Please rate my TOEFL independent essay, thanks!!!!
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17 Aug 2013, 01:23
Question:Do you agree or disagree: Advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way.
Writing:
I do agree with the statement. The prevalence of advertising benefits no one but the corporations promoting their products through advertisements. Driven by the coercion of profits, corporations tend to use exaggerated statistics and deliberately beautified effects to lure customers into their extricate trap of product-selling. Customers may find themselves, after taking a certain weight-losing potion, not as slim as the skinny models as promised in the ads by the company selling the potion. They may also find themselves not as fair as the a certain White-complexioned movie star even if they keep using the white scream which is represented by that movie star. Advertisements are about selling things, not necessarily material products, though. Those who can easily afford a luxury don’t need the persuasion: they gladly buy anything with alacrity. It is those who can’t or who may hesitate upon the not so cheap product, that the ads are targeting at. That is, ads persuade people to buy things they don’t really need or they can’t really afford.
The conclusion about ads can be easily drawn from the large sums of money invested in ads. The result ads intend to achieve must be a profit even larger than the investment. Then who is going to pay for the exorbitant profit? The customers, for sure. So some gullible audiences of ads turn out paying much more that the products are actually worth. A typical instance would be a nutrient pill called Golden Brain, specially developed for the elder people. The pill was advertised for many years on one of the nation’s most authentic and most watched TV programs, before it finally secured its role as an unparalled winner in the market of festival luxury presents. People buy Golden Brain products on festivals to give to their parents or parents-in-law, the latter in particular, for children seeking to please their parents either sincerely or insincerely. Whether the pill is worth the price or not, the content in the whole package of Holiday Big Sale has already lost its importance: what really matters is the look of it as a presentable gift. But what makes it presentable? It’s advertisement, rather than the packaging or the painting.
Advertisement has consciously brought on a sense of luxury among the general public, because when a society enjoys luxury, people are willing to buy, thus creating a wasteful society where things are thrown out long before they are worn out, and luxuries are gradually labeled into necessities.
Thank you so much!