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Could you please rate my TOEFL independent essay??

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Joined: 05 Oct 2014
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Could you please rate my TOEFL independent essay??  [#permalink]

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New post 05 Oct 2014, 09:51
Parents' involvement in their children's studies - Past Vs Present

Nowadays education is an important section in all people especially young people's-future grownups- life because, their future job and life style depends on their education. Since parents know this importance and they want a brilliant future for their kids, they are paying more attention to this part of their children's lives.
First, previously parents did not know much about education, and children's future position in the society was not either relevant to their education. I remember once my father told me that when he was going to school his parents could not help him since they were not educated and but he tried and tried a lot and got educated and finally he received a good job opportunity. He also helped his brothers and sisters, so now my father and his siblings have high academic degrees and good jobs. Now all of them know how important it is to be educated and they have encouraged their children to get in to prestigious universities.

Second, A high percent of parents these days are academically educated-this make them experienced- so they know what is good for their children because they have a good knowledge on education and since they are employed they know what is good for their children and what improves their future. In this case they can guide their kids in to right paths, that take them to a bright future. I remember the time that I was going to choose what to study in the university, My dad helped me a lot on that subject, he discussed a lot of things with me which that was very helpful and made me choose Physics as my major and I am really proud of it. While parents in the past did not have these helpful knowledge so they could not help their children as much as nowadays parents.

To summarize, since nowadays parents know more about education and how valuable education is to their children’s lives then parents in the past, and as most of the parents have high academic degrees these days they have the knowledge and experience to help their children make good decisions.
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Could you please rate my TOEFL independent essay??   [#permalink] 05 Oct 2014, 09:51
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