Hi everyone. Followed the GMAT test as close as possible. Timed myself for 30minutes and did the AWA in Wordpad so not marks or indication of misspellings and grammar. I selected the AWA question at random from the set of AWA questions from the chineseburned stickied thread. I look forward to your critique, evaluation and tips for overall improvement. Thanks in advance!

**Quote:**

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper.

“This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The other 12,000 Waymarsh students evidently weren’t so concerned about their education: they either stayed on campus or left for winter break. Since the group who did not protest is far more numerous, it is more representative of the state’s college students than are the protesters. Therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students.”

The author presents an premise where a small minority of Waymarsh State College students traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for their education programs. Due to a much fewer number of students who attended the protest relative to the total student population of the school, the author argues that the state legislature does not need to look into the needs of the protesting students. The author does not consider several key factors, rather he or she makes a general assumption, thereby making his or her claim unconvincing.

First, the author states the only reason why students stayed on campus instead of going to the protest is because those who stayed were not concerned about their education. While it may be true for some of the students, it is a blanket statement that does not cover all students. For example, the remaining 11,200 students might not have adequate means of physically getting from the college to the capitol building. These students may have wanted to go but could not due to logistics. Monetary resources could have also been another factor as a reason why these students could not attend, given that Waymarsh is a state college, we can also assume the student population attending make not have has much disposable income. The author also mentions that this occurs during the winter break, where many students may have prior obligations or arrangements to go home and visit their families.

Second, the author claims that the proposed cuts is for various programs but never defined what those programs are. The 200 students that visited the capitol could have been affected directly by the funding cuts due to being in a specific, niche, minority program, whereas the majority of students were in a much larger general program that was not affected. Both groups of students could have easily been invested in their education but being in different programs would result in different concerns for their respective programs.

In conclusion, the author overlooks the above-mentioned factors that could be key reasons as to why the remaining students on campus did not attend. To get a better understanding on which students are concerned about the proposed cuts in funding, it would be more effective to survey the all students instead of using only students who physically protested as the sole metric in his or her argument. Without using a more logical and effective means of understanding why students did not attend the protest, the argument remains ineffective and unconvincing.

Total Word Count = 420