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Review on my AWA essay

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Review on my AWA essay [#permalink] New post 01 Jul 2013, 07:28
please review my AWA essay and let me know how much would it score
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The following appeared in the opinion section of a national newsmagazine:

“To reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain on the existing system and contributing to improved morale.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion
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MY ESSAY:
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In the argument presented above the person who gives the opinion has not considered the pace of technology that has been increasing over the past few years with the postal department.There are various reasons for the deterioration of the postal services and the price of postage stamps is not one of the main reasons.So the suggestion given above would yield a negative effect rather than a positive effect.
When we see the various reasons for the failure of the postal services, an important one would be the E-mail world. By using emails we can connect to anyone from anywhere in the world.All we need is a computer,tablet or a mobile. Technology today has provided us a number of gadgets to connect with various people.Instead of taking a paper,jotting the needed thoughts,finding a cover for the letter and then posting it, all we need to do is click 'compose mail' button,type and click 'send' button.Using the email feature we can also do a grammar check and decorate our thoughts with various colors and fonts which indeed is a time-consuming task in papers.
Another main reason is that apart from email we can also contact people through various aspects of the technology.For example we can send messages in apps like Whatsapp developed by The Apple company,send personalized messages through facebook or post statuses in our facebook wall.One can argue that this has made people lazy but when it comes to conveying a message to a large group of say 100 people, posting a status in our facebook wall is ten times better than posting the same letter to 100 people.It saves time as well as energy.There is no need to do a job in a tedious way when we have easier ways to do the same..
The opinion given in the above argument will have a negative effect for the same reason stated in the argument itself.If the price of postage stamps was also one of the reasons for the deterioration of the postal services then increasing the prices of the same is not going to prove effective.People will start to neglect the services more and resort to other ways.In today's world everyone has a gadget that has some sort of technological connection with the world so it is easier to connect with people through more than one means.Therefore in order to increase the revenue of the postal services, the price increase of postal stamps will not be helpful.They should resort to other methods before which they should find the actual reason for the failure.It can be due to the few number of post offices available,high prices of stamps or the difficulty of writing a letter on paper than typing it on an email.While the first two reasons can be resolved to some extent , the third reason depends of the preference of the people who write and so can not be evaluated.
Review on my AWA essay   [#permalink] 01 Jul 2013, 07:28
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