OFFICIAL EXPLANATIONProject SC Butler: Sentence Correction (SC1)
THE PROMPTInspired by the success of Disneyland Paris, one French politician wants to create France’s very own theme park devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte, with construction slated to begin in 2014, provided that enough funds are raised. • Long sentence, fully underlined?
→ find the subject and verb first.
In this case, they are close together and in agreement, at least in option A. (. . . politician wants . . .)
→ start checking noun modifiers. (GMAC tests adverb placement much less frequently than it tests adjective placement.)
That is, are the noun modifiers clearly describing the correct noun?
• "provided that"?
This phrase means
if or
only if or
on the condition that.THE OPTIONSQuote:
A) Inspired by the success of Disneyland Paris, one French politician wants to create France’s very own theme park devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte, with construction slated to begin in 2014, provided that enough funds are raised.
• I do not see any errors
• Modifiers are correctly placed and logical
→ Who or what is inspired by the success of Disneyland Paris?
We find out the answer immediately, exactly as we should: a French politician.
→
devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte is directly attached to and sensibly modifying
France's very own theme park.(We don't really care about this detail if, as in option E, for example, it is attached to Disneyland Paris.)
→ The original theme park, Disneyland Paris, is mentioned earlier in the sentence and before the anticipated and second theme park (the one devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte). Placing the original theme park well before the second theme park keeps the former "out of the way" of modifiers that otherwise might be confusing.
We understand that "with construction slated to begin in 2014, provided that" must apply to France's "very own theme park."
KEEP A
Quote:
B) Inspired by the success of Disneyland Paris with construction slated to begin in 2014, one French politician wants to create France’s very own theme park devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte, provided that enough funds are raised.
• modifier misplacement
→
with construction slated to begin in 2014 is placed after Disneyland Paris
→ this placement is confusing because it implies that the construction of Disneyland Paris is slated to begin in 2014. (Disneyland Paris has already been constructed; the politician has already been inspired by Disneyland Paris. Nonsensical.
ELIMINATE B
Quote:
C) One French politician wants to create France’s very own theme park devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte, inspired by the success of Disneyland Paris with construction slated to begin in 2014, provided that enough funds are raised.
• modifier misplacement
→ on the GMAT, a past participle (a verbED) such as
inspired, modifies the noun directly before that past participle and cannot modify a faraway subject or the entire previous clause.
This guideline is somewhat peculiar to GMAT and a couple of less-used style books.
On the GMAT, if you see a past participle (a verbED word), do not assume that it can "reach back" and touch its noun (in this case, one French politician).
In much of formal writing, past participles are allowed to modify more than just the preceding noun.
Not so on the GMAT.
• more modifier misplacement
→ the second error is similar to the problem in option B
→
With construction slated to begin in 2014, provided enough funds are raised should be placed closer to France’s very own theme park [that will be devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte], not directly after the mention of Disneyland Paris.
ELIMINATE C
Quote:
D) One French politician, inspired by the success of Disneyland Paris, wants to create France’s very own theme park devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte, with construction slated to begin, provided that enough funds are raised, in 2014.
• no clear error (e.g., modifiers are properly placed near their nouns) but the style of the sentence leaves much to be desired.
→ The sentence is choppy. Too many commas break the flow of the sentence.
You are not being tested on comma placement but rather on sentence flow.
Too many commas create choppy sentences. Compare this option to option A. Which one is easier to read and/or to understand?
→ Modifier placement in the last part of the sentence (including its flanking commas) creates an unwelcome stutter and a strange separation of ideas.
Why does
provided that enough funds are raised split another modifier into strange pieces?
No reason exists for the phrase
provided enough funds are raised to interrupt the modifier
with construction slated to begin . . . in 2014.
→ Compare to similar language in option A: . . .
with construction slated to begin in 2014, provided enough funds are raised.
On that count alone, never mind option A's superior arrangement of modifiers, option A is better.
Option D halts, stutters, and sputters. Option A, while not exactly balletic prose, is better crafted.
(
pardhu1212 , I hope that explanation answers your question about option D.)
ELIMINATE D
Quote:
E) With construction slated to begin in 2014, provided enough funds are raised, one French politician wants to create France’s very own theme park inspired by the success of Disneyland Paris devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte.
[/quote]
• modifier misplacement
→
provided enough funds are raised seems to modify
one French politician.
Remember: introductory past participle phrases must modify the subject of the next clause. (See
my post about six kind of introductory phrases, here.)
Well, in this case that subject is
one French politician.
Provided enough funds are raised? For what? To buy
him?
zhanbo , I hope that analysis helps reframe your perspective.
The "with" modifier is separate from the participle modifier—but even that modifier is dicey.
→ arguably,
devoted to Napoleon Bonaparte seems to "float," or to be tacked on.
Because past participles modify the immediately preceding noun, the phrase modifies
Disneyland Paris.That modification seems forced and interferes with the cohesion of the sentence.
As a logical matter, the function of "Disneyland Paris" is to act as a backdrop: the sentence tells us that its
success motivated one French politician to emulate it.
And because Disneyland Paris is a backdrop, we don't need specific, essential details about it.
Why are we getting these details?
And why are the details phrased this way?
When the part about Napoleon is attached to Disneyland Paris rather than to the hoped-for new theme park, the logic seems slightly off.
Compare this sentence to option A. Especially given the first error. Option A is superior.
ELIMINATE E
The best answer is A.COMMENTS
pardhu1212 , welcome to SC Butler.
These answers range from quite good to excellent.
Misplaced modifiers are hard to explain: you all have done well.
Kudos to all.