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Would you please check my essay and rate a score?

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Would you please check my essay and rate a score? [#permalink] New post 17 Feb 2013, 18:50
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics.

Nowadays education is important for students and they definitively think about what they want to achieve their goals and what kind of courses appropriate for them. Some people want students to study history and literature more momentous than science and mathematics. Nevertheless, I disagree with this statement because studying history and literature is less interesting and important than studying the others. Furthermore, the latter subjects provide the students to have great opportunities to apply for companies with good positions which pay a high salary for the applicants.
First of all, studying mathematics and science is more interesting and challenging than studying history and literature. This purpose is because students who study the former focus on how to solve the problems and the learners understand the solution coherently; however, other students have to remember the latter subjects from beginning to ending of events in the past. For example, if a student studies history, he/she has to memorize every details how to relate the old history with what it happened. To remember the situations is very difficult to recall if the student is taking exams. Moreover, history books contain a large number of words and they can make the reader take a nap. On the other hand, in my experience, I liked studying mathematics and science because calculating and solving problems are easy methods to make solutions, and these subjects explained how to connect between them coherently – not to memorize every formula and theory.
Second, studying history and literature is less important than studying mathematics and science. This reason is because students studying the latter subjects always consolidate modern technology in the future, but, in fact, the other students occasionally combine history with literature to improve or change laws, policies and so forth. For instance, if a science and mathematics student has a basic understanding of those subjects, he/she will be able to integrate both to build a project such as designing a robot as a housekeeper automaton. Another example is cell phones which are always being developed every day that the old phones limited to functions of calling and sending. Nevertheless, nowadays every function – calling, texting messages, camera, and connecting internet – amalgamates into contemporary phones: all in one. For instance, if a student understands and remembers what he/she has learnt about history, he/she may not concentrate on modifying old social or politic systems. In my opinion, changing the systems may make the student frustrated of seeing less opportunity to improve the policies.
Finally, if students want to work in companies or factories that pay good salaries and provide high positions, they had better study mathematics and science to become engineers, doctors, scientists and so forth more than study history and literature. This objective is because nowadays many companies and factories are looking for applicants who have recently completed related subjects – mathematics and science – and gotten degrees of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. As the result, the applicants will be hired more quickly than others who don’t have these subjects. Furthermore, most factories provide engineers and scientists to get salaries higher than historicists and lawyers. In fact, modern economics depend on the factories to develop each country.
Overall, studying mathematics and science is more beneficial, practical, and interesting than others. Additionally, applicants who are scientists, doctor, and engineers will get jobs quickly than others. I believe many students will study mathematics and science and these subjects will boom than the others. The more and more students learn science and mathematics, the more and more technologies they make.
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Re: Would you please check my essay and rate a score? [#permalink] New post 18 Feb 2013, 18:39
supachan wrote:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics.

Nowadays education is important for students and they definitively think about what they want to achieve their goals and what kind of courses appropriate for them. Some people want students to study history and literature more momentous than science and mathematics. Nevertheless, I disagree with this statement because studying history and literature is less interesting and important than studying the others. Furthermore, the latter subjects provide the students to have great opportunities to apply for companies with good positions which pay a high salary for the applicants.
First of all, studying mathematics and science is more interesting and challenging than studying history and literature. This purpose is because students who study the former focus on how to solve the problems and the learners understand the solution coherently; however, other students have to remember the latter subjects from beginning to ending of events in the past. For example, if a student studies history, he/she has to memorize every details how to relate the old history with what it happened. To remember the situations is very difficult to recall if the student is taking exams. Moreover, history books contain a large number of words and they can make the reader take a nap. On the other hand, in my experience, I liked studying mathematics and science because calculating and solving problems are easy methods to make solutions, and these subjects explained how to connect between them coherently – not to memorize every formula and theory.
Second, studying history and literature is less important than studying mathematics and science. This reason is because students studying the latter subjects always consolidate modern technology in the future, but, in fact, the other students occasionally combine history with literature to improve or change laws, policies and so forth. For instance, if a science and mathematics student has a basic understanding of those subjects, he/she will be able to integrate both to build a project such as designing a robot as a housekeeper automaton. Another example is cell phones which are always being developed every day that the old phones limited to functions of calling and sending. Nevertheless, nowadays every function – calling, texting messages, camera, and connecting internet – amalgamates into contemporary phones: all in one. For instance, if a student understands and remembers what he/she has learnt about history, he/she may not concentrate on modifying old social or politic systems. In my opinion, changing the systems may make the student frustrated of seeing less opportunity to improve the policies.
Finally, if students want to work in companies or factories that pay good salaries and provide high positions, they had better study mathematics and science to become engineers, doctors, scientists and so forth more than study history and literature. This objective is because nowadays many companies and factories are looking for applicants who have recently completed related subjects – mathematics and science – and gotten degrees of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. As the result, the applicants will be hired more quickly than others who don’t have these subjects. Furthermore, most factories provide engineers and scientists to get salaries higher than historicists and lawyers. In fact, modern economics depend on the factories to develop each country.
Overall, studying mathematics and science is more beneficial, practical, and interesting than others. Additionally, applicants who are scientists, doctor, and engineers will get jobs quickly than others. I believe many students will study mathematics and science and these subjects will boom than the others. The more and more students learn science and mathematics, the more and more technologies they make.


What is your mother tongue?
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Re: Would you please check my essay and rate a score? [#permalink] New post 18 Feb 2013, 19:24
What is your mother tongue?[/quote]

My native speaker is Thai.
Re: Would you please check my essay and rate a score?   [#permalink] 18 Feb 2013, 19:24
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