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Please review my essay

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Joined: 21 Nov 2012
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Please review my essay [#permalink]

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New post 03 Dec 2012, 16:18
If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

My hometown is a small and not well developed. We can consider it as a rural town. There are many problems in my hometown such as illiteracy, poverty, lacking of proper hygiene and so on. I have left my town because of these problems. If I get a chance to change something of my hometown, I would like to change the illiteracy in my town. I feel this way because of several reasons. The first reason is that importance of education is more in today's world. Second reason is that literacy can solve many other problems.
To begin with, education is necessary for everyone’s life. The population of my town is around 2000, and hardly, 100-150 people are educated among them. Other people do not understand the importance of education. Their main occupation is agriculture, and they want their children to follow their steps. They can not recognize that education is essential to compete and survive in today’s era. If someone does something to educate them, they may understand the importance of education. This can change the life of our generation and our next generation. This can provide us better life to live.
Secondly, by removing illiteracy, we may solve other problems such as lack of proper hygiene, poverty and so on. If people are educated, they can understand the importance of cleanliness. In my hometown, people are used to wash their clothes in the river and the lake. We get the drinking water from the same sources. Many people get ill by drinking the same water. If they are educated, they can understand the importance of hygiene. They may stop to wash their stuffs in this water. Furthermore, in my hometown, people are poor. Their main income is farming. They work hard in their occupation, but they do not get much in return. They do not know the new techniques in farming. If they are educated, they can learn new techniques and may earn more money. This can change their lives.
To sum it up, there are many issues in my hometown to change. I feel the most important one is illiteracy. I think this way because it can change our lives and our next generation’s life, and we can solves many other problems such as cleanliness, poverty and so on. If you ask someone in our town, who is educated, he may feel the same way as me.

thank you
Please review my essay   [#permalink] 03 Dec 2012, 16:18
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