{"id":42049,"date":"2018-06-11T06:00:51","date_gmt":"2018-06-11T13:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/?p=42049"},"modified":"2018-06-07T01:32:03","modified_gmt":"2018-06-07T08:32:03","slug":"4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story-2\/","title":{"rendered":"4 More Elements to Telling an Attention-Grabbing Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-42050\" src=\"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story.jpg\" alt=\"4 more elements to telling an attention-grabbing story\" width=\"700\" height=\"350\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story.jpg 2844w, https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story-768x384.jpg 768w, https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/4-more-elements-to-telling-an-attention-grabbing-story-1024x512.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In our <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.accepted.com\/5-elements-telling-attention-grabbing-story\/\">last post<\/a>, we illustrated 5 key story elements with these opening application essay lines:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> The moment I found the lump, I suspected my life was about to change \u2013 in a big way. It was mid-May 2011. I was a busy consultant in McKinsey\u2019s Chicago office, the proud father of a boy about to turn one, and a generally happy guy in his mid-20s.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> It was tempting to wish the lump would just go away, and for a few days that was my strategy. I didn\u2019t even tell my wife. But soon I recognized that knowledge is power, and made an appointment with my doctor. Within a week I had a diagnosis: cancer.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>These seven lines contain the first 5 of our important story elements:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>\u2022 Storytelling element #1:<\/strong> A killer opening \u2013 entering the story in the middle of an intense scene<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>\u2022 Storytelling element #2:<\/strong> Context \u2013 mid-20s consultant, Chicago, 2011<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>\u2022 Storytelling element #3:<\/strong> Stakes \u2013 life and death<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>\u2022 Storytelling element #4:<\/strong> Obstacles \u2013 cancer<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>\u2022 Storytelling element #5:<\/strong> Character \u2013 fear and determination<\/p>\n<p>You should include these key elements in all your story-based essays. Note that this does not mean your stories need to be as life changing as the one in our example; we\u2019re talking about structure and storytelling technique here.<\/p>\n<p>And now we\u2019ll jump into the next 4 of our key storytelling elements:<\/p>\n<p><strong> Storytelling element #6: Adding a twist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So what happens next in our tale? (Incidentally, a well-told story uses these elements to make readers ask that question again and again, pulling them through the story.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> Once I got past the initial shock, I discovered an unexpected challenge: choosing among major surgery, two rounds of chemotherapy, and \u201csurveillance\u201d (i.e., regular testing to see if the cancer was spreading). The options had the exact same survival rate (very high), but very different side-effect profiles. For example, the surgery was associated with potential nerve damage, while the chemo could have resulted in lower lung capacity.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This part of our story includes a twist and further obstacles. Twists, or surprise turns in stories \u2013 in this case, the challenge of choosing treatment \u2013 are not essential for grad school essays, but they can certainly make them more engaging: a teammate with a secret, a client\u2019s abrupt shift in expectations, etc. In this story, the unexpected challenge also represented <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.accepted.com\/write-about-overcoming-challenges-without-sounding-like-a-whiner\/\">an obstacle<\/a>, in that our courageous subject had to choose from three very different treatments with similar levels of effectiveness.<\/p>\n<p><strong> Storytelling element #7: Detailing the process<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what happened next:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> It was time for some deep research: with my wife\u2019s help and inputs from my oncologist and other doctors, I pored over journal articles and other materials to understand my treatment options and their risks. For example, we learned that the surveillance course could take over five years before one could consider themselves cancer-free.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Here we have more evidence of character (how our guy took a methodical approach, rather than just picking a treatment impulsively or based on one doctor\u2019s opinion), along with process, or the exact steps he took to approach the obstacle. Too many applicants leave out their process, skipping from \u201cMy team faced several major hurdles\u201d to \u201cThe client loved our solution, and I got a raise.\u201d You need to tell the adcom what you did, how you did it, and ideally how you engaged others to overcome the challenge as well. Even our cancer story here includes a team element (the wife and doctors).<\/p>\n<p><strong> Storytelling elements #8 and #9: Sharing the outcome AND Talking about lessons learned<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> After weeks of research and deliberation, I opted for two rounds of outpatient chemotherapy. I said goodbye to my hair and hello to needles and nausea. The first week went well. But as I neared the second, my doctor called: the chemo had pushed my white blood cell count too low, compromising my immune system. I would have to wait. For two weeks I avoided raw fruit and vegetables and stayed inside as much as possible. My white blood cell count rose, and I completed the second week of chemo.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> Now, over eight years later, I\u2019m considered cured, a survivor. The only physical residue of my treatment is slightly wavier hair. But the experience reinforced the importance of a proactive approach (I found out most men wait over six months to get lumps checked), of careful due diligence in health and other matters, and of never giving up. I carry those lessons into everything I do. So I was right: the lump changed my life in a big way; but I never could have guessed how positive those changes would be.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The last part of our story brings more process (how our survivor made a decision) and another twist (his low white blood cell count), along with the <em>outcome and lessons learned<\/em>. These last two elements typically tie together: the outcome (surviving cancer) reinforced multiple lessons, as noted above. It\u2019s easy to spend too little (i.e., none) or too much (i.e., paragraphs) time on lessons learned; generally 1-3 lines gets the job done.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s also always recommended to wrap up your story by returning to your opening, to end with a <em>killer ending<\/em> with a broader theme or key realization or glimpse of the future.<\/p>\n<p>Our story is just over 400 words, but it has all the important elements.<\/p>\n<p><strong> Do you need help writing your attention-grabbing story? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.accepted.com\/services\">Check out our 1-on-1 services<\/a> for more information on how we can help you use story elements to write effective essays.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/reports.accepted.com\/from-example-to-exemplary-guide\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-40026\" src=\"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Example-to-exemplary.jpg\" alt=\"Example to Exemplary\" width=\"700\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Example-to-exemplary.jpg 600w, https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Example-to-exemplary-300x100.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.accepted.com\/services\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36579 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Accepted-New-MBA-Sig.png\" alt=\"Get accepted!\" width=\"700\" height=\"93\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Accepted-New-MBA-Sig.png 700w, https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Accepted-New-MBA-Sig-300x40.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Related Resources:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\u2022 <a href=\"https:\/\/reports.accepted.com\/five-fatal-flaws-grad-school-statement-of-purpose\">5 Fatal Flaws to Avoid in Your Statement of Purpose<\/a>, a free guide<br \/>\n\u2022 <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.accepted.com\/showing-strengths-in-application-essays\/\">3 Tips for Highlighting Your Strengths in Your Application Essays<\/a><br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/blog.accepted.com\/2015\/10\/18\/how-personal-is-too-personal-2\/\">How Personal is Too Personal?<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.accepted.com\/4-elements-telling-attention-grabbing-story\/\">This article<\/a> originally appeared on <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.accepted.com\/\">blog.accepted.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Applying to a top b-school? The talented folks at Accepted have helped hundreds of applicants get accepted to their dream programs. Whether you are figuring out where to apply, writing your application essays, or prepping for your interviews, we are just a call (or click) away.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Contact us, and get matched up with the consultant who will <a href=\"https:\/\/hubs.ly\/H01gxJF0\">help you get accepted<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In our last post, we illustrated 5 key story elements with these opening application essay lines: The moment I found the lump, I suspected my life was about to change&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,939,775,113,243],"tags":[1819,455,87],"class_list":["post-42049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mba","category-accepted","category-admission-consultants","category-applications","category-blog","tag-crafting-your-story","tag-from-example-to-exemplary","tag-personal-statement","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42049"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42049\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42051,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42049\/revisions\/42051"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}