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practice AWA essay that needs REVIEW

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practice AWA essay that needs REVIEW [#permalink] New post 22 Aug 2012, 13:26
Does anyone mind reviewing my practice Issue AWA essay? Here's the topic:

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

My response:


The average college campus is one of a diverse pool of students, hailing by a variety of social and educational backgrounds. Over the years, the competitiveness of college admissions has increased due to students coming in with a diversity of talents and experiences. The competitiveness of the college admissions has gone on to enrich the undergraduate experience, adding value and meaning to one’s college years. If a universal curriculum is enforced for all students before entering college, many colleges and universities will lack academic diversity, students will graduate from high school lowly skilled for trade and labor jobs, and the economic growth of that nation will be come to a halt.
The undergraduate experience is one where students are allowed to explore their interests through a plethora of majors and extracurricular activities. However, in order for students to know which major best suits their interest, they must discover where their talents lie before entering college. A universal curriculum that is enforced throughout elementary and secondary education can greatly limit students from discovering their talents. If the curriculum is greatly focused on math and science, many students that are skilled in creative writing, the arts, and social sciences may miss their opportunity to develop themselves academically. As a result, college campuses will lose the diversity of thought and experience that it now thrives on to create an academic enrich environment. It is the diversity of talents and interests that allow for the college to be a time of enrichment and discovery, if students all come from the same academic background; we put the academic climate at universities at risk.
There are many trade the labor jobs performed by non-college educated adults. These jobs require hands on skill or expertise. With a national curriculum, many students may graduate from high school lowly skilled and unable to perform the much needed and essential task for labor and trade jobs. The national curriculum may not cater to the needs of all students, some students may be headed to a four year university while others may attend a community college, or enter the work force. Students need more options within their education, rather than one that is general and unspecific to their own career and education goals.
Lastly, a national curriculum will greatly disadvantage the economic growth of a specific country. What happens if the national curriculum only emphasizes one science and technology? Students will enter college all with the same career interests, such as wanting to be a physician or a scientist. As a result, there will be little job opportunities and many people out of work. A poor job market will surely causes the national economy to suffer, along with many other economic aspects of the country.
In all, a universal education curriculum only puts a nation at a disadvantage.
practice AWA essay that needs REVIEW   [#permalink] 22 Aug 2012, 13:26
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