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Re: For the past century, an increase in the number of residential buildin [#permalink]
DisciplinedPrep wrote:
minustark - Let me be as frank as possible. You would need some help in the AWA section. As written, the passage has several grammar issues, mostly related to the error type: modifiers, and therefore your score in this section will drastically come down. Do you mind following the chineseburned template? Do not worry about providing the "best" strengtheners or weakener; instead, you should focus on good grammar.

Chineseburned AWA template: https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html

Thank you. I would try my best
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Re: For the past century, an increase in the number of residential buildin [#permalink]
Expert Reply
AWA Score: 5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!


Good Luck

Himan2209 wrote:
Hi Sajjad1994,

Please help evaluate my AWA:


The argument claims that increase in the number of residential building permits is a reliable indicator of coming improvements to that region’s economy. It also claims this connection is so established that the government can use it to end economic downturn in any region. Stated in this way the argument manipulates facts and provides a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that the increase in the number of residential building permits issued per month is the sole indicator of the economy. This argument is a stretch as it takes certain assumptions and levels it across the whole population. For example, there can be the case that money is getting concentrated to few people in the region and leading to a situation where rich are getting richer and the poor are getting more poor. Clearly, this argument avoids certain considerations in it. The argument could have been much clearer if it would have clearly stated how it impacted all classes of the population, rather than just who can afford building permits.

Second, the argument claims that the government should relax regulation on construction, and that could lead to more building permits. This argument is weak and has unsupported claims as the argument does not establish a correlation between relaxing regulation and increased building permits. To illustrate, relaxing norms on construction could lead to a situation where construction companies can leverage it and eventually burden customers with their will and this could lead to slow down, rather than upsurge. The argument could have been much more convincing if the relaxing norms could help increase the number of building permits.

Finally, the argument undermines certain populations of the region in consideration while making claims and it assumes relaxing norms would only lead to positive implications and ignoring other factors to be considered. Without considering all the factors and providing evidence to all assumptions, the argument remains more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.

In conclusion, the argument remains weak for the above mentioned reasons and it could have been strengthened better by stating all relevant facts and evidences. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: For the past century, an increase in the number of residential buildin [#permalink]
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