One of the most common pitfalls of Admission essays is the writers\u2019 inability to use specific examples or details and share stories that are filled with vague generalities. To be able to make sense of your story and appreciate it as well, the reader needs to know the specifics of your story. Please note that the members of the Admission committee \u00a0have to read hundreds of essays for evaluating candidacy of their prospective students, so if you want your stories to \u2018stick\u2019 in their minds, your writing needs to be succinct, articulate, and specific. By providing specific examples\/details about \u2018what\u2019 \u2018why \u2018where\u2019 and \u2018when\u2019 of your experience and by sharing your thought process at that time, you can turn your stories into memorable essays.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s look at some examples to understand how specific details can turn around an essay.<\/p>\n
My family is unique because my parents are\u00a0<\/i> spiritual leaders to point me the way to victory. My parents were growing in poor family. They did not have enough resource to chase their dreams. Furthermore, the most important investment is that they made countless sacrifices to foster my growing<\/i>.<\/p>\n
The above para fails to resonate with the reader because it does\u2018t \u00a0provide any specifics about the place ( country, city) where the writer lived with his family and why they lacked resources.<\/ins><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/ins> Now compare it with \u00a0the revised version:<\/p>\n Growing up in Shanghai, China, I have seen my parents working double shifts to provide me a better living. I am the only child of my parents. My parents grew up in poor families, so they did not have enough resources to afford college education. However, they made countless sacrifices to\u00a0 <\/i>\u00a0foster my growing <\/i>and build a good life for themselves and for me.<\/i><\/p>\n Let\u2019s take a look at another example:<\/p>\n My education, experience and accomplishments till date are in alignment with my vision as I am unique to have a strong academic and professional background. From a young age, I made achievements beyond those of my peers. <\/ins>My <\/ins>consistently best performance in high-school and under-graduation and\u00a0 \u00a0service in renowned corporations made me stand out from the rest of the crowd.With the perfect combination of strong technical expertise and innovative ideas of an entrepreneur, \u00a0I can differentiate myself from other consultants.<\/em><\/p>\n Most of the details in the above example lack specifics about the applicant eg. \u201a\u2018strong academic and professional background\u2018 \u2018achievements beyond peers\u2018,consistently best performance\u2018 , renowned corporations<\/i>\u2018\u00a0 etc. Also, the writer baosts of being\u2018 unique<\/i>\u2018 and of being able to differentiate<\/i> himself from other consultants <\/i>. I suggest that\u00a0 you follow \u00a0the principle of \u2018show not tell\u2019 , so <\/i>your actions and stories will showcase you as a \u2018unique candidate\u2019<\/i>, and you will not \u00a0need to 'tell' about them . That is, your professional career and\u00a0 accomplishments will vouch for you and set you apart from the\u00a0 crowd.<\/p>\n Let\u2018s look at the revised version now.<\/p>\n My education, experience and accomplishments till date are in alignment with my vision as <\/i>I have a strong academic and professional background. I was among the top 2% of the students in high school and under-graduation<\/i> and one of the nine candidates selected by Infosys from 1000+ candidates.<\/i> I was also recognized as the \u2018Employee of the Year\u2019 and \u2018Best Team Player during my tenure.<\/i><\/p>\n The above example provides specific information about the candidate\u2018s strong academic and professional background,so he\/ she doesn\u2019t need to proclaim it any more.<\/i><\/p>\n To sum up, one for the key components to make your stories compelling is to make sure to be specific about each and every tiny detail of your story.<\/p>\n Stay Tuned for Tip# 8 of the story development process next week J<\/span><\/p>\n For more MBA articles, visit myEssayReview<\/a> blog.<\/p>\nGood Example:<\/h2>\n
Not So Good Example:<\/h2>\n
\u00a0Good Example:<\/h2>\n