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please if you could evaluate my essay (toefl)

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Intern
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please if you could evaluate my essay (toefl)  [#permalink]

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New post 24 Dec 2014, 11:41
The essays are below. Any suggested corrections are appreciated.
============================================================
1)What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use
specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are
important.

I have always wanted to run my own company. The experiences I have had working under
others have made me recognize some of the important requirements of a good employer.
Indifference for one along with many other qualities make one a better boss.

The first quality is being fair and unbiased. I for one have faced such a bias or favourism
in my company. Though I was skilled and experienced enough my junior was promoted due to his
goodwill with the boss. This created lot of tension and heartburn among us effecting
our work. It is the same, in a “large scale” scenario. When the leader of a nation falls into favourism
or bias among people of different sectors of society. It creates a lot of turbulence and violence
disrupting the peace and progress of the nation. By being fair and indifferent to all a head
could run a healthy work environment efficiently generating better productivity from workers.

The second quality is clear delegation of work among employees. In my company we always have last minute
compilation of tasks. Though the work gets alloted beforehand, unclear instructions and prioritization of tasks
generates confusion. This results in delay of work until the last moment when the client ends up for delivery.
In a similar fashion, any workforce requires effective job assignment. Else the workforce ends up in
procrastination of work to later period. This inturn results in doubts and wastage of resource and time.
An organized workflow and specific instructions to employees keeps track of work progress saving businesses from loss.

Therefore, a good boss possess the above qualities such as indifferent to ones employees and properly clarifies workflow among them.

======================================================================================
A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some
people want a center for business research. Other people want a center
for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research
centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your
recommendation.

Agriculture is the back bone of my country's economy. Many people depend on it for their daily bread.
Due to lack of advancement in farming technologies the returns from it are on an all time low. In such a
situation, given a choice a research facility on agriculture would be an excellent choice. Food security
along with many other factors justify my opinion.

The first factor is ensuring food security of the country. Recently there were severe floods in the northern
part of my country. It resulted in heavy loss of farmland and food crops. The country faced a severe food crisis.
Food supplements were imported from outside to sustain the demand. In addition, many importsnt crop
strains were washed out from lands permanently. This resulted in heavy financial burden on
the country's economy. With a research center in place more information can be accumulated on sowing, reeping and
storage of food crops ; thereby ensuring food security in times of crisis.

The second factor is improvement in quality of food crops. With the current hike in prices of food stocks
I always end up eating the same vegetables in my diet. Out of boredom, many times I eat high fat fast food
which is cheap and unhealthy. This has triggered high cholestrol levels in my body making me obese.
Likewise, with inflation of food products many people nowadays fail to consume a wholesome meal
essential with vitamins, nutrients and minerals. This results in diseased such as malnutrition or obesity affecting the
good health of people. A research station would satisfy the comprehensive dietary requirements, sustaining
the human index of the nation.

Therefore, the above factors such as ensuring food security of the nation and advancement of quality of food crops
make the recommendation of an agricultural research facility justifiable.
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Re: please if you could evaluate my essay (toefl)  [#permalink]

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New post 05 Jan 2015, 11:42
Does it help if I evaluate your essay now? Is it too late?
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New post 05 Jan 2015, 16:45
Yes please. Your comments are welcome even now.
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New post 24 Mar 2015, 20:28
me too
I want to know more about it
Intern
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New post 14 Aug 2015, 01:46
I liked both of the essays, they totally satisfy all the demands from the task. The biggest part of the essays i read didn't include some of the point from the task.
Right now i'm preparing for the ielts test and wanted to know your opinion if it is okay to write an article like on the best essay help site ielts if in the task is written that i need to write an advertising article
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Re: please if you could evaluate my essay (toefl)  [#permalink]

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New post 27 Feb 2020, 14:58
Why don't you try a specialized service for that purpose?
GMAT Club Bot
Re: please if you could evaluate my essay (toefl)   [#permalink] 27 Feb 2020, 14:58

please if you could evaluate my essay (toefl)

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