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Senior Manager
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Schools: UC Berkley, UCLA
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Rate this please. Thank you! [#permalink] New post 07 Feb 2011, 09:50
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“Parents should not shoulder the full burden of their children’s college tuition. If university students are required to pay for at least a portion of their education, they will take their studies more seriously and, ultimately, benefit more from their college experience.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


The issue of whether a student must pay for his or her college tuition is a controversial one. On one hand, some argue that the students drive should make that student serious about his or her education and therefore, a parent must invest in that child's tuition. On the other, the argument may turn to whether the student understands the value of earned money. I, however, agree with the earlier argument. I will explain the reasons in the up-coming paragraphs.

To begin with, passion gives a person enough drive to take his or her education seriously. When one is passionate about a certain field of study, one is motivated enough to push further into discovering more about that field of study. Students who love what they study are those that make breakthroughs in scientific research, discoveries of ancient worlds, blockbuster movies, etc... that make what the world is today fast paced, convenient and advanced.

Secondly, a student would be able to perform better when he or she is focused on the course of work involved. Worries and anxiety about whether one is going to be able to complete her payments for one's education might in fact hinder one's performance. And so even if that student may have been serious about he or she may not do well.

Admittedly, some may argue that college students may not understand the value of earned money or a parent may not be able to afford to send that student to school and must work even harder to attain that goal. While that may be true, a student would be able to be properly educated and realized a greater quality in his or her work, if that student does not have to worry about the payments of college, therefore, putting that student in a better position of working for a high-salary.
In sum, I believe that if parents paid for their student's education they would have made a very good investment and should, therefore, not be thought of as a burden.



It took me just about 30 mins to write this. What do you think?
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1 KUDOS received
Manager
Manager
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Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Posts: 201
Concentration: Real Estate, Finance
Schools: MIT (Sloan) - Class of 2014
GMAT 1: 760 Q50 V44
Followers: 32

Kudos [?]: 484 [1] , given: 70

Re: Rate this please. Thank you! [#permalink] New post 23 Feb 2011, 18:36
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Hey! Your arguments are good. Although, I think you should have written more. You can use templates that will help you to have longer introductions/conclusions. Maybe try these: good-awa-templates-109839.html

Also, you could provide an example. This always helps you to go over 400 words. You got 336 words in this one. I believe that the closer to 500, the better.

I won't risk to give you a grade because I don't have enough experience to do so.

Cheers.
Senior Manager
Senior Manager
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Joined: 30 Nov 2010
Posts: 264
Schools: UC Berkley, UCLA
Followers: 1

Kudos [?]: 54 [0], given: 66

Re: Rate this please. Thank you! [#permalink] New post 24 Feb 2011, 15:11
Thank you Miguel! That's helpful info
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Re: Rate this please. Thank you!   [#permalink] 24 Feb 2011, 15:11
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