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This sentence while conveying the meaning is not

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This sentence while conveying the meaning is not [#permalink] New post 01 Feb 2006, 13:04
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This sentence while conveying the meaning is not grammatically right. Just came upon it from an email i recieved.

"I just want to convey that I am open to wherever company XYZ can best utilize my skills, while at the same time ensuring that I have a high learning curve, enriching experience and monetarily satisfied"

No OA for this. Hope the gurus in this forum will chew it up and throw the right sentence.
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Re: SC salary negotiations. [#permalink] New post 01 Feb 2006, 13:20
El Torro wrote:
This sentence while conveying the meaning is not grammatically right. Just came upon it from an email i recieved.

"I just want to convey that I am open to wherever company XYZ can best utilize my skills, while at the same time ensuring that I have a high learning curve, enriching experience and monetarily satisfied"

No OA for this. Hope the gurus in this forum will chew it up and throw the right sentence.


One thing i see is Redundency

While and at the same time both means the same thing. So, "at the same time" can be easily removed.


P.S: I am not a guru :!:
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Re: SC salary negotiations. [#permalink] New post 01 Feb 2006, 13:24
cool_jonny009 wrote:
El Torro wrote:
This sentence while conveying the meaning is not grammatically right. Just came upon it from an email i recieved.

"I just want to convey that I am open to wherever company XYZ can best utilize my skills, while at the same time ensuring that I have a high learning curve, enriching experience and monetarily satisfied"

No OA for this. Hope the gurus in this forum will chew it up and throw the right sentence.


One thing i see is Redundency

While and at the same time both means the same thing. So, "at the same time" can be easily removed.


P.S: I am not a guru :!:


i think i will second jonny... i suggest we remove while also and use "and" .. waiting for the 700s club to answer :lol:

I just want to convey that I am open to wherever company XYZ can best utilize my skills, and I have a high learning curve, enriching experience and monetarily satisfied
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 [#permalink] New post 01 Feb 2006, 14:58
yup you are right "razrulz"

but "and that" will make the sentence || also


I just want to convey that I am open to wherever company XYZ can best utilize my skills, and that I have a high learning curve, enriching experience and monetarily satisfied
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 [#permalink] New post 02 Feb 2006, 04:16
Oh we need ||ism at the end of the sentence...

I just want to convey that I am open to wherever company XYZ can best utilize my skills, while at the same time ensuring that I have a high learning curve, AN enriching experience and monetarily satisfied monetary satisfaction
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 [#permalink] New post 08 Feb 2006, 13:50
just looking at the response. Thanks guys. I could use the corrected form to diplomatically state my demands to my bosses.
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  [#permalink] 08 Feb 2006, 13:50
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This sentence while conveying the meaning is not

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