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Rate my writing skills and give suggestions

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Intern
Intern
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Joined: 15 Mar 2012
Posts: 3
Location: India
GPA: 3.2
WE: Information Technology (Computer Software)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 0

Rate my writing skills and give suggestions [#permalink] New post 13 Nov 2012, 02:01
ESSAY1

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for
example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).
Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your answer.


A university is a great place for a student. There is no one or two reasons which makes it great, in fact there are many which make it great. A student can make a career out of it; he gets an opportunity to fulfill his long cherished dreams. A person can improve his knowledge and improve his overall personality by attending a university.A student gets the opportunity to land up in a job. These are some of the main reasons which draw a student to attend a college.

Career is one of the most important parts of human life and it is the university where a person can get a solid platform to make a career.
Students have access to listen to lectures of the teachers who are pioneers in their fields. They can clear their doubts and misunderstandings in the classroom itself. Also a student can get a deeper understanding about the subject through participation in classroom discussions.

Many universities have placement cell which helps a student in getting a job; this gives a student a kick start to progress in his career.

The overall personality of a person depends a lot on his social network and it is the university which gives him the opportunity to network .A student can make lot of friends and exchange information with them. This enhances his knowledge not only about the subject taught in the classroom but also about the interesting facts happening around the globe.

Overall, it is the teachers, the friends, the career fairs, the informal events happening at the university and the hostel life which drives a student to attend a university.


ESSAY2

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are
the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support
your answer.

We come across many teachers in life especially in school and in our house. Most of the school teachers are academic oriented, but that is not the case with our parents. They go beyond the boundary of the academic book. Hence, I agree to the point that parents are the best teachers.
In majority of the families around the world, a child stays along with his parents under one roof, in fact he stays along with them right from his birth. So, a child grows up under the guidance of the parents for most of his time. They teach him the basic ethics and the moral values essential to a person in his life.
During low and depressing moments in the life of a person, his parents stand along with him and give him the necessary courage. They are the most concerned people about the person .They act as a mentor and supporter during tough times. They show him the right path by either themselves or by getting necessary inputs from the people who are experts in those fields.
For example, a girl in a typical Indian family learns preparing food from her mother. As time progresses she gets mastery over preparing delicious dishes. This is solely because of the guidance from her mother. There are seldom any places outside except home where the process of preparing food dishes can be taught.
Moreover the focus of parents on a child is not in any one particular field, they deal with many fields. They mentor him in many fields.
So, all of the above along with the parents role in the development of inner conscience of a child by staying along with him makes parents as the best teachers.
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Intern
Intern
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Joined: 31 Oct 2012
Posts: 42
Followers: 1

Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 0

Re: Rate my writing skills and give suggestions [#permalink] New post 15 Nov 2012, 16:06
You've got excellent vocabulary and grammar (just a few little issues here and there). However, your essays lack structure. You should be following a basic Intro/Body Paragraph/Body Paragraph/Conclusion format. Fortunately it only takes a short amount of studying to learn that.

Seriously, if you follow a traditional structure and maybe length your essays a bit you'll earn a very high score in the writing section of the TOEFL.

The link in my signature does include a guide to essay organization (check the "writing" section).
_________________

:TOEFLresources.com: Step-by-step guides to the test and a free essay evaluation service

Re: Rate my writing skills and give suggestions   [#permalink] 15 Nov 2012, 16:06
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