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To reverse the deterioration of postal- Review Please [#permalink]
17 May 2012, 07:54
" To reverse the deterioration of postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain on the existing system and contributing to improved morale."
The above argument suggests to increase the price of postage stamps to improve the deteriorating postal service. The argument relies on the assumption that price increase will increase the revenues and reduce the volume of mail, resulting in high morale for the staff and reduced strain on the system. I find this argument flawed and far fetched.
The core assumption that increase in price of postage stamps will increase revenues is flawed. Increase in price of postage stamps may force the customers to look for other options such as private courier companies and the consequnce could be the gradual reduction in the number of customers of government postal service. The worst outcome could be that government postal department may have few customers to provide the service for and the department may eventually get shut down or privatized.
The argument also states that reduction in volume of mail, due to reduced no of customers, will reduce the strain on the system. Though this reasoning is correct, the conclusion that it will increase the morale of the staff is unconvincing.educed number of mails may result in absolute no work for many of the postal workers. In effect, the result could be that the morale of the staff may start decreasing, rather than increasing. The dire consequence could be the lay offs of the staff.
To sum up, incresing the price of postage stamps will not help government postal department to restore their services. Instead, the strategies such as new offers to attract more customers, more pay and benefits for the staff, may help the postal department to revive their services to customers.
Re: Can someone please review my AWA essay below ? Thanks a ton! [#permalink]
22 May 2012, 09:20
see, your the final passage where u r concluding the essay is weakening your entire essay, u could have mentioned that in order to strengthen the argument (in place of Instead,)- postal department is not running with the sale of postal stamps alone, it does other activities like recurring deposits, national savings scheme, registered posts,( in case of india) etc., so try to write different areas where u can even increase the content of the essay ( as u were worried about the content of the essay).
u can make it very clear about how reduction in volume of mail can generate more revenue making the essay more appealing ( attractive) to the scorers.
well, u can get a score of 4 out of 6 i feel for this essay. dont worry dude. i am also in the stage of preparation. all the best.
hi guys, if any criticisms or plaudits about my review are very much welcome.
Re: Can someone please review my AWA essay below ? Thanks a ton! [#permalink]
27 May 2012, 08:39
I would also appreciate feedback.
The postal service has recently been in dire straits, a fact widely reported in the mainstream media. Numerous solutions have been proposed to maintain the speed of service and number of branches the current incarnation of the postal service provides. The author of this argument, for example, suggests that raising the price of postage stamps will reverse the deterioration of the postal service by generating larger revenues and reducing the volume of mail, actions which will eliminate the existing strains on the system and improve employee morale. This argument, however, is extremely poorly reasoned. It has a lack of supporting evidence and is filled with questionable premises and assumptions, which considerably weaken the overall argument.
A primary problem with the argument's reasoning is that it relies on questionable premises. The conclusion that raising the price will reverse the deterioration of the postal service relies on several sub-conclusions that operate as premises: the price increase will generate larger revenues and reduce the volume of mail, both of which will thereby eliminate strain on the existing system and improve morale. Two in particular are questionable. The third, that less mail will eliminate the strain on the existing system does not self-evidently seem true without further supporting evidence. The strain on the existing system could very well be relatively independent of the volume of mail. Some hypothesize that the postal system, unlike many other organizations, suffers from a culture of slow work and procrastination, that contribute to strain regardless of the load. The fourth premise is also questionable, that larger revenues with less mail will contribute to improved morale. It is not necessarily the case that morale could be improved by changing volume. It is in fact more likely, based on the evidence generally available, that the real cause of postal worker's low morale is their wages. Lower volume does not change the fact that their wages put them towards the bottom of the American earning spectrum. These questionable premises severely weaken the conclusion of reversing the deterioration of the postal service.
But not only are the premises questionable, the author also makes several leaps, or assumptions, that compromise the integrity of the argument. One glaring assumption is that price increases will generate larger revenues. Revenues are a product of price and quantity. Although price will increase, as the second premise of the argument itself indicates, quantity will decrease. The author fails to provide evidence that the price increase will overwhelm the quantity decrease. There is reason to believe it will be otherwise, because many people in the news media already complain about the price of the postage stamps. Another assumption the author makes is that the price increase will reduce the volume of mail. Although this is likely, this is hardly certain. There exist products for which the demand curve is upward sloping, or as price increases, quantity increases. Moreover, there are also products for which the fixes a price increase allows increases the quality of the product, in which case the demand for the product increases. That may very well be the case for this postal service. That is, if, as the author claims, the strain on the system will erode and employee morale will improve, the product of the postal service itself will likely improve through better and more timely customer experiences. As a result, quantity may go up instead of down. Were quantity to go up again, the strain may be recreated and morale may not increase, thus not stopping the deterioration of the postal service. These unwarranted assumptions compromise the whole argument.
Finally, although the author's claim may be accurate, the way s/he argues it is incredibly weak. Indeed, the author's argument may be strengthened in several ways. First and foremost the identified questionable premises could be provided supporting evidence. That is, for example, the author could provide evidence that there exists strain on the postal service due to a high volume of mail now, thus supporting the premise that reducing the quantity of mail will eliminate strains in the system. Similarly, the author could bridge the gap of the identified questionable assumptions. For instance, the author could make the claim that an increased price would decrease quantity much stronger by providing evidence from a consumer survey confirming that consumers would use the postal service less often if it were more expensive. But beyond the questionable premises and assumptions, the author could also do a stronger job of identifying the causes of the deterioration of the postal service. Simply listing off positive effects of a price increase does not constitute a compelling case to increase the price of the postal service's single product. The areas of improval, like employee morale for instance, could potentially be described as the causes of the deterioration of the postal service. Were the author to do this, and show that a price increase addresses the root causes of the deterioration, s/he would have a much stronger claim to having had argued that a price increase would reverse the deterioration of the postal service. With this changes, the author's line of reasoning may have been much more logically sound and persuasive.
This argument's reasoning was quite weak. It is filled with questionable premises, for example that lower volume would eliminate strains in the system or improve employee morale, questionable assumptions, for example that the price increase will increase revenues or decrease quantity, and unnecessarily weak argumentation, including a lack of supporting evidence where it was needed. The claim might be true with more logical, sounder reasoning. Given the importance of the postal service to freedom, commerce, and business, having a more well reasoned discussion of potential solutions would be extremely beneficial to the fate of America.
Re: To reverse the deterioration of postal- Review Please [#permalink]
05 Mar 2013, 04:33
Please review my essay as well.. Thanks a ton in advance!
In this argument the author concludes that increasing the price of postage stamps will help in reversing the deterioration of the postal services. The argument is based on the premise that increased price will generate larger revenues and lesser work load by reducing volume of mail, thus eliminating the strain on the existing system. While the argument does have some merit, it omits some important concerns which must be addressed to substantiate the argument. The statement that raising the price of postage stamp will lower the work load, contributing to improved morale and generate larger revenues, does not constitute a logical argument in favor of the conclusion that increasing prices will reverse the deterioration of the postal service. It is based on two underlying assumption (1) the reason for the low morale and hence the deterioration of the postal service is the high volume of mail and (2) increasing prices will generate larger revenues.
First, the argument assumes that the deterioration of postal services can be reversed by improving the morale and eliminating the strain on the existing system. This assumption is based on the logic that the reason for the deterioration is work overload on the system. It fails to address the other possible reasons of deterioration of services such as low work satisfaction among postal staff, poor management, customers shifting to alternate communication methods i.e. e-mails, telephone calls etc. These reasons must be addressed in order to substantiate the claim that work overload and poor revenues are the only reason for lower morale and service deterioration.
Second, the argument suggests that increasing the price will generate larger revenues which contradicts its own statement that the volume will reduce and hence the revenues might not increase. Moreover, high price of postage stamps will encourage consumers to switch to other methods of shipping such as private courier, which is more reliable that postal service. It will hamper the revenue of post office rather than generating more revenue. Since, the postal services are already deteriorated, increase in price will not be justified to consumers and hence increased revenues will not be reflected at least in the short term. Even if the revenues are increased, the money management at the postal department should also be considered to address the problem at hand.
In conclusion, the argument leaves out several key issues, so it is not sound and persuasive. If it included the items discussed above instead of solely establishing one cause and effect relationship between price of postal stamps and the quality of postal service, it would have been more thorough and convincing. The evidence in support of the conclusion do little to prove the conclusion. The author could bolster the claim by evaluating more reasons for the deterioration of the service and presenting solutions to eliminate those reasons.
Re: To reverse the deterioration of postal- Review Please
05 Mar 2013, 04:33