Please review my essay and cite on areas to be improved : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
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# Please review my essay and cite on areas to be improved

Author Message
Intern
Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Posts: 1
Location: United States
Concentration: Strategy, Operations
GMAT Date: 12-30-2011
GPA: 3.6
WE: Programming (Computer Software)
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Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 0

Re: Please review my essay and cite on areas to be improved [#permalink]

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28 Nov 2011, 21:19
Analysis of Argument:

Many non prescription of drugs can cause serious sideeffects, particularly when taken in conjunction with other drugs or in large quantities. If these potentially harmful nonprescription drugs were sold only by prescription, then a doctor or pharmacist would be able to explain the possible side effects of the drug and would also be able to monitor the quantity of the drug purchased, therby decreasing the chance a person would take too much of the drug. Therefore, any drug with potentially serious side effects should be sold only by prescription.

My Essay :

The editor concludes that any drug with potentially serious side effects should be sold only with prescription. The editor’s line of reasoning is that doctor or pharmacist would be able to explain the possible side effects of the drug and would also be able to monitor the quantity of drug purchased, thereby decreasing the chance that person would take too much of a drug. The argument is convincing for several reasons.

First of all, The editor’s observation that nonprescription drugs cause side effects is seen by us in many cases. Recently, there was news on the death of five teenagers due to consumption of cough medicines. According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), The deaths have occurred because of the consumption of DXM sold in capsules. FDA is concerned about the abuse of dextromethorphan (DXM), a synthetically produced ingredient in many over the counter (OTC) cough and cold remedies. The agency is working with other health and law enforcement authorities to address this serious issue and warn the public. Such incidents could have been prevented had there been no OTC drugs in the market and all drugs could be purchased with only prescription. OTC medicines can cause unpleasant effects, which are also called adverse effects. These adverse effects include side effects, drug-drug interactions and food-drug interactions.

Secondly, Although OTC medicines have a low risk of adverse effects when used occasionally by adults who are generally healthy, they can pose greater risks for some people, including very young children, the elderly and people taking more than 1 type of medicine. People who have the following conditions are such as Asthma, Bleeding disorders, Blood clotting disorders, Breathing problems, Diabetes, Enlarged prostate gland, Epilepsy, Heart disease, Kidney problems, and liver problems are at higher risk.Even though these conditions put some people at greater risk, it is important to remember that anyone can experience an adverse effect from a medicine.
Finally, the editor was spot on when he suggested that drugs should be sold only when prescriptions given from doctors or pharmacist are shown. This would bring down the number of cases affected by purchase of nonprescription drugs drastically. Though it can be argued that not all people are wealthy enough to go for a doctor to ailments like cough or cold. This can be no reason as many countries are providing free health care services for its poor citizens.

In conclusion, The editor has made a complete analysis of the situation and has come up with a strong idea to alleviate people’s suffering owing to nonprescription drugs
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Re: Please review my essay and cite on areas to be improved [#permalink]

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29 Nov 2011, 23:43
Whether a company succeeds or not depends on a variety of factors. However the success of all these factors depends on the job satisfaction of its employees.

The following is my essay. I am non native. I can not use hard words. I will use simple words and sentences to convey rich ideas. issue essay structures can be flexible provided that we have clear idea and organization.

Some persons think that satisfaction of the company employees are not important to a company success. Other think that the satisfaction is key important. This is complex problem. My idea is clear. I think the satisfaction is important.

First reason for my idea is that the satisfaction of employees creates the high productivity of working in the company. All of us knows that when a persons are happy, they work more efficiently. In my company, some person are happy with the job and work very well. Other persons are not happy with the job and work slowly and receive low salary and they normally can not finish the job on time and they always need the help of other employees in the job.

The second reason for my idea is that the satisfaction of the employee creates the creativeness in the job. It is correct that the satisfaciton makes not only the produtivity but also the creativeness. In my company the employees with the satisfaction always help the boss with the good idea and make the boss happy, contributing to the company's success and development. They are the persons who love the job very much. They are different from me, who work to earn money only.

The third reasons for my idea is that the satisfaction of the employee creates the loyalty and the loyalty reduces the expenditure of recruitement. This fact can be realize easily. Only when the employees are happy they do not leave for another company. In the company which is next to my office, most employees are not happy and look for other jobs. This company always have to recruite the new employees and spend a lot of money for the job. The company can not save money for doing the main business and this company reports lower profit than my company though we are in the same business.

In conclusion, I think that the satisfaction of the employees is key to success of the company for many reasons above. I think you will agred will me.

I do this in 25 minutes including the editing. Pls, comment on my essay. I want to write another essay and put my essay to the one of member so that we can discuss more here. issue essay can be much different.

thank you.
Re: Please review my essay and cite on areas to be improved   [#permalink] 29 Nov 2011, 23:43
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