Please rate my TOEFL essay

Out of 5, what would you give me? Thank you very much in advance.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
Childhood is the happiest time of a person's life
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

[489 word counts]

Although a person’s childhood experience may vary from one individual to another, it is probably one of the most memorable times for many adults. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that childhood is the happiest time of a person’s life. When I was a child, I not only had much fewer responsibilities than I do now, but also had several opportunities to connect with fantastic lifetime friends. In addition, with a lot of free time during my childhood, I was able to spend my free time to explore my own interest.

First, I currently work in a small equity fund in Thailand and have much greater responsibilities than I usually did during my childhood. At the moment, I need to work in exchange for money, which, in turn, is used to finance not only my living expenses but also my mother’s monthly allowances and monthly installments of the housing loan that I borrowed to fund the purchase of my apartment. When I was just a child, I did not have to be responsible for any of these expenses. My education expenses were primarily funded by my parents and, hence, my main responsibility is to focus on my study and get good grades.

Second, I currently have many good lifelong friends, most of whom I first met when I was a kid studying in schools and colleges. At that time, we were not interested much in money; our friendship was built on good faith with no involvement from other interests such as money and family background. We are connected with each other through classes, school and college activities, and social circles, not through working relationships, businesses, and corporate circles. I am not saying that I focus on rich friends with high-profile families at the moment, but I have to admit that making friends nowadays especially without embedded interests is not as simple as it used to be.

Third, as a working adult, I need to work five days a week and time becomes an extremely scarce resource while money is not. When I was a child, the reverse of the previous statement is true because I did not have much money but did have a lot of free time, which can be used in either a wise, productive way or a foolish way. I remembered that I could spend my time on practicing classical guitars for the whole afternoon or drums on the weekends. Alternatively, I could relax by playing games, reading comics, or collecting cards. Unfortunately, at the moment, although I have money to purchase the high-quality classical guitar or to pay for several best-selling games, I will not have enough time to do all or some of these activities anymore.

In conclusion, my childhood is the best and most memorable experience in my life and I believe that it is also for many people especially ones who have worked in the corporate world for a while.