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Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks!

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Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 18 Apr 2014, 09:42
The following appeared as part of an article in a daily newspaper:
"The computerized on-board warning system that will be installed in commercial airliners will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. One plane's warning system can receive signals from another's transponder--a radio set that signals a plane's course--in order to determine the likelihood of a collision and recommend evasive action."

The author of the newspaper article is claiming that once computerized on-board warning systems are installed in commercial airlines, the midair plane collision problems will all be solved. The author's argument may be true, but there are other factors that should be looked upon first. Some of which include, statistical data which compares before and after the on-board system, the accuracy of the radio signals transmitted from the system, and other unaccountable external human factors. This essay will discuss each factor against the author's claim.

Firstly, one of the responsibilities of a commercial airliner is to safely transport passengers from point A to point B. The computerized on-board warning system appears to be a useful tool that can accomplish this, but the article lacks any statistical evidence to back up the claim. The author does not mention any type of simulation testing nor does he/she mention how airliners performed prior to the system versus after. Having statistical data would make the authors claim much stronger especially when passenger safety is at risk.

Secondly, the authors first statement claims the system to "virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions". This claim is misleading and alarming, it assumes there are currently many midair plane collisions, which the article does not clarify. The author mentions the airliners can use radio signals to communicate with each other. There is no information regarding how accurate radio signals are at the time of the article. Perhaps, there is better technology with a similar concept that airliners can use. Until more evidence is presented regarding the accuracy of the radio signals, the author's claim is too strong.

Thirdly, the author fails to consider external factors such as the weather and the pilot. Arguably, the most important factors to the success of a flight. There is no mention if the radio signals will still be reliable in the event of poor weather. There is no mention if a pilot can override the system and turn off the radio signals. These two factors alone make it difficult to believe that the proposed system can "virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions".

Overall, the authors argument contains many flaws that must be looked at before accepting such claim to be true. There are many factors that determine an airliners safety that has not been mentioned. The author needs to seek further statistical data prior to making such a strong claim.
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Re: Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 18 Apr 2014, 10:43
1
I think the essay is little shorter than expected. Content is good. I would give a 4.5. I myself got a 6.0 in the AWA.

I think you should use keywords like 'assumptions', 'flawed', 'argument', 'conclusion', 'premises', 'inadequate', 'alternate explanation', 'alternate theories', 'justified', etc. The machine reader, I believe, would look for keywords.
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Re: Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 19 Apr 2014, 20:16
Thanks for the reply!
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Re: Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks!  [#permalink]

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New post 25 Feb 2018, 10:14
Hello from the GMAT Club VerbalBot!

Thanks to another GMAT Club member, I have just discovered this valuable topic, yet it had no discussion for over a year. I am now bumping it up - doing my job. I think you may find it valuable (esp those replies with Kudos).

Want to see all other topics I dig out? Follow me (click follow button on profile). You will receive a summary of all topics I bump in your profile area as well as via email.
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Re: Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks! &nbs [#permalink] 25 Feb 2018, 10:14
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Please help to rate my AWA Essay, Thanks!

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