Hi odoaker , after reviewing your essay, I'm hoping I can give you a couple of quick pointers to help maximize your score on the exam. Overall I think the the content is good and you really seem to grasp the crux of the flaw in the essay.
Firstly, you mentioned two different points, but didn't preview either in the introduction paragraph. It's always a good idea to at least mention all the arguments you're going to elaborate on in the introduction. This serves as a kind of executive summary to the reader, and ensures that no one is blindsided by topics that come up in paragraphs 2 and 3 (and 4 if need be). Three arguments is also the golden number you should be looking for. It's fine to only have two if you elaborate on them a little more. Either option is fine but I recommend three faults if you can find them.
Secondly, your two paragraphs are of very different lengths. I would recommend trying to make your paragraphs roughly the same size for the sake of symmetry and analysis. In your essay, the first paragraph is about three times longer than the second (I use as deleneations your structure words firstly and secondly). You can either elaborate further on the second paragraph or else break the first paragraph into two sections, more or less where "furthermore" is located, but elaborating more fully on the first paragraph and using firstly, secondly and thirdly (or finally) to really make clear the outline of each paragraph.
For the second argument specifically, I'd introduce some aspects from CR that would be helpful here. What would I need to better evaluate this conclusion? How about statistics from the frozen food industries? Or some technological advancements that might bring down costs in the future? Maybe there's something about economies of scale that could be mentioned or emerging worldwide markets? Anything that would demonstrate the same kind of reasoning that CR questions use on the GMAT. This exam is about logic and reasoning, and the AWA is a great warm up for the rest of the test.
Overall, I'd say this is a solid essay that's a good base for a couple of quick improvements. I'd probably put it in the 4.5 range, so if you can make a couple of quick adjustments you should be ready to get at least a 5 on test day. Good luck!
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