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Analytical Writting Assessment (AWA)-Two years ago Nova High School be

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Analytical Writting Assessment (AWA)-Two years ago Nova High School be  [#permalink]

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New post 30 Jan 2019, 01:44
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”

The argument states that the graduates reported some impressive achievements in college and also the school dropout rate declined immediately after Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. Further, argument recommends that the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum. Stated in this way, the argument failed to mention some key factors, based on which it can be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument depends on several assumptions, for which no clear evidence is provided. Hence, it is clearly weak and has several flaws.


Firstly, the argument claims that the school dropout rate declined immediately after it began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. It did not provide data about whether the college’ declined dropout rate was the outcome of said change or of some other unstated change. It may also be the case that last year college implemented some changes, which directly gave relaxation to some of the students who were to be droped out if those new changes were not implemented.
For example: may be, last year the dean of the college was changed and the new dean who took the power was humble and kind towards such students , as a result, the college dropout rate declined last year.

Secondly, the argument states that due to implementation of interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects, the last year’s graduates reported some impressive achievements in college. It does not provide the clear evidence that it was the interactive computer instruction, which lead the graduates to have some impressive achievements in college. It is quite possible that the graduates introduced some new habit in their routine and that habit led them to achieve some impressive achievements.
For example: graduates added some extra time to perform yoga/meditation or some sports in their daily routine. As a result, they had some impressive achievements in college.

Additionally, the argument recommends that school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and also all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum. It does not provide enough facts why other schools in district should adopt interactive computer instruction. May be, they are famous for their innovative teaching methods or they are famous for their practical knowledge, which they provide.
Further, Nova High School may has enough computers to teach its students. And there is no need to buy more computers. Perhaps, the need is to use the available sources.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons, and therefore is unconvincing. It can be strengthened, if all relevant facts were mentioned. In order to access the merits of some decision/data, it is necessary to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this, the argument is weak and is open to debate.


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Re: Analytical Writting Assessment (AWA)-Two years ago Nova High School be  [#permalink]

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New post 31 Jan 2019, 11:53
You sure have improved tremendously over the past few days. To be honest, essays such as this one will very well get a score between 5-6. However, I would caution you about Pronoun errors. Your paragraphs are filled with several Pronoun errors. For instance, demonstrative pronouns that and this must be modified in non-comparison sentences. In other words, this and that, when used in non-comparison sentences, must be followed by a noun or noun phrase.
Incorrect: This is a good book
Correct: This book is good
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Re: Analytical Writting Assessment (AWA)-Two years ago Nova High School be   [#permalink] 31 Jan 2019, 11:53
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