{"id":7609,"date":"2011-07-03T09:37:51","date_gmt":"2011-07-03T17:37:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/?p=7609"},"modified":"2011-06-17T11:43:44","modified_gmt":"2011-06-17T19:43:44","slug":"7-types-of-b-s-that-wont-work-on-your-b-school-essay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/7-types-of-b-s-that-wont-work-on-your-b-school-essay\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Types of B.S. That Won&#8217;t Work on Your B-School Essay"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The  business school application essay is quite a different beast from the  academic essay, the creative memoir, and the informal blog post. It can  be difficult to know how to approach it. The prompts are simple and yet  daunting. In trying to showcase your talents, you may be tempted to  communicate in a way that actually works against you -- that sounds  trite, awkward, or boastful.<\/p>\n<p>So how can you convey your strengths with  confidence while sounding authentic and memorable?<\/p>\n<p>Here's  a start -- steer clear of these cliched lines and bad writing habits, and  you\u2019ll be well on your way to a compelling application.<\/p>\n<h3>1. Copy and pasting paragraphs from your econ or finance final paper.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong> <em>\u201cThe  negative correlation between the S&amp;P 500 and the VIX that typically  exists broke down on Friday June 23rd, as the former tumbled 0.97%  while the latter fell 0.77%.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Applying to business school may make you feel the need to impress admissions officers with high-level ideas and specialized industry knowledge. But the purpose of your essays is not to display your academic and industry knowledge. The admissions committee will already have your GMAT score, transcript, and resume on file. Instead, the essay is a chance to reveal your character, your thought and action process, what makes you \u201ctick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Embrace the challenge of this blank space! Don\u2019t copy and paste from anything -- not your econ final paper, your undergrad thesis or your weekly market commentary for work. When the rest of your life (future  opportunities, future network) hinges partially on this chunk of words, you owe it to yourself to draft something fresh.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> If the prospect of writing 750 words about yourself is daunting, try a  single paragraph or a single line. Once you have a few sentences down,  the rest will flow naturally.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Claiming you pulled off a project of enormous magnitude at work when it was obviously a team effort.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIn my job as a first-year investment banking analyst, I was single-handedly responsible for LinkedIn's IPO.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Nothing looks as bad as puffing up one\u2019s credentials in a flagrant way. Admissions officers are seasoned professionals; don\u2019t try to pull anything past them. Instead of embellishing your successes, use the essay as an opportunity to reflect upon them and discuss how they relate to your future goals.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> Think of more subtle ways to impress the admissions committee. Describe  a complex problem you tackled at work, for instance. This will not only  display your problem solving skills but also show the adcom that you have been entrusted with significant responsibility.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Using generic language from the school website.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong><em> \u201cI  am applying to Stanford GSB because it will help me develop leadership  skills that will enable me to change lives, change organizations, and  change the world.\u201d (From the school website: \u201cAt the Stanford Graduate  School of Business, we believe management is a noble calling\u2014one that  can change lives, change organizations, and change the world.\u201d)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You may think there is no way to differentiate your passion for a highly coveted school like Wharton or Stanford, but if you truly want to go there, you should be able to say something other than what\u2019s on their website or marketing collateral (which they are thoroughly familiar with).<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> As much as you think you may be able to \u201cget away\u201d with not visiting  campus, the physical act of visiting will often give you more precise  and unique ways of expressing your interest in the school. For tips on  getting the most out of your visit, check out<a href=\"..\/blog\/gmat\/2011\/06\/03\/5-tips-for-business-school-campus-visits\/\"> this post<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h3>4. Name-dropping.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong><em> \u201cI had to start blocking Warren Buffett's phone calls; he just wouldn't stop asking me for investment advice.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>There simply isn\u2019t space for you to waste with pure name-dropping. Worked with high-profile people? They can write your recs. Read awesome books? Show how they inspired you. The names of things in themselves won\u2019t impress the adcom. (Remember, the alumni of some of these schools have founded businesses that generate as much as the GDP of small nations;  admissions officers are used to seeing important names and references to  large amounts of money.) It\u2019s the way in which you use your opportunities that impresses people, not your surface familiarity with significant-seeming entities.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> Pay attention to what intrigues you about any story you read online or in a magazine. What makes a story come alive? Let your discoveries inform your essay-writing.<\/p>\n<h3>5. Listing achievements instead of telling a story.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong> My  senior year in high school, I was a National Merit Finalist. My senior year in college, I graduated magna cum laude with a double major in Economics and Government. I then went on to pursue a Marshall  scholarship at the University of...\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The short-answer part of your application and your academic transcripts are already a distillation of your achievements. Don\u2019t waste essay space by  repeating yourself (the admissions committee will assume you have  nothing more to say). In some applications such as Wharton\u2019s, the length and rigor of the application is designed to reveal some applicants\u2019  lack of experience -- those who have insufficient experience will  inevitably begin to repeat themselves. So don\u2019t do it!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> Think in terms of \u201cmoments,\" \u201cscenes,\u201d or \"stories,\" not lines on a resume.<\/p>\n<h3>6. Describing yourself as \u201cpassionate.\u201d<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong><em> \u201cI am deeply passionate about brand management and believe I will be able to excel in this area.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If you even have the space to tell people you are passionate, you are wasting the opportunity to show  people your passion and make them feel it viscerally. You don\u2019t need to  state your \u201cpassion\u201d explicitly. Instead, describe the hours you spent,  the experiences you acquired, the resilience you developed, the  failures you endured and the moments of insight and inspiration you  experienced; this should be more than sufficient to convey your passion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> The same goes for other words like \u201cambitious,\u201d \u201cintense,\u201d \u201cdriven,\u201d  \u201cteam-oriented,\u201d etc. Whatever you do, don\u2019t describe yourself as  \u201cselfless\u201d or \u201cbrilliant.\u201d That\u2019s for other people to say.<\/p>\n<h3>7. Describing a far-fetched business venture or idea that you \u201cplan\u201d to execute.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong> \u201c<em>After gaining valuable marketing skills during my MBA, I plan to build a five-star resort in Bombay and become a world-famous hotelier<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Business professionals have seen and heard of countless business plans. A  brilliant idea doesn\u2019t necessarily impress the admissions committee; it\u2019s the execution that truly counts. Sure, you can quickly allude to something you plan to do, and if you are asked specifically to detail your five or  ten year plan, you can discuss your future in the space provided. Just understand that a brilliant idea in itself will not impress people. You are applying for admission to a school, not trying to win a venture  contest (there will be time for that later!). Also, make sure your plans  sound feasible and display sound business logic; otherwise you may come across as naive.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> Understand that b-schools are risk averse to some extent. They want to admit people who have a given track record of success and demonstrate that they make the most out of every opportunity.<\/p>\n<h3>8. Trying too hard to be creative or original.<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Example:<\/strong> <em>\u201cI wiped the sweat from my brow and told myself to remain calm. The wisdom of Sun Tzu flowed through my veins, and I returned to my  spreadsheets with renewed vigor.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You may think you\u2019ll get admission committee\u2019s attention by wowing them with flowery rhetoric, but it\u2019s more important that you be authentic and  memorable than \u201cartistic.\u201d Remember that you\u2019re applying for admission to business school, not trying to win a literary or essay contest.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing Tip:<\/strong> No matter how attached you are to certain lines in your essay, you may need to cut them. \u201cMurder your darlings\u201d if necessary.<\/p>\n<p><em>This article was written by Christina Yu. For more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.knewton.com\/gmat\/\">GMAT prep<\/a> and MBA admissions advice, check out the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.knewton.com\/blog\/gmat\/\">Knewton GMAT blog<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The business school application essay is quite a different beast from the academic essay, the creative memoir, and the informal blog post. It can be difficult to know how to&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":104,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,243],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mba","category-blog","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/104"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7609"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7611,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7609\/revisions\/7611"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gmatclub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}