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# Destroyed

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Manager
Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 242
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Destroyed [#permalink]

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13 Jul 2006, 09:39
Hi to all I am going now through a difficult period, I do not know how to react to this situation I just broke up with my girlfriend, I am completally destroyed I should study and focus on my future, trying to study for this exam but I do not know where to gather the energy in this moment. Things seemed not bad recently, we had a distance relationship,... but instead she just told me her decision..... i do not know if is the right decision to go and talk to her personally or not, but seems to be clear in what she wants.....

sorry to bother all of you guys maybe this post considering that is OT will be removed, but recently this has been the place where I have spent most of my time and this is just a way to bring out all the frustration that is inside me

Sorry again ...
_________________

â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

Manager
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Re: Destroyed [#permalink]

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13 Jul 2006, 13:36
I know that you may be feeling like everything is lost and that your whole world has caved in on you. I'm going to tell you something you probably already know: things will get better with time. As you put this phase of your life behind you and move forward, you will realize that you needed this experience in order to grow. The future will bring many bouts of joy and sadness. You will be more prepared the next time.

Good luck to you.

Gauss wrote:
Hi to all I am going now through a difficult period, I do not know how to react to this situation I just broke up with my girlfriend, I am completally destroyed I should study and focus on my future, trying to study for this exam but I do not know where to gather the energy in this moment. Things seemed not bad recently, we had a distance relationship,... but instead she just told me her decision..... i do not know if is the right decision to go and talk to her personally or not, but seems to be clear in what she wants.....

sorry to bother all of you guys maybe this post considering that is OT will be removed, but recently this has been the place where I have spent most of my time and this is just a way to bring out all the frustration that is inside me

Sorry again ...
Manager
Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 242
Location: Italy
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Kudos [?]: 56 [0], given: 0

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13 Jul 2006, 15:12
thank u very much saturnring u are very nice and this are nice words, now I feel very tired, and probably I will try sleep. My nervs at this moment are very high but I realize that I need a reaction in order to move on, I will see if I can deviete all this energy inside toward something constructive and positive,... in this case the preparation of his exam.

I think that even toward the approach that I have to the gmat I should change aptitude being more aggressive, the last few days I have been a bit browsing on the web looking at several forum about the GMAT, and telling the thruth I got I bit discouraged looking at how people prepare the exam with and incredible strong aggressive aptitude, having as this exam in most of the cases as their primary goal. For me in my hierarchical scale I would say that was on the 3rd place.... first my girlfriend, second thesis preparation, 3rd GMAT,.. I know is wrong I placed emotion in the first place but when u et involved is not sometimes easy to lose the control of the situation....

I already took this exam in June and I got a horrible 490 considering that for the entire month we were in a very tense situation having and incredible hard discussion on the phone being already there about to break up (she lives in Spain) just the night before the test..... I do not know now what I am going to do, I want to react and I hope to do the right thing.... I think will help If I ll receive a conditional positive offer(conditional because I need if my application is good to score at least a 600 on the GMAT) form the University that I have applied(RSM in the Netherlands), the reply should be within 10 days.

tx for all saturnring, I whish I could have been now where u are, in California, I was there last year for an academic year as exchange student in the UGBA at the Haas School of Business and was really a great experience personally (I really loved the Bay area and his environment) and academically....
_________________

â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

VP
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13 Jul 2006, 15:49
what is this?... u2lover 10 months ago? except I was the girlfriend

listen gauss... all I can say is that this looks very familiar and I had exactly your attitude during the difficult period... why be aggressive, why push the GMAT when you still have time, why now this whole world is crumbling down? why now, when the whole plan for the future seems to be set we have to part ways? Warning to you... if you are going to crash yourself over the break up you won't do well on GMAT in the near future... at least I didn't... You have to completely reload yourself with THESIS/GMAT "software" and keep on focusing on it... Forget the romance, it will only distract you...

and yes... time will heal... I still think about that decision that I made a little over 10 months ago... wondering where would I be now should I have kept my relationship, and I convince myself that I would not be as happy as I am today (even doing GMAT on a daily basis )

I think you are young and there will be many things you will have to let go, but such experiences only make a strong personality, so buckle up and accellerate on what you have to do now... and main thing... STAY POSITIVE, DON'T THINK about the break-up... the stuff you are doing sure seems boring, and if you see your attention slipping away... DRINK some strong ITALIAN coffee, shake yourself up and look at AWESOME SC strategies they will do you no harm
Joined: 31 Dec 1969
Location: Russian Federation
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, International Business
GMAT 1: 710 Q49 V0
GMAT 2: 700 Q V
GMAT 3: 740 Q40 V50
GMAT 4: 700 Q48 V38
GMAT 5: 710 Q45 V41
GMAT 6: 680 Q47 V36
GMAT 7: Q42 V44
GMAT 8: Q42 V44
GMAT 9: 740 Q49 V42
GMAT 10: 740 Q V
GMAT 11: 500 Q47 V33
GMAT 12: 670 Q V
GMAT 13: 680 Q V
GMAT 14: 760 Q49 V44
WE: Supply Chain Management (Energy and Utilities)
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13 Jul 2006, 16:19
tx U2 lover at least I know that even if I wont be able to to reach my Gmat goal (I hope to do it) I would have had the chance to make new friends on this site,... I have never really used in the past forums, I would say that this is in my case the first time, and is very nice to share something with with someone that exactly know what u are talking about... Here in my country no one knows about this test and how important is for your future career, at the best Italian Business School (Bocconi) is not even required, I had to take the TOEFL, but just because I applyed to the exchange program at the Haas last year..
Manager
Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 242
Location: Italy
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Kudos [?]: 56 [0], given: 0

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13 Jul 2006, 16:30
Anonymous wrote:
tx U2 lover at least I know that even if I wont be able to to reach my Gmat goal (I hope to do it) I would have had the chance to make new friends on this site,... I have never really used in the past forums, I would say that this is in my case the first time, and is very nice to share something with with someone that exactly know what u are talking about... Here in my country no one knows about this test and how important is for your future career, at the best Italian Business School (Bocconi) is not even required, I had to take the TOEFL, but just because I applyed to the exchange program at the Haas last year..

this post was mine, just not logged with my account
_________________

â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

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13 Jul 2006, 16:44
Time will certainly heal, Gauss.

As funny as it sounds, when it happened to me, I stopped watching and romantic movies and listening to music. I was fortunate to have a rather busy lifestyle, so it didnt take a lot of work. After a while, I learned to eye up cute women all over again. Ahh, those killer eyes.

u2lover, I love U2 too. Been eyeing that Ipod special edition for a while. Might get one of those bad boys next month.

I have always found a reason to smile after reading this...

THE STATION
by Robert Hastings

Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision, we see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows, we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waiving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountians and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination -- for at a certian hour on a given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving and bands playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead waiting, waiting, waiting for the station. "Yes, when we reach the station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're 18... win that promotion... put the kids through college... buy that 450 SL Mercedes-Benz... pay off the mortgage... have a nest egg for retirement." From that day on, we will live happily ever after.

Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy.

The station is an illusion -- it constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory; tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to history; tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset; tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only today is there light enough to love and live.

So gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad, but rather the regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. "Relish in the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more mountians, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot more often. Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we go along.

Praetorian
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be strong [#permalink]

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13 Jul 2006, 23:26
I am very sorry to her about your breakup. My best friend, who is currently fighting in Iraq (Hooah!), was shocked (floored, exactly), when his fiancÃ©e in the states broke up with him. Sure, time heals all wounds and this too shall pass, but neither statement is consoling. It does help to vent to people you trust, but again the pain remains. I told my friend that he has to have faith. It is in the hard times when we are tested, when our true colors show. Have faith! Have faith that somehow this heartbreak fits into Godâ€™s master plan for you. Trust Him! Because He will never let you down, even though she did. Trust that He has better things in mind for you (i.e. the grad school of your dreams, and â€œthe oneâ€
_________________

"Become who you are."-Pope John Paul II

Manager
Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 242
Location: Italy
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Kudos [?]: 56 [0], given: 0

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14 Jul 2006, 02:58
thank u very much I really appreciate all your support, telling the thruth I have currently some anger about all, I just hope to canalize it in the preparation of this exam, having then at least my mind cleared oout about my personal problems,.... as I have already posted I have booked my GMAT I will take it in the Netherlands at the end of august and probably I will move there at the end of next week so I can keep my self focused at least in an environment where I will be comunicating with people around in English.... do not worry I seriously think that u ll notice even more my presence on this forum,.... I have noticed that giving other people explanations helps even your self learn better the concepts, and finally seems that I am tackling this test in a more schematic reasoned approach... building up the right mentality .... now is what I have and what I need to focus on....
_________________

â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

VP
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14 Jul 2006, 08:03
Praetorian wrote:
u2lover, I love U2 too. Been eyeing that Ipod special edition for a while. Might get one of those bad boys next month.

they just released the new one last month with 30GB... and it is a nicer one too... colored display and capable of storing videos... I have the oldest one without color display and all the nice things they offer now. Wanna get the new one too... but no reason to change it now...
Current Student
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 76
Location: United States
Concentration: Marketing, International Business
GMAT 1: 690 Q V0
GMAT 2: 670 Q46 V36
GMAT 3: 610 Q44 V28
GPA: 3.46
WE: Sales (Consumer Products)
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Kudos [?]: 8 [0], given: 0

stay strong [#permalink]

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15 Jul 2006, 08:52
life is not easy, you never know what comes your way. You seem to be a strong fella and determined to succeed. Yuo can laways retake. After all, it's just a test...
Manager
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15 Jul 2006, 13:06
thank u for all your support this is a great community, I am trying no to react but is strange because when I try to approach the books I pull them away or just sit on a page for hours my energies are missing the consciousness that I need a reaction is high but the energies are missing fell like empty now,.. the only think that I am currently doing is visiting this web site and often times replying to some CR question the one that I had opened once the book so far, beside that I am trying to touch theMGMAT SC and review powerscore but...then...i pull back the books I hope that this period will end soon, anyway next week on saturday I ll move to the Netherlands where my GMAT is booked at the end of August hoping that a bit changing the environment will help,... I am starting to get sick of my country even if I hove it,.... I had my greatest time last year in California at Berkeley where I got to know interesting people like Akerloff but here there is and incredible lack of motivations,... even often times looking at my friends have lost faith that things will get better,... I realized that the environmet that sourrounds u has a great incidence on your state of homour,.. and sincerelly I am missing to much the "can do it mentality" that u guys there have,.... praet I am about to print your nice words and stick them on my desk so I can look at it when down..... nice words....
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â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

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15 Jul 2006, 22:39
I think the best thing is to keep yourself occupied.
Make GMAT books your best buddy for sometime now.

Don't surrender yourself to emotions.The more you'll think about it, the more it'll make you unhappy.Have a positive mindset.Read good books...talk with people who have a positive attitude towards life.

In no time you'll find life....a god's gift!!!
Joined: 31 Dec 1969
Location: Russian Federation
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, International Business
GMAT 1: 710 Q49 V0
GMAT 2: 700 Q V
GMAT 3: 740 Q40 V50
GMAT 4: 700 Q48 V38
GMAT 5: 710 Q45 V41
GMAT 6: 680 Q47 V36
GMAT 7: Q42 V44
GMAT 8: Q42 V44
GMAT 9: 740 Q49 V42
GMAT 10: 740 Q V
GMAT 11: 500 Q47 V33
GMAT 12: 670 Q V
GMAT 13: 680 Q V
GMAT 14: 760 Q49 V44
WE: Supply Chain Management (Energy and Utilities)
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15 Jul 2006, 23:19
zoom612 wrote:
I think the best thing is to keep yourself occupied.
Make GMAT books your best buddy for sometime now.

Don't surrender yourself to emotions.The more you'll think about it, the more it'll make you unhappy.Have a positive mindset.Read good books...talk with people who have a positive attitude towards life.

In no time you'll find life....a god's gift!!!

tx for your suggestions fortunatelly I have a lot of friends that sourrounds me and are helping me out,... is very strange because it seems that life a bit is changing even in the regular daily basis like I am a great sleeper I always have been so, try not to worry about problems untill they come out... but now eg this morning I was already awake at 6 in the bed even if I got up around 7.....very unusual for me and last night I went to bed at 1..... it seems that I am wasting my time there is will to do a lot inside reacting, but is missing that last piece that makes u move,...

I ll now go take a shower, just finished to take breakfast and I hope then to finally hit the SC MGMAT gude that are few days that is waiting there to be opened,.... I hate grammar more that anything also in this test at least in the other section I am having interest to resolve math problems and CR, but grammar for me is just out,...

it is so nice to be part of this community.... I am getting a lot from u discovering the human part that there is inside all of us that goes beyond the GMAT, is so amazing to see people as praet, paul, hjort and many others that I hope to know soon how they manage this site driven by desire of building an active community....
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15 Jul 2006, 23:21
sorry I thought to be connected... was the above my message....
_________________

â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

Joined: 31 Dec 1969
Location: Russian Federation
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, International Business
GMAT 1: 710 Q49 V0
GMAT 2: 700 Q V
GMAT 3: 740 Q40 V50
GMAT 4: 700 Q48 V38
GMAT 5: 710 Q45 V41
GMAT 6: 680 Q47 V36
GMAT 7: Q42 V44
GMAT 8: Q42 V44
GMAT 9: 740 Q49 V42
GMAT 10: 740 Q V
GMAT 11: 500 Q47 V33
GMAT 12: 670 Q V
GMAT 13: 680 Q V
GMAT 14: 760 Q49 V44
WE: Supply Chain Management (Energy and Utilities)
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 214 [0], given: 103787

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15 Jul 2006, 23:35
Just hang in there. Everything happens for the best.

I have been there, done that. Remember, all that glitters is not gold, and all thats dull is not stone.
Manager
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15 Jul 2006, 23:35
Anonymous wrote:
Just hang in there. Everything happens for the best.

I have been there, done that. Remember, all that glitters is not gold, and all thats dull is not stone.

that was me.
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16 Jul 2006, 07:06
Hi Gauss, I just had time to reach this post of yours as I finished all my exams last friday. I must say that I can certainly understand what you are going through now.

I remember when I was still back home and trying to study for this exam, unable to cope with the fact that while I was studying, all my friends were playing outside and said that I should perhaps ease a bit on it. I did for some time to clear my mind but at the end of the day, would come back to it because I saw it more of a challenge rather than a hurdle to get into b-school. I thought that there is nothing one cannot accomplish in life if one puts enough will and effort at it. For example, I have always been slightly afraid of water as a kid (perhaps because I survived a shipwreck when I fled the Vietnam War in 1978 as a "boat people") and did not know how to swim. I eventually overcame that fear but was able to do only 4 lengths... painstakingly. I decided to put in all my will and effort, took some classes, and today can do 70-80 lengths (1.5-2km 3-4 times per week). I learned from this kind of experience and believe me, you can apply it to pretty much any situation. I was also afraid of public speaking but joined "toastmaster" at my current school and am now much more comfortable presenting. The same goes for your GMAT.

When I did my CFAIII last year, my then gf broke up with me 1 week before the exam. As a result, I spent that week not studying at all and did not make it. However, I am determined to eventually finish it and am a staunch believer in achieving anything you undertake. There will always be bumps along the way but determination will get you there. Often times, the longer route is better as what you learn along the way is priceless and it is that bit of wisdom that you will share with your loved ones later in life.

Keep practicing the GMAT on this forum as it is the single best resource you will get and it is not because I am an admin here that I'm saying this. I remember as I started, I knew next to nothing about permutation/combination problems but I learned it all from here. I eventually came to write up such problems for the forum and they were all fine. Nowadays, if you were to ask me to solve those question types, I will perhaps be unable to as the GMAT is really not a test of intelligence but rather a test of concepts. Master the tools and then forget them, and I have.

Take some time off and get back to it. Have faith in yourself. This forum will provide you the tools and support you need. You do not need to feel embarrassed about sharing your hardship.

PS. Praetorian, that excerpt is absolutely delightful. So inspiring indeed.
_________________

Best Regards,

Paul

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16 Jul 2006, 09:14
tx very much Paul, fortunatelly now I am getting better and I have to thank a lot this forum,..,. today I opened agian a Gmat book the MGMAT guide of SC the part that I mostly hate is grammar... soon I ll be adding comments to SC questions....
_________________

â€œIf money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.â€

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Re: Destroyed [#permalink]

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18 Jul 2006, 01:58
Gauss wrote:
Hi to all I am going now through a difficult period, I do not know how to react to this situation I just broke up with my girlfriend, I am completally destroyed I should study and focus on my future, trying to study for this exam but I do not know where to gather the energy in this moment. Things seemed not bad recently, we had a distance relationship,... but instead she just told me her decision..... i do not know if is the right decision to go and talk to her personally or not, but seems to be clear in what she wants.....

sorry to bother all of you guys maybe this post considering that is OT will be removed, but recently this has been the place where I have spent most of my time and this is just a way to bring out all the frustration that is inside me

Sorry again ...

I do totally agree - study is the best medisine. Just keep yourself occupied and concentrate on GMAT as the reason of your pain!!! Fight him! Kill him! This is your revenge to your tragedy (it is not a gentelmen's way to fight the girls:)), fight and kill GMAT instead
Re: Destroyed   [#permalink] 18 Jul 2006, 01:58

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