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Please review/rate my essay...1st attempt

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Please review/rate my essay...1st attempt [#permalink] New post 04 Sep 2011, 02:16
Hi,

This is my first attempt on the issue analysis essay. Frankly, I was pretty disappointed with my attempt. I am short by at least one point. Still, please review and rate it. Comments/criticisms/suggestions are more than welcome.

TOPIC:
The most effective strategy for a company to use in order to maintain and increase profits over the long term is to maintain high ethical standards.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.


The opinion above states that companies can most effectively maintain and
increase profits by maintaining high ethical standards. I cannot agree more.
High ethical standards at all times are bread and butter for any company
aiming to build itself over the long term. Ethical standards should be
maintained in the policies laid down by the company as well as the general
behaviour of its employees.

We live in a world governed by cynicism and cut-throat competition in almost all
fields of life. The plain desire to survive in such an environment can lead
companies to deviate from even the most fundamental ethical standards.
Enron Corporation, once voted as United States' most innovative company, is a
perfect example. In its desire to maximize short-term profits and shareholders'
equity, the company failed to look at the bigger picture: its long term
sustainability. The company, ultimately, went bankrupt, its top executives
behind the bars. It was one of the biggest frauds in the US history. It is not
difficult to look back and imagine what might have been had the company
maintained high ethical standards from the outset.

Another crucial aspect for long-term growth is the reputation of the company. It
is intuitive that the companies maintaining the highest ethical standards are
bound to be respected and trusted by the general public. A fraud, even of the
smallest level, can seriously hamper the public image of a company. Sticking
to high ethical standards rules out any probability of fraud.

In sum, we have been able to illustrate how maintenance of high ethical
standards is the real deal for any company aiming for a long-term survival. The
consequences of deviating from such standards can be severe.

Regards,
Rajat
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Re: Please review/rate my essay...1st attempt [#permalink] New post 04 Sep 2011, 12:49
Hi Rajat,

Quick points:
(1) You do not need to refer to the title right at the beginning (first sentence). That is a redundancy.
(2) You should define right at the outset what ethical standards mean for you, i.e. define the subject that you are addressing in detail
(3) Your final para says 'we have been able to illustrate...'. Who is the 'we' here? Also, you have not really illustrated this conclusively, but just expressed your opinion, and should state just as much.
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Intern
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Joined: 19 Jan 2011
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Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 0

Re: Please review/rate my essay...1st attempt [#permalink] New post 04 Sep 2011, 13:40
Thanks a lot for the suggestions. I'll take care of the 3 points. How would you rate it?
Also, I wasted a lot of time jotting down points while writing this. I could have used that time to write one more point, perhaps. Please suggest tips to improve my speed.

Regards,
Rajat
Re: Please review/rate my essay...1st attempt   [#permalink] 04 Sep 2011, 13:40
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