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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
lsuguy7 wrote:
Here is an essay I wrote for a PR Test - Graded a 6.0 (normally they grade harder than real thing)

Prompt: “The autonomy of any country is based on the strength of its borders; if the number of illegal immigrants entering a country cannot be checked, both its economy and national identity are endangered. Because illegal immigrants pose such threats, every effort must be made to return them to their country of origin.”

Assignment: Discuss how well-reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


"This argument relies heavily on unverified assumptions and has a very extreme conclusion. The author fails to make logical connections between the evidence provided and the conclusion that all illegal aliens must be returned to their country of origin.

The first problem with the argument is that it suffers from multiple unsubstantiated claims. The first evidence that is given to support the extreme conclusion is that the autonomy of any country is based on the strength of its borders. This statement is also extreme because it infers that every countries autonomy could be ranked by the strength of its borders. There are many European countries that have very little strength exerted at the borders, but still maintain autonomy. The author should clarify this statement by grouping countries together or using a more vague statement that would include most countries but not all.

The next statement in the argument is conditional phrase stating that the more illegal immigrants that enter a country the worse off the economy and national identity will be. While this statement might be true for some countries it is certainly not true for all countries. The very foundation of early US society was based on immigrant labor and culture that brought from over the sea. There are still many countries whose economy is heavily dependent on immigrant labor. Even though many economist feel this statement is true in the US today, most would disagree that this statement is true of all countries.

The final portion of the author's argument is the conclusion. The conclusion states that the because of disadvantages mentioned earlier all illegal immigrants must be returned to their country of origin. Although this statement might appear to be a logical conclusion of this extreme argument it fails to take extra information into account. The author doesn't give any indication on how extreme these problems will be or how costly it will be to return the amount of illegal aliens to their home country. What if the cost to the economy was half the amount that it would cost to send all of the immigrants back to their country of origin? The author could use some monetary figures to prove that some savings would be incurred if all illegal immigrants were deported.

In conclusion, the argument suffers from logical flaws and makes an extreme conclusion based on unproven assumptions. The addition of hard examples and connections between the statements would prove to strengthen the argument."


*This just shows you how you don't have to write great to get a good score*


The AWA structure is quite informative but I wonder whether the contents are to the point or not !!

Here it’s mentioned regarding the illegal immigrants, those immigrants who entered in any country illegally; those may be the terrorists or spy or anyone !!! So efforts must be made to make them return to their own countries .

Additionally, I would like to highlight one point , those immigrants who enter in any country for work purpose , they are supposed to have the valid visa then only they will be allowed to enter in any country thereby ,contributing that country’s economy , there comes the immigrant labour concept !!!


Experts , kindly address my understanding

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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
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Just wanted to add my appreciation for this guide. I wrote 3 practice essays using this guide the weekend prior to the GMAT and got a 6.0 on the real thing last week.
While I'm thrilled, this is clear evidence that computers shouldn't grade essays!

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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
But the sample essay in the official guide is about 330 words and just 3 paragraphs.

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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Is the focus of the essay specifically to find flaws in the argument? Or is it possible that there is a sound argument which we could analyse by identifying the points which make the argument strong?

(I am just getting started with prep for AWA, it seems to me from what little I have read so far that we must always focus on finding flaws. Occasional acknowledgement of valid points may be permitted, but it is mostly followed by a contrast.)
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
.

Originally posted by BBD on 01 Dec 2019, 18:40.
Last edited by BBD on 27 Nov 2020, 15:09, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
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I have written few essays which someone may refer and get started with. Idea is to write a essay in your free time for half an hour for each day leading upto the exam. If you do this for 10-15 days you will be in a much better position to get that 6. If this post helps you consider giving kudos.
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Hello Everyone,
I got 5.5.
I made a template that I memorised and when I got to the essay part I just typed out my template after which I read the task and filled out my already written template.

I know 5.5 is not perfect but maybe with some small adjustments or better skills for filling out the information you can get 6.0.

If anyone wants my template, feel free to contact me. I am aplying for asia if anyone is also, contact me!
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
@chineseburn -- Your post helped me score a 5.5 on AWA. You rock. Thanks.
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Does this still work or has the GMAT caught on to so many people using a similar template? I used this on my last GMAT and got a 4.5. Granted, it was not as well written as it could have been but I'm wondering if I should keep using the template and enhancing my content or shift to my own original outline?
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
georgecharlielucy wrote:
Does this still work or has the GMAT caught on to so many people using a similar template? I used this on my last GMAT and got a 4.5. Granted, it was not as well written as it could have been but I'm wondering if I should keep using the template and enhancing my content or shift to my own original outline?


Yes it is viable,
I got 5.5 with ease. No one cares about AWA so GMAT won't "caught on" to anything. And the idea behind AWA is to find similarities, you don't need to come up with a new English here, you probably will get 2.0 if you do so
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
One has to always weak the argument in AWA. Pl guide

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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Best article on GMAT Club on the AWA strategy..
Highly recommended. I recently scored a 5.5 following this article to the T.
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Here is a sample response to question number 4 in the word document provided by the original author.
---------------
The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery.

“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”

Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
--------------------------------

The argument claims that delays in manufacturing are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing materials, which could be averted by replacing the current manager with a new manager from a more scientific background. While the author's claim that a purchasing manager should have more knowledge in the scientific realm of raw materials used to create metal, the author fails to provide adequate evidence to support this claim. Furthermore, the author fails to even provide evidence demonstrating that delays in manufacturing are the result of the purchasing manager's actions / the purchasing division's actions. In addition to omitting key information necessary to judge the author's claims, the author fails to discuss tradeoffs associated with replacing the current purchasing manager with the proposed manager mentioned above. In order to strengthen the argument, the author must incorporate sufficient evidence and explanations to validate his claims and to provide a logic map for his currently unfounded assumptions.

The author begins the his argument by claiming that delays in manufacturing are due to poor planning surrounding raw material purchases, and then proceeds to state that the poor planning stems from the current purchasing manager's errors. While the purchasing manager's errors may have caused the manufacturing delays, the author fails to provide any evidence demonstrating this fact. Following this unfounded claim, the author states that the issue lies in the background of the purchasing manager, and that this issue can be resolved by replacing the current purchasing manager with another whose background is more grounded in the science of raw materials required to form metals. Just as the author made an unfounded assumption regarding the root of the manufacturing delay, so too did the author make an unfounded assumption in the required background of the purchasing manager. In order to strengthen the author's currently unsupported claims, the author must provide demonstrable proof, linking evidence to his conclusions. For example, the author could provide specific examples and explanations detailing the shortcomings of the purchasing manager, and how this has negatively affected the manufacturing process, thus resulting in manufacturing delays. However, even if the delays are the result of the purchasing manager's decisions, there may be outside variables causing the manager to take the courses of action that are leading to delays in the process, and the author should incorporate this possibility into his analysis. Examples the author could analyze include: an inadequate budget allocation for the raw materials purchasing department, a lack of experienced workers on the job due to job cuts, issues involving suppliers of raw materials leading to delays, and others. By providing evidence required to substantiate his currently unfounded claims, the author will strengthen his argument, resulting in a more plausible conclusion.

Just as the author lacked evidence to his claims discussed in the prior paragraph, so the author lacked reasoning and evidence to support his claim that a new purchasing manager with more scientific background is needed to fix the current manufacturing delays. Clearly the author does not feel the need to provide support for his claims, yet this missing support is crucial to give the argument the footing it needs. In addition to omitting necessary evidence, the author also fails to seize the opportunity to provide a trade-off analysis, comparing the positives and negatives of the suggested purchasing manager transition. To enhance the trade off analysis, the author could provide specific examples illustrating how the purchasing department is the cause of the majority of delays. Furthermore, the author could provide concrete evidence demonstrating that the current purchasing manager's background is inadequate for the position, such as that the purchasing manager made erroneous purchasing decisions due to lack of scientific knowledge behind the metals. Similarly, the author should also demonstrate the prospective negative consequences of shifting to a purchasing manager, whose background does not reflect the attributes of the current manager. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should expand upon his current reasoning by including examples, evidence and analyses to support his proposition.

While the conclusion may be plausible that the purchasing manager needs to have a more in-depth background in raw materials, the author lacks sufficient evidence to demonstrate this claim. Furthermore, the author makes an unfounded assumption that the manufacturing delays are the direct resulting of the purchasing department, and more specifically, the result of the current purchasing manager. By failing to provide sufficient evidence to substantiate his claims, the author's argument is weak; however, the author can vastly improve the validity of the argument by implementing the proposed changes discussed above.
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Hi Experts,chineseburned, GMATNinja,
Can I use the Chineseburned template for my AWA? I have this doubt that if I follow the template word to word, my marks may get deducted due to plagiarism.
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Hi everyone!

First, thank you chineseburned for this amazing analysis and framework! I am sure many GMATClub members would have used it for great results.

Second, I have a doubt. Are all arguments weak and make incorrect assumptions? Has anyone ever encountered an argument which was logically sound? If so, would love to read their analysis of such arguments.

Finally, I need some advice about how to prepare for AWA. I will appear for GMAT in a few days. I wish to practice atleast 2-3 AWAs before the test day and if possible get them rated online. So kindly suggest some online websites which will be helpful.

TIA!
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
One of my friends is going to start a business. I'm going to help him. Can you recommend a website where we'll find some advice from experts?
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Hi,
Tysm for your template. I scored a perfect 6 because of you.

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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
Do they still give the topics out before hand? If so, where can I find them?
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Re: How to get 6.0 AWA on GMAT ....my guide [#permalink]
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