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# hi, this is my first stint at AWA argument writting.

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Joined: 23 Jan 2011
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hi, this is my first stint at AWA argument writting. [#permalink]

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23 Jan 2011, 02:12
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing , for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."

This is for the Olympic food argument stated above.

Argument that long industry experience of Olympic Foods will lead to better efficiency and thus to minimizing costs, and increasing profits, makes certain assumptions, which are flawed. Drawing an analogy along color film industry is like comparing apples and mangoes, and doesn’t help in substantiating the argument.
Argument draws an analogy along color film processing industry that merely explains the fall in the prices that the color film processing saw, without addressing the facts, which would actually lead to fall in the processing costs of frozen foods. Secondly, argument assumes that the decrease in the price of processing color films was solely due to better efficiency of the industry. But if the prices were affected because of the market demand and market competition for the raw material used in the processing of color films, a similar pattern has to be followed in frozen food industry so as to see a decrease in the processing cost. Lastly, argument assumes that mere decrease in the processing cost will lead to increase in profit margins, thereby ignoring other factors such as cost of the raw material, which could be a deciding factor in profit margins.
In conclusion the argument fails to shed light on strong logical factors, which could actually convince the shareholders, that there will be a decrease in processing cost and thus an increase in profit margins.

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Re: hi, this is my first stint at AWA argument writting. [#permalink]

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23 Jan 2011, 07:21
Hi deveshpaliwal, welcome to gmat club!!

First of all you really need to check the chinese burned guide on AWA in this forum. That will be a great helping tool for you.

Secondly, your word count in the essay is 226, which is quite less in terms of the essay requirement. Essay structure also needs to be improved.

Best of luck and keep us posted once you go through th AWA guide.
_________________

Kudos [?]: 1198 [0], given: 157

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Re: hi, this is my first stint at AWA argument writting. [#permalink]

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24 Jan 2011, 08:04
Hey, thanks for your inputs, yesterday after posting my AWA, I did came across the chinese burned guide, and here is an essay based on its inputs, please review and let me know the faults, as i wish to have a concrete template ASAP, so that I can practice it for a longer period...
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The argument claims that with increase in the industry experience of Olympic foods, it will increase its efficiency, which in turn would lead to lower processing costs and more profit margins. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it can be evaluated. The conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore the argument is rather weak, unconvincing and have several flaws.

Firstly, argument readily assumes that better efficiency will lead to decrease in the costs of processing. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. There are numerous other factors which can affect the costs of processing. For instance if the improvement in the efficiency of the frozen food processing was a result of an expensive, high quality machinery, and highly skilled labor , they would compensate for the cost decrease which is mentioned in the argument.

Secondly, argument draws an analogy along the color print industry, to make its point. This again is flawed, as the argument doesn’t demonstrates any co-relation between these 2 industries. To illustrate, the decrease in the price of color film from 1970 to 1984, is not substantiated with evidences which lead to that decrease. For example, the decrease in the cost could have been due to decrease in the cost of raw material used in processing of color prints. If any such co-relation had been shown for the frozen food processing industry, in relation to decrease in the raw material used, the argument would have sounded a bit more convincing.

Finally, the argument concludes that a decrease in the processing costs of the frozen food will eventually lead to increase in profit margins. Through this conclusion, again the argument fails to consider other factors which could affect the profit margin of the company. Without supporting evidences and examples to illustrate that other costs will also be reduced, one is left with an impression that the claim of better profits is more of a wishful thinking.

In conclusion the argument is flawed and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if all relevant facts were mentioned. In order to come to a certain conclusion, it is essential to have a full knowledge of all contributing factors.

Waiting eagerly for a response,
Thanks, Devesh Paliwal.

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Re: hi, this is my first stint at AWA argument writting.   [#permalink] 24 Jan 2011, 08:04
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