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please review my essay..need help

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please review my essay..need help [#permalink] New post 12 Aug 2013, 19:31
Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.

The issue here has raised a number of questions in countries around the world. It is prevalent in today's world and has raised serious doubts. Arts or military might? Which of the two defines a nation. A lot of thought has to be put into this issue, as both play a vital role in the way the society progresses.

Arts are the defining characteristics of a nation. They are symbolic of each country, they provide vital information about the existing traditions in a society. Art forms such as dance, literature, music , paintings are all an indispensable part of the society. Albeit, military power does play a vital role in securing a nation against foreign and internal threats, simply providing majority of the nations funding for military purposes is unjustified.

Art forms also share equal importance. All great nations have been recognized by their artistic works. Beethoven's symphony, Leonardo Da Vinci's puzzling paintings, the delicate Indian dance traditions have left one and all awe struck. Arts mainly thrive on the appreciation that is given by the public. An artist does not need millions of dollars of funding for him to put up a beautiful work of art. Money is not a motivational factor for arts, it is respect and appreciation that motivates an artist to carry out his work with sheer determination.

Military advancements require billions of dollars of investment each year from the government, however it would be wrong to say that art forms require an equivalent amount of funding. But completely ignoring arts all together might lead to a sharp decline in artistic endeavors. Some amount of promotional funding, and security in part of the government has to be provided. Museums, exhibitions and other promotional events have to be initiated by the government to ensure that the artists are motivated to do what they do best.

This does not mean the government invest million dollars in arts, but some part of the government funding should be allotted for arts in case a day arises when one needs to revive an art form which has lost all its value and which was once the essence of a particular tradition. Military advancements are of great importance in today's world and nation's need to invest a lot of money to ensure the safety of its citizens.

Thus although no large scale funding is required for art forms, but the government should keep aside some part of the tax payer's money for arts, so that people can continue to enjoy the true essence of their homeland and culture, which inturn would motivate various artists to continue their work.
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Re: please review my essay..need help [#permalink] New post 18 Aug 2013, 05:18
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The issue essay type is no longer on the GMAT. It has been replaced by the Integrated Reasoning section so this type of essay would not be asked any longer.
However, as written I would grade this a 3.5. It would greatly benefit from topic sentences that clearly state the purpose of the paragraph as well as more in depth explanation of the points you are making.
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Re: please review my essay..need help   [#permalink] 18 Aug 2013, 05:18
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