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Pls rate my issue essay, it's energy resouces problem

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Pls rate my issue essay, it's energy resouces problem [#permalink] New post 16 Jun 2011, 06:33
It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.


Different people have different views due to their own respective angles. On the one hand, as is well known and has often been advocated that individual nations should make independently sacrifices to conserve energy. On the other hand, others probably insist that International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we want to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations. We do not have to look very far to see the valid standpoint of this matter. In the final analysis, I am prone to hold the position that both individual nations and international leadership or worldwide cooperation are essential to protect energy resources. My conclusion which is based on the subsequent grouds and considerations.

One reason for my belief is that individual nations should hold the responsibility of protecting world’s energy resources. History has it that too much oil exploit and envoirnment damage casuse people to suffer in life. Under this circumstance, it is obvious that individual nations should take an active action on protecting energy not only for their countries but also for the whole mankind. It is wise to acknowledge that this idea, although suffer from some obvious drawbacks, nourish some merits primary because the implicit rationale behind the speaker’s assertion according with common sense and our everday experience as human being, hence is fundamentally indisputable.

Another equivalently crucial ground that would have to be presented to develop my viewpoint is that individual nations are suppose to lead such energy conservation campaign which calls for everybody to discipline himself, it is essential for individual nation to make independently sacrifice to conserve energy resources. For example, if we spend out all the energy in some day, then what else can we use replace energy resources? If we don’t pay much attention to our envoirnment protection, who knows when might be our end of world? If we don’t self examine constantly, who to blame when critical moment occurs – high oil prices and tremendous oil leakage in middle east or incident of gulf of mexico. So as far as I am concerned, individual nations should make sacrifice to the world energy conservation which is a sagacous action.

Thirdly, it is probably true that in certain conditions that individual nations couldn’t afford do this by themselves. Nonetheless, this alone does not generate a sufficient support to advocate that individual nations can drop off their obligation to world energy protection. As a matter of fact, these cases are not common and hence too weak to boost this conclusion. When the advantages and disadcantage are carefully weighed, more striking conclusion is obvious that both individual nations and International leadership and worldwide cooperation should work together to solve this energy protection problem. It is also the hot issue in G20 summit when president obama highlights that we should all put our best endevor to protect our world’s energy resouces which means that both individual nations and international leadership work together hand in hand to protect world’s energy resources for future generations.
Consequently, if all the factors above are considered, we will find out that advantage of cooperation of both individual nations and international leadership to protect world’s energy outweights those of individual nations to do it alone. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to conclusion that choosing both individual and worldwide cooperation protect energy resources benefit all and create happy ending as we all wish for.
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Re: Pls rate my issue essay, it's energy resouces problem [#permalink] New post 26 Jun 2011, 05:27
Great Effort!

I would rate this between 3 and 4. Some potential improvements

1. Simple sentences. It's my personal opinion, but why use 10 words when you can say the same thing in 5. Adding bigger words just for the sake of adding bigger words makes the reading a bit awkward. E.g. "In the final analysis, I am prone to hold the position..." can simply be "I strongly believe...".
2. More examples. You first body paragraph is lacking good examples. From my experience, issue essays are all about examples.

Keep practicing!
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Re: Pls rate my issue essay, it's energy resouces problem   [#permalink] 26 Jun 2011, 05:27
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Pls rate my issue essay, it's energy resouces problem

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