When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted : GMAT Sentence Correction (SC)
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# When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted

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06 Apr 2007, 00:48
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

b) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

c) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Wowen's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

d) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.

e) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
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06 Apr 2007, 01:04
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.
------------when drafting...included in...was a call... Awkward Eliminate-----

b) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.
------------Introduces Modifier error, Changes Meaning eliminate-----

c) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Wowen's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.
-- by far the best, lets check rest, but "had been" is passive ---------

d) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.
--------- call that as adopted --- changes meaning -- wrong ----

e) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
----------- Correct ----------------
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06 Apr 2007, 07:14
a) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.
********awkward construction****
b) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.
*****distorts the meaning******
c) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Wowen's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

***Passive voice not needed here **************

d) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.
********awkward construction****
e) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

*******Correct **********
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06 Apr 2007, 07:25
hmm..i am stuck between C and E..

I agree C is passive while E is active therefore I will go with E..
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06 Apr 2007, 15:19
Just to clarify, is C grammatically correct, but not the best answer ? Or is the use of past and past perfect in C incorrect ?
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Re: SC: Declaration of Sentiments [#permalink]

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06 Apr 2007, 17:18
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. --Who drafting, "it"?

b) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. --ECS wrote the Convention?

c) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Wowen's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

d) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.

e) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. --Correct
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10 Apr 2007, 04:16
OA is E
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Re: SC: Declaration of Sentiments [#permalink]

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22 Oct 2007, 05:56
I know its OA is E because this is prep question. However, I like C.

In E, it is active and looks clean, but E can be understood that Elizabeth drafted the declaration after it was adopted in the convention. Logically sounds wrong!!!

The event squence should be
i) Elizabeth drafted the declaration and included a call for the female franchisement in the declaration

ii) Then, the declaration could be adopted in the convention.

So, my saying is, even though C is using passive voice, logical meaning is over E.

This is my thinking.
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Re: SC: Declaration of Sentiments [#permalink]

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22 Oct 2007, 08:07
faifai0714 wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

b) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

c) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Wowen's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

d) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.

e) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
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Going for C...the two things happened in past and uses the right past participle

Editing: See the OA is E - Does C have any grammatical errors apart from being passive???
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Re: SC: Declaration of Sentiments [#permalink]

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22 Oct 2007, 17:39
faifai0714 wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Senaca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

b) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

c) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Wowen's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

d) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.

e) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
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Def. E.

Everything else has a misplaced modifier except C and E.

However "it" in C is ambigious. I held on to this until I saw E, which fixes the modifier error and clearly states that SHE included it.
Re: SC: Declaration of Sentiments   [#permalink] 22 Oct 2007, 17:39
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