AlexMBAApply wrote:
nink made some excellent points.
One thing I would add is about the social life in b-school.
As you may or may not know, "networking" is just another formal way of saying "making friends". Some are going to end up being close friends (even to the point where you may even be brothers from different mothers), some just merely friendly acquaintances.
However, what you want to just be aware of is how the social dynamic evolves over the course of 2 years.
I can't speak for every person who went to b-school, but at least in my own experience as well as others (both friends and past clients), is this:
In the first few months of school, it will feel like HIGH SCHOOL. Yes. High school. Not even college. After these few months (the first thanksgiving is usually the turning point), people do mellow out a bit, and there's far less posturing.
Everyone is insecure when they come into a new environment. Some students may know a handful of folks beforehand (i.e. went to the same college, worked in the same firm), but even then, few if any are really friends.
So just about everyone comes in with no real friends in the school.
And for some reason, it makes the group as a whole regress back to high school. We all get insecure, and we all want to be liked, and we all feel a bit nervous about "what if I don't make any friends?" or "I really want to establish my reputation" blah blah blah. Some may even inadvertently project their desire to be "that popular gal/guy" or the "man on campus" -- something they never really were in college or high school. Or trying to live up to some image of what a popular person should be, or trying to relive college days they never had.
Just know that EVERYONE, all your classmates, are feeling the same way you do in the first few months, no matter how much "posturing" some folks may do to overcompensate.
You'll probably even see some folks who try a bit too hard to be "that guy who everyone likes" or the "party central dude" or whatever. Or the guy who talks up a great game (whether they do it in a subtle or overt way) about their sexual conquests, name dropping as a way to show that they know important people, trying too hard to project that they're more outgoing than they really are, or even trying a bit tooooo hard to come across as more relaxed and chill than they really are.
But just know that it's all posturing. And you may even do it from time to time at a dinner party, drinking event, etc. Everyone is a bit insecure, and because it's been a while since you were "new" to a school (i.e. freshman year in college), for many of you, this will be the first time in a long time where you've been in an environment with a bunch of people roughly your age (because at work, you were likely one of a handful of youngins in a sea of old folks). As such, it's easy to even inadvertently assume that there's going to be a social pecking order (just like high school) and it's important to establish your social standing right away.
While there likely will be a lot of posturing (i.e. "look at me! I'm such a party hard dude!" or "I'm going to be that guy who has 500 of his closest friends from b-school over for a house party!") in an effort to outdo others in their extroversion, that will go away. People calm down. Most of us will eventually realize that no one in school really cares about that anyway, even if the initial insecurity of not knowing anyone may make one do some foolish things to get others to like them.
So long as you're normal and well adjusted, you WILL make friends. You WILL have a great time, without having to try sooooo hard to "network". So long as you're helpful to people without being overbearing, and you go to some social events (don't feel you need to go to EVERY one), you will do just fine. You may not make friends in the first few months, but a lot of people will be in the same boat, wondering where they should go on the weekends, who to socialize with, etc. Find a way to overcome that insecurity and just be yourself -- and you will find your place within the school with friends you love hanging out with.
Eventually, the people you really like will be your friends, and the people you don't like you won't have to really deal with them outside of academics.
And finally, don't take yourself too seriously. If you have a sense of humor about yourself, you'll likely get less stressed out in school, and you'll be able to also laugh at some of the absurdities and neurosis of some of your fellow classmates...
So true...had to find and re-read this just to make sure I wasn't going crazy! Thanks!
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28 Mar 2011, 06:40
