The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious : GMAT Sentence Correction (SC)
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# The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious

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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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25 Nov 2003, 21:25
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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month.

(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month
(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival’s month
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival
[Reveal] Spoiler: OA
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12 Jul 2004, 22:14
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D. The Olympic Games cannot proclaim anything.
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14 Jan 2013, 15:17
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skamal7 wrote:
The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month.

I'm happy to help with this.
This is GMAT SC #60 in the OG13.

(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month
The OG feels that the phrase "in that" is somewhat stilted and over-formal. It does use two words where one would suffice. This one is not black & white wrong, but more a shade of gray. If all the other answers were clearly wrong, this probably could pass as a correct anwer.

(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival’s month
Misplaced modifier. The world isn't "proclaiming", so who is? The games? the states? The GMAT doesn't like ambiguity. Also, this sentence has two distinct actions, so it would be best phrased as two full [noun] + [verb] clauses, and this option casts the second half of the sentence as a participial phrase rather than as a clause. This is wrong.

(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
A pronoun with unclear antecedent --- does "they" mean the states? the games? the people of Greece (not mentioned explicitly --- another no-no for antecedents on the GMAT!). The antecedent of the pronoun "they" is ambiguity. On GMAT SC, ambiguity = death. This is wrong.

(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
Very clear. We have two full clauses, joined by the conjunction "for" (which means "because"), thus making clear the causal link between the two actions. This is sleek, efficient, and direct ---- a very strong answer.

(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival
A winner of the flabby awkward Olympics! This changes the verb "proclaimed" to a noun "proclamation", and almost invariably, this is the GMAT's strategy for changing a correct answer into a wrong answer. Whenever a verb is re-written as a noun, that almost always makes the sentence more awkward, less direct, and more wordy --- that's exactly what we have here. This version is an unholy abomination that should be taken out back and shot. This is incorrect.

Again, if everything else failed, we might go with (A) in a pinch, but here, (D) is a much stronger answer --- clearly (D) is the best possible answer here.

Mike
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Here you are!

As, Since, Because, For, and In that

All four of these words can be used to refer to the reason for something. They are not used in the same way.

1. as and since:

As and since are used when the reason is already known to the listener/reader, or when it is not the most important part of the sentence. As - and since - clauses often come at the beginning of sentences. often come at the beginning of sentences.

As it's raining again, we'll have to stay at home.
Since he had not paid his bill, his electricity was cut off.

As - and since - clauses are relatively formal; in an informal style, the same ideas are often expressed with so.
It's raining again, so we'll have to stay at home.

2. because:

Because puts more emphasis on the reason, and most often introduces new information which is not known to the listener/reader.
Because I was ill for six months, I lost my job.

When the reason is the most important part of the sentence, the because - clause usually comes at the end. It can also stand alone. Since and as cannot be used like this.
Why am I leaving? I'm leaving because I'm fed up ! (NOT..... I'm leaving as/since I'm fed up!)
"Why are you laughing? " "Because you look so funny".

A because - clause can be used at the end of a sentence to say how one knows something can be used at the end of a sentence to say how one knows something.
You didn't tell me the truth, because I found the money in your room. ( = .... I know because I found....)

3. for

For introduces new information, but suggests that the reason is given as an afterthought. A for - clause could almost be in brackets. For - clauses never come at the beginning of sentences, and cannot stand alone never come at the beginning of sentences, and cannot stand alone. For, used in this sense, is most common in a formal written style.
I decided to stop and have lunch - for I was feeling hungry.
4. in that

used after a statement to begin to explain in what way it is true
I've been lucky in that I have never had to worry about money.
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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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25 Jun 2014, 01:26
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farhanc85 wrote:
@e-gmat, can you guys help with this question solving it with e-gmat 3 step process.

Hi farhan,
Thank you for the query.

Let's apply e-GMAT 3 step process to solve this question:

The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month.

A. world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month
B. world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival's month
C. world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
D. world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
E. world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival

SENTENCE STRUCTURE

The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world
o in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month.

• This sentence tells us that the Olympic Games helped to keep peace among otherwise fighting states of the Greek World.
o This became possible because a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival. Note that, the sentence does not tell us who proclaimed this truce.

ERROR ANALYSIS

1. The phrase “festival’s month” is not idiomatic. It gives the meaning that the festival possesses the month. When referring to an inanimate object, we must avoid possessive. This expression should be “the month of the festival”.
2. Here, the expression “in that” means “because”. In this case, ‘because’ is preferred since it is more concise and gives the meaning directly. Note that ‘for’, which is used in the correct option, also means because.
Also as the OG says, this two-word expression can be replaced with a word for conciseness.

PoE

A. Incorrect for the reasons stated above.

B. Incorrect.
1. The phrase “festival’s month” is incorrect as explained in the error analysis.
2. The verb-ing modifier “proclaiming” seems to modify the preceding clause. Now, when a verb-ing modifier modifies the preceding clause, it should make sense with the subject of the preceding clause. So, this option indicates that the Olympic Games did the action of “proclaiming a sacred truce”.
However, if we refer back to the meaning analysis it was not clear from the original sentence who proclaimed the sacred truce. The Games themselves could not have proclaimed anything. So, this option does not indicate a logically correct meaning.

C. Incorrect
1. The reference of the pronoun ‘they’ is ambiguous. It can refer to “the pugnacious states” or “the Olympic Games”.
2. The original sentence indicates that the truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival. This meaning is not conveyed by this option.

D. Correct.
This option corrects the idiom error from the original sentence and replaces the phrase “in that” with “for”, making the sentence concise.

E. Incorrect.
This option is very wordy as compared to option A and D. Also, it suggests that the proclamation of the sacred truce was done by the Olympic Games. This is not the intended meaning of the sentence.

Hope this helps!

Regards,
Deepak
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Last edited by egmat on 21 Jul 2014, 22:07, edited 1 time in total.
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12 Jul 2004, 18:29
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Agree with B but just to mention that "proclaiming" is modifying "Olympic Games" because it is the latter which performs the act of proclaiming, not the "peace".
A and D are out because of more wordy passive tense
C) subject-verb agreement problem
E) again, unnecessarily wordy
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03 Nov 2009, 13:11
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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month.
A QUESTION TYPE WHERE MERELY GRAMMAR DOESNOT SUFFICE,UNDERSTANDING THE
INTENTION OF THE QUESTION BECOMES NECESSARY..AND ITS THE MOST DANGEROUS FORM OF SC QUESTION.THE SENTENCE IS TRYING TO STATE THAT THE PPROOF THAT OLYMPIC GAMES HELPED TO KEEP PEACE WAS THE FACT THAT A PEACE TREATY WAS SIGNED.NO CAUSE EFFECT IS MEANT HERE.
(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month
FESTIVALS'S MONTH sounds unidimatic.MONTH OF FESTIVAL is a better usage
(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival’s month
OLYMPIC GAMES CANNOT PROCLAIM ANYTHING
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
FOR HE FESTIVAL MONTH is unidiomatic expression
should be DURING THE MONTH OF THE FESTIVAL
(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
CORRECT
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival
TOO WORDY
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03 Nov 2009, 20:55
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(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month
Festival’s month is awkward
(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival’s month
Festival’s month is awkward. A little ambiguous who is proclaiming is it the Olympic games or the greek world.
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
Ambiguous pronoun “they”. If it were referring to the greek world it should be “it”.
(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
Correct – removes ambiguity and is idiomatic.
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival
Wordy and awkward

sacmanitin – As a general rule active is preferred over passive but I wouldn’t rule something out only on the fact that it is passive.
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Re: Confused with the present participle use. [#permalink]

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22 Sep 2010, 01:34
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I can see why you are getting confused, but just to make sure you understand one thing about the participle
whenever you see a participle separated by a comma then it is an adverb and it is modifying the preceding clause
now, for the participle to be correct:1) It has to make sense with subject(meaning that the subject can do the action, which is portrayed by the participle. 2) It has to modify the verb in the preceding clause in other way make sense with the preceding clause.
for your example: The Olympic Games(subject of the preceding clause) CANNOT do the action of proclaiming only humans can, therefore it is illogical to use the participle in this context.
if you look closely the right answer is passive meaning whoever is responsible for that action is not mentioned in the subject or not important by using the passive we can eliminate any ambiguity about action doer.
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26 Nov 2003, 13:49
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MartinMag wrote:
I think is D.

In C "they" could reference "states" or "Olympic Games".

martin

excellent question, but not quite correct.

olympic games is a "inanimate" proper noun...the pronoun should be "it".

for example, niagara falls ...these proper nouns can only be represented

by it.

try Ukraine.. there is no Ukraines

they

Used to refer to the ones previously mentioned or implied.

Usage Problem. Used to refer to the one previously mentioned or implied, especially as a substitute for generic he: Every person has rights under the law, but they don't always know them. See Usage Note at he1.

Used to refer to people in general.
Used to refer to people in general as seen in a position of authority.
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18 Jul 2005, 10:42
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D is perfect.

"for", a nice conjuction used to show the relationship between 2 clauses.

(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festivalâ€™s month
- in that is wrong usage.
(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festivalâ€™s month
- proclaiming modifying the olympic games.
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
- when, they is wrong usage.
(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival
- weord construction
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12 May 2008, 23:13
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bsd_lover wrote:
Oh really ? In that case I got it right and the OA in gmatter is wrong. the OA I have is C...

What is the Questions number in OG ?

----
edit - FOUND IT !!! its OG #51 --> http://www.manhattangmat.com/forums/og-sc-51-t693.html

YAY .. my SC ability rating rises

OG11
51. The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month.
(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month
(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival's month
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival

Idiom + Rhetorical construction
This sentence depends on using the correct conjunction to join two independent clauses. In that is a conjunction that means inasmuch as; because in that has largely gone out of use, it is considered stilted and overly formal. It also uses two words when one would do. In this sentence, the second clause explains the first one, so the conjunction for, meaning because, is the most appropriate choice for joining the two independent clauses of the compound sentence.
A In that is stilted and overly formal
B It is not clear who would be doing the proclaiming, a clause is preferable to a phrase here
C They is ambiguous, possibly referring to either the states or the Games
D Correct. In this sentence, the conjunction for joins the two clauses correctly and economically.
E Wordy and awkward construction

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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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19 Dec 2012, 23:41
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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world inthat a sacred
truce was proclaimed during the festival's month.
(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month (B) world, proclaiminga sacred truce duringthe
festival's month
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for
the festival month (D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that
was for the month of the festival
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Re: The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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17 Jul 2014, 23:18
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I think the OG's explanation is quite clear.

"This sentence depends on using the correct
conjunction to join two independent clauses. In
that is a conjunction that means inasmuch as;
because in that has largely gone out of use, it is
considered stilted and overly formal. It also uses
two words when one would do. In this sentence,
the second clause explains the fi rst one, so the
conjunction for, meaning because, is the most
appropriate choice for joining the two independent
clauses of the compound sentence. Festival’s month
is an awkward and imprecise use of the possessive;
during the month of the festival is clearer.
A In that is stilted and overly formal.
B It is not clear who would be doing the
proclaiming; a clause is preferable to a
phrase here.
C Th ey is ambiguous, possibly referring to
either the states or the Games. Th e phrase
truce for the festival month loses the sense that
it’s to take place for the duration of the
month.
D Correct. In this sentence, the conjunction
for joins the two clauses correctly and
economically.
E Wordy and awkward construction.
Th e correct answer is D."
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Re: The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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23 Feb 2015, 06:04
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quentin.louviot wrote:
The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month.

A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month - seems worse than D, month of the festival is better than festival's month and "in that" is ugly.
B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival's month - not clear what proclaiming is referring to, the games or the states
C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month - not clear what "they" is referring to
D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival - correct
E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival - on passive voice and wordy.

Ans is D,

Anything else why A is wrong ? i wasn't much inspired ^^

hope it helps !

The reason OG states is: "it is It is not clear who would be doing the proclaiming."

However, I think 'proclaiming' can refer to 'Olympic Games', just as 'bringing' can refer to 'eagles' in question 47 (OG12), in which 'eagles' is the subject of the sentence:

47. Five fledgling sea eagles left their nests in western
Scotland this summer, bringing to 34 the number of
wild birds successfully raised since transplants from
Norway began in 1975.
(A) bringing (correct choice)
(B) and brings
(C) and it brings
(D) and it brought
(E) and brought

If 'bringing' can be used in question 47, then why 'proclaiming' cannot be used in this question?
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Re: The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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26 Feb 2015, 00:07
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VerbalHow wrote:
apolo wrote:
If another modifier (such as 'causing') had been used instead of 'proclaiming', then it would have made sense with 'Olympic Games'?

I believe in that case, it could be correct. Let me make up an example:

Olympic Games have always been a source of phenomenal interest, generating tremendous enthusiasm and enormous competition.

The above sentence should be correct. Any comments?

Yes. This sentence makes sense.
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Re: The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious [#permalink]

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14 Jul 2016, 11:39
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The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month.

(A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival’s month. - Incorrect Unidiomatic
(B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival’s month. Incorrect Unidiomatic, The sentence means that the olympic games are proclaiming.
(C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month. Incorrect - Pronoun Ambiguity.
(D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival. Correct - For = Beacuse
(E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival.Incorrect - The sentence means that the olympic games are proclaiming.
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Re: The Olympic Games - SC [#permalink]

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25 Nov 2003, 22:09
dj wrote:
The Olympic Games helped to keep peace among the pugnacious states of the Greek <world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month>.

A) world in that a sacred truce was proclaimed during the festival's month
B) world, proclaiming a sacred truce during the festival's month
C) world when they proclaimed a sacred truce for the festival month
D) world, for a sacred truce was proclaimed during the month of the festival
E) world by proclamation of a sacred truce that was for the month of the festival

C is best.

in all the others, its not obvious who proclaimed the truce...it could be olympic games or the states.

in C, they refers to the closest noun "states" and clearly indicates that the
states proclaimed the truce.
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25 Nov 2003, 22:25
I afraid that C is not the official choice.

it's D
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26 Nov 2003, 00:21
dj wrote:
I afraid that C is not the official choice.

it's D

and where did you get this SC from

any explanations

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