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Please review my essay...

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Status: Going for the MBA
Joined: 04 Jun 2011
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Schools: MIT, NYU
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Please review my essay... [#permalink] New post 08 Jun 2011, 07:42
Question from the official guide:
"Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you thing is better?

My answer:

A serious analysis of the question of whether parents should give their children independence earlier than needed requires weighing a number of important considerations. While reasons supporting the conclusion that the parents should let go of their children at a younger age have a certain validity, other, more important arguments demand the conclusion that parents should teach and lead their children as long as possible.

First, of great importance is the fact that the world is a dangerous place for inexperience young adults. Children getting independence and moving forward away from their parents are in danger in many aspects. For example, crime can meet the young adult's needs for making a living, rather than a regular job. A young adult can go to the open world and, unfortunately, be exposed to the various crimes in the world. However, there is a possibility that if the young adult were to stay with his parents, he would learn more about the dangers and know how to avoid them.

Second, one must not overlook the idea that the young adults lack of knowledge in different things, such as, finance, nutrition, and even communication skills. Those skills could be learned from the family. For instance, parent could teach their children, when they are old enough to understand, about finance. Moreover, the parent could explain the basics of the financial world and how to deal with it in the real life. Few examples for that is paying the rent, paying the bills, and how to control the outcome money balanced with the income money.

In addition, nutrition is as most important subject to lean as finance. Parent could teach the young adult to eat properly. From my own experience as a parent, parents tend to feed their children with sugar-food of fat-food when the children are small; however, when the children turn to be young adults, the parents start to feed them with healthy food and thus teaching them to eat properly.

Finally, in light of this evidence, one cannot maintain the view that young adults should receive independence as soon as possible for the reasons mentioned before, clearly support the conclusion that parents should teach and lead their children as long as possible. However, this idea only depends on the family and their willingness to raise the children. There could be a situation that the children get independence anyway because of their parents and lean about life by the hard way, and came out to be a successful adult.


Thank you all for your time!
Please review my essay...   [#permalink] 08 Jun 2011, 07:42
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