Shadygeorge actually PMed me this essay and I made the following comments:
"This is a much better essay. You've got better organization since you are using the four paragraph structure. And I did a word count... you're now at 315 words, which is a more appropriate length. I do think you should strive to write 350 words, at least.
There are a few grammatical and usage errors. For example, you should write:
"instant accessibility of information" instead of "an instant accessibility of information."
"it was written about in many news...."
"log on to the Internet"
"therefore these days it is essential to..."
"that's how I think today's world..."
There are a few other errors. See if you can find them on your own.
:TOEFLresources.com: Step-by-step guides to the test and a free essay evaluation service