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Please score my essay.

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Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 10 May 2011, 03:52
Some people think that university students should be required to attend classes. Others support the claim that going to classes should be optional for students. This issue is a controversial one, but in my opinion a closer examination reveals that university students should be required to attend classes for several reasons. In this essay, I will explain my position providing examples to support my claims.
One reason to support students should be required to attend classes is that they can understand the details of the topic in term of depth provided by the teachers who are sophisticated in that way. Mainly, teachers often give the example to illustrate the details of each topic in the class so the students who attend the class can understand exactly what the topic means or remember it easier. In sometimes, some topics are so hard that the students can’t understand by themselves so these parts need to acquire the explanation from the teachers whom they are sophisticated in that way and know how to explain clearly to their students. This means that some topics are so hard to understand by themselves. For example, when I was studied in the Prince of Songkla University, I had studied the taxation subject. This subject is very hard for the students who don’t attend the class because this subject is much specified. Some subtopics like the tax of each person didn’t involve in our daily life at that time so I and my friends couldn’t understand by ourselves. We needed to ask the teachers about the subtopics in that class. Furthermore, we know how to prepare ourselves about the examination from the review by teachers in the class also. Clearly, university students should attend the classes.
Another reason is that university students do not only acquire the knowledge from the teachers who are sophisticated in that way but also build the relationship among friends who are in classes. This is so important part because the students should know how to live with other people in the society. To illustrate this point, I will mention about the connection within the university period. After the students graduate from the university, they need to find the job for which they want to do. One thing that is important is the connection; in many times the students probably are accepted by the company because of the connection which is built in the university period. In some case, some students probably run the business after they graduate from the university. This is impossible if the students have no any connection in the society or don’t know how to live with other people.
On the other hand, some may argue that going to classes should be optional for students. These individuals may point to examples of the students who can understand everything by themselves are minority in the real world. However, they will miss the score of attendance which have impact on their grade.
In summary, while there are arguments to be made for both sides, it is clear that there are greater advantages for university students should attend the classes because they can acquire the amount of knowledge and build the relationship among their friends in the same time.


536 words
thx a lot for templates and recommends
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Re: Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 19 May 2011, 12:48
In general, the essay is good. I think you need work on punctuation!
There are silly such as "I and my friends"

I would give 5!
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Re: Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 23 May 2011, 12:05
Actually "I and my friends" is correct in that sentence, isn't it? Otherwise it'd be "me couldn't understand", which sounds a bit like a caveman.

I was thrown off by a couple of things though, like "in sometimes".

The structure is great. I'd say stick a bit more to the frameworks so you avoid making silly non-native speaker mistakes. The more you've memorized the phrases "It is also important to notice that...", the less you gotta get creative and make mistakes.

I'd give you a 5 or whatever adds up to 30.

Good luck!
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Re: Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 23 May 2011, 12:55
Re: your question:

"I and my friends..." should be "My friends and I..."

(If a group of people is the subject of the sentence, "I" always comes last.

Ex: Rebecca, Greg, and I
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Re: Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 23 May 2011, 13:06
amylucha wrote:
(If a group of people is the subject of the sentence, "I" always comes last.


Is this a grammar rule, though? I understand it is a politeness rule, but never knew it was grammatically incorrect to say it the other way around.
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Re: Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 23 May 2011, 14:23
I'm not an english major, so I can't tell you that if it's grammatically incorrect or not. But I've always been taught that the correct way is "Rebecca and I..." and not "I and Rebecca...".

"I and Rebecca..." sounds very strange to me.

Maybe others can chime in about the grammar rule.

:)
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Re: Please score my essay. [#permalink] New post 29 May 2011, 07:48
amylucha wrote:
I'm not an english major, so I can't tell you that if it's grammatically incorrect or not. But I've always been taught that the correct way is "Rebecca and I..." and not "I and Rebecca...".

"I and Rebecca..." sounds very strange to me.

Maybe others can chime in about the grammar rule.

:)


Yes, it is most certainly a grammar rule..
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Re: Please score my essay.   [#permalink] 29 May 2011, 07:48
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