AWA Score: 4.5 out of 6
Coherence and Connectivity: 4.5
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and connectivity. The ideas are presented in a logical order, and there is a clear progression from one point to the next. The essay effectively evaluates the author's argument and identifies the flawed reasoning. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
Word Structure: 5
The essay demonstrates a good command of word structure. The sentences are well-constructed and effectively convey the intended meaning. There is a variety of sentence structures, and the essay uses appropriate vocabulary to express ideas. The essay does not contain significant issues with word choice or sentence structure.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 4
The essay has a clear introduction that presents the main argument and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. However, the body paragraphs could have been more clearly structured. Each paragraph could have focused on one specific flaw in the author's argument and provided supporting evidence or reasoning. The essay could have benefited from topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader and enhance the overall organization.
Language and Grammar: 5
The essay demonstrates good language use and grammar. There are only minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasings throughout the essay. The language is clear and effectively conveys the intended meaning. The essay uses appropriate verb tenses, pronouns, and sentence structures.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 4
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary and word expression. There is effective use of relevant terminology and vocabulary related to the topic. However, there is room for improvement in terms of word choice and variety. The essay could benefit from incorporating more precise and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of expression.
Overall, the essay receives a score of 4.5 out of 6. The essay demonstrates coherence and connectivity, solid word structure, and good language and grammar use. However, there are some areas, such as paragraph structure and vocabulary, where improvements could be made to further enhance the essay's quality.
sasa7791 wrote:
The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper.
"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customersāsome say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
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The author argues against a possible explanation stating that the lack of exceptionally loud noise is the reason for failure of a motorcycle company to attract the customers of Motorcyle X, inspite of copying the exact same model and selling that model for less. To support his arguement, he compares the sales of the Motorcycle to those of foreign made cars, which are quitier than American-made cars. He further argues by stating that advertisements of Motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track. However, his reasoning is flawed.
Firstly he makes an assumption that sales of the Foreign-made Motorcycle would be similar to those of Quiter foreign-made cars. He implicitly assumes that the feature loud noise impacts the sales of cars and motorcyles in similar manner.
Secondly he fails to provide the relation between feature advertised and feature preferred by customers. Just because one feature is not highlighted in advertisements of a product does not mean that the feature is not preferred by customers.
Also, he assumes that such features are not highlighted in the Foreign-made Motorcycle advertisements.
However , his arguement would have been more sound, had he provided some evidence of similarity between sales of foreign -made cars and Motorcycles in relation to the feature of Loud noise. Also, any evidence that eshtablishes a positive co-relation between features highlighted in Motorcycle advrtisements and features preferred by customers will strengthen his arguement.
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05 Sep 2006, 06:39
