What score would you give? (Should I buy GMATwrite?) : Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)
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What score would you give? (Should I buy GMATwrite?)

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Joined: 17 Oct 2009
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10 Jan 2010, 03:43
Analysis of an issue

Quote:
ESSAY QUESTION:

"Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

Unlike a decade ago, children nowadays spend their days behind computers, television and other (non-)digital enterntainment. Generally this enterntainment does not entail outdoor activities. Many parents, organizations and other involved parties have critisized not only the change in entertainment experience but also the content of the available entertainment. They ask: is this content suitable for young consumers and who is to hold responsible for the content exposure by children?

I agree with the author of the argument that children nowadays have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Not only can they choose from all the traditional activities such as building huts, but they can also choose to play war games online on the home computers, computers that might not be monitored by their parents. The author believes that the parent can't be aware of all these options. This is however contrary to my believes. Government and other child related organizations have published and continue to publish a variety of information on current (digital) entertainment. Parents can and should therefore be aware of all the options available. In addition parents should educate themselves on how to prevent their children from access to unsuitable entertainment.

The author's conclusion that it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers is to me rather unfair. Although I believe that media should take part in the total responsibility, I also believe that both parents and government should share in the total responsibility. This total responsibility can be illustrated by a real life example. A television show for example, made for an adult audience can only be kept away from children if parents, government and entertainment media share the responsibility among them. Firstly, the government could develop laws that prohibit adult television shows at certain hours of the day. Secondly the entertainment media should obey these laws by hosting all adult television shows late in the evening. Lastly, parents should ensure that their children are not watching television late in the evening.

To conclude, yes children today have access to a wide range of entertainment. Nonetheless, parents have a responsibility to be aware of all the options. Moreover, parents need to actively protect their children from the wrong kind of entertainment. This responsibility in addition should be shared by the government, the parents and the entertainment media.

Analysis of an Argument:

Quote:
ESSAY QUESTION:

The following appeared in an article in a medical journal:
"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

According to the author of the statement, the major increase in adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition. This according to the author is the government's lack of control over the quality of foods available at low prices. She further concludes that the government could stop the increase in adult-onset diabetes by forcing manufacturers to include more vitamins and minerals in their products. Below an anlysis is provided of why this argument is weak.

First, the author makes the reader assume that the only reason adult-onset diabetes increased in the last decade is due to poor nutrition. This assumption however is not subsantiated by any scientific research figures. Moreover, the significant increase might have been caused by a lack of physical activity for example. Furthermore, the phrase "poor nutrition" in itself is ambigious. This ambigiouty could have been avoided by explaining what "poor nutrition" in this particular case means.

Second, the author blaims the government for the significant increase in adult-onset diabetes. She implies that the government should control the quality of foods available at low prices. Firstly the author makes the reader assume that the foods now available at low prices are of questionable quality. In relation with the aforementioned "poor nutrition", one would mistakenly conclude that vegetables and fruits that are relatively low priced are of bad quality. The author would have made the argument more logical if she explained which foods increase adult-onset diabetes. Secondly the author holds the government responsible for the freedom of choice consumers have. She would have been more persuasive if she argued that the government could support healthy food consumption by subsidizing it rather than forbidding poor foo.

Furthermore, the author concludes that the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly if food included more vitamins and minerals. This conclusion would have been strengthened if she explained that not only should the food include more vitamins and minerals but also less bad ingredients, because there are many products that contain the right vitamins and minerals but at the same time help develop adult-onset diabetes.

All with all the author's argument lacks the necessary logic and is therefore not persuasive. She could have improved the argument by providing supporting data such as scientific research research. Also she could have explained what "poor nutrition" means in this particular case. Since the author has not done any of these things, the argument is poor reasoned.

Really hope hearing from you :D
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Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 1473
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10 Jan 2010, 12:19
MathFear wrote:
Analysis of an issue

Quote:
ESSAY QUESTION:

"Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

Unlike a decade ago, children nowadays spend their days behind computers, television and other (non-)digital enterntainment. Generally this enterntainment does not entail outdoor activities. Many parents, organizations and other involved parties have critisized not only the change in entertainment experience but also the content of the available entertainment. They ask: is this content suitable for young consumers and who is to hold responsible for the content exposure by children?

I agree with the author of the argument that children nowadays have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Not only can they choose from all the traditional activities such as building huts, but they can also choose to play war games online on the home computers, computers that might not be monitored by their parents. The author believes that the parent can't be aware of all these options. This is however contrary to my believes. Government and other child related organizations have published and continue to publish a variety of information on current (digital) entertainment. Parents can and should therefore be aware of all the options available. In addition parents should educate themselves on how to prevent their children from access to unsuitable entertainment.

The author's conclusion that it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers is to me rather unfair. Although I believe that media should take part in the total responsibility, I also believe that both parents and government should share in the total responsibility. This total responsibility can be illustrated by a real life example. A television show for example, made for an adult audience can only be kept away from children if parents, government and entertainment media share the responsibility among them. Firstly, the government could develop laws that prohibit adult television shows at certain hours of the day. Secondly the entertainment media should obey these laws by hosting all adult television shows late in the evening. Lastly, parents should ensure that their children are not watching television late in the evening.

To conclude, yes children today have access to a wide range of entertainment. Nonetheless, parents have a responsibility to be aware of all the options. Moreover, parents need to actively protect their children from the wrong kind of entertainment. This responsibility in addition should be shared by the government, the parents and the entertainment media.

Analysis of an Argument:

Quote:
ESSAY QUESTION:

The following appeared in an article in a medical journal:
"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

According to the author of the statement, the major increase in adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition. This according to the author is the government's lack of control over the quality of foods available at low prices. She further concludes that the government could stop the increase in adult-onset diabetes by forcing manufacturers to include more vitamins and minerals in their products. Below an anlysis is provided of why this argument is weak.

First, the author makes the reader assume that the only reason adult-onset diabetes increased in the last decade is due to poor nutrition. This assumption however is not subsantiated by any scientific research figures. Moreover, the significant increase might have been caused by a lack of physical activity for example. Furthermore, the phrase "poor nutrition" in itself is ambigious. This ambigiouty could have been avoided by explaining what "poor nutrition" in this particular case means.

Second, the author blaims the government for the significant increase in adult-onset diabetes. She implies that the government should control the quality of foods available at low prices. Firstly the author makes the reader assume that the foods now available at low prices are of questionable quality. In relation with the aforementioned "poor nutrition", one would mistakenly conclude that vegetables and fruits that are relatively low priced are of bad quality. The author would have made the argument more logical if she explained which foods increase adult-onset diabetes. Secondly the author holds the government responsible for the freedom of choice consumers have. She would have been more persuasive if she argued that the government could support healthy food consumption by subsidizing it rather than forbidding poor foo.

Furthermore, the author concludes that the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly if food included more vitamins and minerals. This conclusion would have been strengthened if she explained that not only should the food include more vitamins and minerals but also less bad ingredients, because there are many products that contain the right vitamins and minerals but at the same time help develop adult-onset diabetes.

All with all the author's argument lacks the necessary logic and is therefore not persuasive. She could have improved the argument by providing supporting data such as scientific research research. Also she could have explained what "poor nutrition" means in this particular case. Since the author has not done any of these things, the argument is poor reasoned.

Really hope hearing from you :D

You need to state your position in the 1st paragraph of both essays and the reasons. In the 1st topic, I can't tell how the first paragraph relates to the essay. I felt like they were two different essays.
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22 Feb 2010, 22:52
i give them a 4.5 and a 5.5, respectively
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Location: United States (NC)
Concentration: Strategy, Finance
Schools: UNC (Kenan-Flagler) - Class of 2013
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23 Feb 2010, 19:55
how did you get your essay answer? is there a way to get what you wrote from the exam? thanks
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Re: What score would you give? (Should I buy GMATwrite?)   [#permalink] 23 Feb 2010, 19:55
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