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Which one is grammatically correct?

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Director
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
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Which one is grammatically correct? [#permalink]

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16 Oct 2007, 20:52
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

or

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

I figure I'll ask the pros on here. Thanks.
Director
Joined: 18 Sep 2006
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Re: Which one is grammatically correct? [#permalink]

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16 Oct 2007, 21:03
gmatclb wrote:
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

or

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

I figure I'll ask the pros on here. Thanks.

i dont think the second clause connects correctly with the first one. the subject of first clause is feedback, i dont think you are saying the feedback included some that never knew etc. What I think you are trying to say is:

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including surprise that a macro could perform this function.

i dont like that one either, i have to think about it more
Manager
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Re: Which one is grammatically correct? [#permalink]

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16 Oct 2007, 21:13
gmatclb wrote:
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

or

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

I figure I'll ask the pros on here. Thanks.

This is a classic case of a misplaced modified (darn GMAT has scarred me for life ). I think your intention is to modify colleagues, so you should restructure the phrase have colleagues right before the modifying phrase.

edit - the forum is pretty strict on censoring the other word for darn .
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16 Oct 2007, 21:15
It's definitely not the first one b/c the two portions of a sentence with a semicolon must be able to stand by itself.

As dabots said, the "including" portion is misplaced, so the second sentence is incorrect as well. But the first sentence is blatantly wrong.
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Re: Which one is grammatically correct? [#permalink]

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16 Oct 2007, 21:19
forcefeed wrote:
gmatclb wrote:
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

or

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

Something like:
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; some of them even never knew a macro could perform this function.
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16 Oct 2007, 21:23

I received tremendous feedback from my colleagues including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

BTW, sorry to the mods (basically all the members) for posting this question here. I just need some quick help.
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16 Oct 2007, 21:37
gmatclb wrote:

I received tremendous feedback from my colleagues including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

BTW, sorry to the mods (basically all the members) for posting this question here. I just need some quick help.

gmatclb,

I'm sure you remember from the 07 applicants, the bschool application forum basically turns into a community where the members are so comfortable with each other that we post pretty much anything in this forum.

As for the sentence, not to be too critical and not knowing the full context, it still seems a bit bulky and awkward. However, it is the best of all the options here thus far.

Sometimes the best way to convey the message is not to change the grammar/word placement, but the words themselves.

Last edited by kidderek on 18 Oct 2007, 06:11, edited 1 time in total.
Director
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17 Oct 2007, 03:40
Isn't this a good place to use "whom"? I would have said it like this:

I received tremendous feedback from my colleagues, some of whom had not even known a macro could perform this function.
VP
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Re: Which one is grammatically correct? [#permalink]

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17 Oct 2007, 04:44
gmatclb wrote:
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

or

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.

I figure I'll ask the pros on here. Thanks.

I'd modify it as follows:
I received tremendous (incredible, enthusiastic, whatever...) feedback from my colleagues. Some of them couldn't even imagine a macro performing that function.
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Re: Which one is grammatically correct? [#permalink]

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17 Oct 2007, 05:07
Without knowing the story, I actually had a different reaction. My inclination was to point out that "including some that never knew a macro could perform this function" probably doesn't add anything really important that wouldn't already be conveyed in: "The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible".

That said, if you keep both, I'd go with helg's two sentence structure.
Re: Which one is grammatically correct?   [#permalink] 17 Oct 2007, 05:07
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