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rate my TOEFL essay with preference of 30 pleasa :)

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rate my TOEFL essay with preference of 30 pleasa :) [#permalink] New post 01 Nov 2012, 17:23
the widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on level never experienced before. how does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's word?


answer:


The availability of information has increased due to the widespread use of the Internet. This increase has greatly impacted today’s world, both negatively and positively. Some of the positive aspects include not only an instant accessibility to information but also a wide variety that is reachable to mass numbers. It has also helped in many fields, such as scientific research studies and students’ education. However, this information might be unreliable, misleading people.

The Internet has become a daily tool for us to know what is happening all over the world. Nowadays, worldwide news has become reachable to the majority of people. News websites offer great varieties of news, not only political and economical news but also sports and arts news. The instant accessibility has made the world a small village. For example, as soon as hurricane Sandy hit America, it was published in all news websites and social networks. Apart from news, the Internet is full of information that has contributed to researches in the scientific field. The internet has made it easy for researchers to exchange information all across the world. Moreover, within the academic field, students have greater opportunities to learn, through things as search engines and E-books.

Nevertheless, the Internet is full of untrusted authors and unofficial sources. Anyone can log in to the Internet and post any information, regardless of its credibility. As a result, it misleads people who don’t trace the publishers or the sources. Therefore, especially these days, it is a must to be cautious by checking the truthfulness of the material.

That’s how I think the today’s world has been influenced by the great increase of the Internet and consequently, information accessibility. It is true that the Internet is a double edged weapon. Though it is useful, it is can get harmful when not used wisely.





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Re: rate my TOEFL essay with preference of 30 pleasa :) [#permalink] New post 01 Nov 2012, 18:31
"it is can get harmful" i mean it can get harmful without is
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Re: rate my TOEFL essay with preference of 30 pleasa :) [#permalink] New post 02 Nov 2012, 12:04
Shadygeorge actually PMed me this essay and I made the following comments:

"This is a much better essay. You've got better organization since you are using the four paragraph structure. And I did a word count... you're now at 315 words, which is a more appropriate length. I do think you should strive to write 350 words, at least.

There are a few grammatical and usage errors. For example, you should write:

"instant accessibility of information" instead of "an instant accessibility of information."
"economic news"
"it was written about in many news...."
"log on to the Internet"
"therefore these days it is essential to..."
"that's how I think today's world..."
"double-edged"

There are a few other errors. See if you can find them on your own.
_________________

:TOEFLresources.com: Step-by-step guides to the test and a free essay evaluation service

Re: rate my TOEFL essay with preference of 30 pleasa :)   [#permalink] 02 Nov 2012, 12:04
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