AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
rc9811 wrote:
Please evaluate my AWA
In the past few years, Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in both enrollments and admissions applications. The reason can be discovered from our students, who most often cite poor teaching and inadequate library resources as their chief sources of dissatisfaction with Fern Valley. Therefore, in order to increase the number of students attending our university, and hence to regain our position as the most prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area, it is necessary to initiate a fund-raising campaign among the alumni that will enable us to expand the range of subjects we teach and to increase the size of our library facilities.
The argument claims that reason behind the decline in enrolments and admission applications for Fern Valley University is inadequate library resources and poor teaching. So, in order to increase the number and regain its position, Fern Valley University found it necessary to initiate a fund raising campaign. At first the argument seems persuasive, however, the argument makes several unsupported assumptions and stated this way the argument fails to consider several key factors which could call the conclusion to question. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes poor teaching and inadequate library resources as main reason for the decline just because students cite that reason. However the argument fails to provide data for the question to what extent is the number of students expressing their dissatisfaction representative as a whole? For example, the student might express his/her personal sources of dissatisfaction as the chief sources of dissatisfaction for every student in the university. If the number is less the university would be working to rectify a wrong problem. Moreover the reason behind the decline could a totally a different one. For example, what if the cut off range for their minimum application requirement could be higher for any student to apply? If the argument had provided that data it would be helpful to evaluate the argument.
Second, the argument assumes that increase in the number of students would help them regain the position as the most prestigious university. However, it is actually the opposite of what the argument assumes, because in order to increase the number of student attending university, the university might have to compromise on their standards. For example, university might have to reduce their minimum requirements to cater to a large number of students.
Third, the final stage of the argument states that it is necessary to initiate a fund raising campaign among the alumni to expand the range of subjects we teach and to increase the size of our library facilities. Stated this way the argument readily assumes that the fund raised among the alumni would be sufficient for the expansion. What if number of alumni willing to participate in the fund raising is less? Without this information analysing the likelihood of the plan to succeed is difficult.
In summary, the argument fails to convince because of the faulty assumptions aforementioned. If the argument had drawn up on the examples as suggested, and thereby plugging in the gaps in the reasoning the argument would have been far sounder on the whole.