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Please review my TOEFL independent writing essay.

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Please review my TOEFL independent writing essay. [#permalink]

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New post 18 May 2013, 13:08
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Question : Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better?

"The greatest responsibility you will ever have is to yourself".
I strongly advocate that young adults should start their independent life as soon as possible. Yes, there will be many difficulties but the true essence of an independent life lies in facing them. I believe living independent life is a gateway to responsibility and accountability. Additionally, this distance strengthens the emotional bond with the family. As it is said, "Love is amplified by distances". I would like to illustrate two basic reasons why I support the decision of living independently at an earlier stage of adulthood.

First, a person living independent life becomes more responsible. He will face many difficult situations and in turn become a stronger person. Taking his own decisions will fill him with a sense of responsibility because his future will dwell on these little decisions. Only the person himself will be responsible for the outcomes of his choices resulting in accountability. I have some real-life examples to support my opinion. In my office, there is a girl who still lives with her parents at an age of twenty-eight! Almost everyone notices immaturity in her behavior. Whenever there is a new project in the team, she is reluctant to take the responsibility. She baffles very easily when circumstances are not in her favor. On the other hand, my manager is a very influential person. His sound decision-making and accountability make him a great leader. I could guess the reason behind his strengths when I came to know about his background. Due to his parent's death, he had to start an independent life at a very young age. Such examples depict the advantages of autonomous living.

In addition to building of a strong personality, distance between you and your family increase the affection. Generation gap has always been there. When a person enters the adult age, his many opinions may differ from parent's opinions. This difference may sometimes cause disputes in families. I have seen it in my family. My brother became financially independent when he entered his twenties and his involvement in many important family matters increased. Many times he and my father had different point of views, which caused clashes in their egos. If the person is living away from his family, there will be no interference. We value something most when we do not have it. So, these distances increase the value of relationships.

Definitely, an independent life develops overall personality, making us strong and responsible. It also increases the affability in relationships with the family members. A young adult should choose to live an independent life as soon as possible.
As they say, "It’s a magical world. Let’s go exploring!"
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Re: Please review my TOEFL independent writing essay. [#permalink]

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New post 21 May 2013, 06:08
Could you please grade my essay?

Which you prefer studying alon or with a group of students?

The most productive way of studying is the balanced method of learning which includes both doing tasks alone and with a group. In my opinion some subject demand working solely on particular problem, whereas discussing the questions about the others is crucial part of grasping them. Personally, I use both of them and satisfied by my school results.
Mathematic and the other applied sciences, such as chemistry, physics and etc. claims ultimate concentration and when there is any interruption from outer world it becomes extremely hard to work out a difficult problem. However, after answering those question that are asked about the subject I mentioned previously, it is better to discourse the results with your friends in order to be sure of the accuracy of your solving methods or find out some sorts of shortcuts for avoiding to waste your time. On the other hand, presenting your specific ways in math you help your classmates and their own they will do the same.
For learning history, literature and foreign languages working with groups is the best. For instance, while learning about particular historical event which contains a great deal of dates and important points, you can discuss it with class and even get extra information about the material you are learning. The same situation happens with students who learn foreign languages. Learning new language and improving it requires a vast collection of vocabulary. Therefore, by talking and giving questions to each other you can understand and even brush up on your old skills which will be helpful in the study life.
To sum up, I have to underline that no matter which way you choose for studying efficiently, it is better to choose it according to your skills and capacity as without doing that it is impossible to be successful. That's why the best way of learning and succeeding at school up to how well you know yourself.
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Re: Please review my TOEFL independent writing essay. [#permalink]

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New post 02 Jun 2013, 21:29
What are all the skills needed to write an Independent essay?

Want your tips and suggestions !!
Re: Please review my TOEFL independent writing essay.   [#permalink] 02 Jun 2013, 21:29
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Please review my TOEFL independent writing essay.

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