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Can someone please evaluate my AWA and throw some insight.

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Director
Director
User avatar
P
Joined: 26 Aug 2016
Posts: 618
Location: India
Concentration: Operations, International Business
GMAT 1: 690 Q50 V33
GMAT 2: 700 Q50 V33
GMAT 3: 730 Q51 V38
GPA: 4
WE: Information Technology (Consulting)
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Can someone please evaluate my AWA and throw some insight.  [#permalink]

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New post 03 Jul 2017, 05:05
While our school's recent job placement rates have been dismal, there is hope on the way. National reports show that the economy has added over two hundred thousand jobs this quarter, and the capital markets seem to suggest that the economy will continue to expand rapidly. With the surge in hiring, there is no question that your Columbus State degree will lead toward gainful employment in the very near future.


The Author concludes that Columbus State degree will lead towards gainful employment in the very near future.To justify his conclusion the author states that National reports show that economy has added over over two hundred thousand jobs this quarter, and that the capital markets seem to suggest that the economy will continue to expand rapidly. However, the author fails to convey the casual relationship between increase in overall number of jobs with the increase in employment from the Columbus State degree. Furthermore, the author never considers the status of the degree and how it is related to the jobs openings that have been released this quarter. Thereby, the author's argument is flawed and illogical in various aspects.

the argument depends on a questionable assumption that continued economy expansion will contribute to the employment from the degree program offered by the school. However, It is completely possible that continued economy expansion means the development of other economic factors such as increase in infrastructure of state, technological expansion, new investments from abroad in present companies. Moreover, the author fails to correlate the addition of jobs and increase in employment rate in the school. He fails to explain how the addition of new jobs will increase the employment rate of the school degree. It is possible that the new jobs opened requires some other degree apart from the one offered by the school. For example, The job openings might be for a mechanical engineering, but the college provides only computer science engineering degrees. Furthermore, The argument never discusses about the status of school compared to the other schools in the state. However, The status of school might be poor when compared to other schools, thus making the employees neglect the school from the beginning. Moreover, It is never stated that economy started to boom recently, It might be possible that economy was expanding from past decade and still the school degree was not useful enough to penetrate into market. Thereby, weakening the argument. However, The author can explicitly state that economic expansion does increase the number of jobs related to the degree offered by the school and the status of the degree compared to other schools is decent enough to get the students placed in those jobs.

In conclusion, I find this argument illogical and weak. The premises that addition of jobs and economy expansion does not adequately support the conclusion that Columbus State degree will lead toward gainful employment in near future. However, the author can support his conclusion by addition of the unstated assumptions mentioned in the previous paragraph.

Please let me know if there are any mistake in my analysis and any points i have to take care during the Exam. I got only 3.5 in previous attempt.
There are only 9 days remaining for my exam date. Please do help me fill my gaps in AWA. GMATNinja, daagh , VeritasPrepKarishma
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Re: Can someone please evaluate my AWA and throw some insight.  [#permalink]

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New post 03 Jul 2017, 23:44
1
I read your essay & from my perspective you need to work on the flow of the points written in the main body. It was difficult for me to grasp the central idea of your main body. Here is your score:- Quality of ideas:- 4
Organization-3 writing style-3 grammar - (I cant comment- not a grammar expert)
GMAT Club Bot
Re: Can someone please evaluate my AWA and throw some insight.   [#permalink] 03 Jul 2017, 23:44
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Can someone please evaluate my AWA and throw some insight.

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