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Please review this essay. Thanks in advance!

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Intern
Intern
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Joined: 06 Apr 2013
Posts: 13
Concentration: Marketing, General Management
GMAT 1: 640 Q44 V34
GPA: 3
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 0 [0], given: 33

Please review this essay. Thanks in advance! [#permalink] New post 27 Oct 2013, 03:13
"We are spending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made; we need to limit our warranty to two years in order to improve our profit margins. The current lifetime warranty can lead to costs decades into a product's life cycle. Also, we pay our customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

'The argument states few recommendations in order to improve profit margins of a company which manufactures industrial equipment. The author says that since the company currently offers free lifetime warranty on its products, it is spending too much on customer service. The argument also states that the company is also paying extra to its customer service executives since they possess the skills to service not only company’s current product range but also its products which have been discontinued. However, in lack of certain details and information about company and its industry, the conclusion is unconvincing.

Firstly, the author fails to consider the repercussions the change in the warranty period, from current lifetime warranty to a limited two year warranty, may have. He readily assumes that this change will help company decrease its current expenditure on customer service but he does not consider that this change may impact on company’s revenues as well. The customer may choose to consider other options available in the market with higher free warranty periods.

Secondly, the author states that the company is also spending more on its employees in customer department team because they possess skills to service even those instruments which are no longer produced by the company. Even if the company reduces the warranty period on its products, it will continue to receive service queries related to its old and discontinued products, so this argument is irrelevant in order to evaluate the author’s position.

Finally, the author has failed to strengthen his claim with supporting examples and information of relevant factors. For example, if the author provided information that even if the company changes his warranty period to two years, the warranty will be at par or higher as compared to its competitors in the market. Or, if he had provided the information about other unique selling points of the company’s products, it would have been much easier to evaluate his position and his position could be strengthened.

In conclusion, as we discussed in our examples above that though the author proposes ways to improve his company’s profit margins, he has failed to establish his claim. Certainly there is more to explore here and his position could be evaluated in light of essential factors described above.'
Manager
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Joined: 23 Oct 2013
Posts: 72
Location: India
Concentration: General Management, Strategy
GMAT 1: 680 Q46 V36
GPA: 3.95
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Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 32

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Re: Please review this essay. Thanks in advance! [#permalink] New post 27 Oct 2013, 05:03
jaya1 wrote:
"We are spending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made; we need to limit our warranty to two years in order to improve our profit margins. The current lifetime warranty can lead to costs decades into a product's life cycle. Also, we pay our customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

'The argument states few recommendations in order to improve profit margins of a company which manufactures industrial equipment. The author says that since the company currently offers free lifetime warranty on its products, it is spending too much on customer service. The argument also states that the company is also paying extra to its customer service executives since they possess the skills to service not only company’s current product range but also its products which have been discontinued. However, in lack of certain details and information about company and its industry, the conclusion is unconvincing.

Firstly, the author fails to consider the repercussions the change in the warranty period, from current lifetime warranty to a limited two year warranty, may have. He readily assumes that this change will help company decrease its current expenditure on customer service but he does not consider that this change may impact on company’s revenues as well. The customer may choose to consider other options available in the market with higher free warranty periods.

Secondly, the author states that the company is also spending more on its employees in customer department team because they possess skills to service even those instruments which are no longer produced by the company. Even if the company reduces the warranty period on its products, it will continue to receive service queries related to its old and discontinued products, so this argument is irrelevant in order to evaluate the author’s position.

Finally, the author has failed to strengthen his claim with supporting examples and information of relevant factors. For example, if the author provided information that even if the company changes his warranty period to two years, the warranty will be at par or higher as compared to its competitors in the market. Or, if he had provided the information about other unique selling points of the company’s products, it would have been much easier to evaluate his position and his position could be strengthened.

In conclusion, as we discussed in our examples above that though the author proposes ways to improve his company’s profit margins, he has failed to establish his claim. Certainly there is more to explore here and his position could be evaluated in light of essential factors described above.'



Hi,

One thing that I found wrong at quite a few places in your essay :
Try to write in 3rd person always.

GoodLuck..
Please press KUDOS button on the left if my post helped you...
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Re: Please review this essay. Thanks in advance!   [#permalink] 27 Oct 2013, 05:03
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