Dating Scene

by far the geekest anlaysis of bschool dating scene.

THE DATING WRITE-UP: Best Practices For Finding Love in B-School

An Analysis Using Porter's Five Forces

https://media.www.harbus.org/media/stora ... 7059.shtml

I can live with shady.

RF

I love the "hella shady" phrase. Reminds me when I was back in Cali.

No one uses the half and seven rule anymore? I feel old. In my undergrad days, people joked (half-seriously though) that the minimum dating date is your age divided by half (rounded down) plus seven. So if you're 25, your SO should be 19 or older. I'm just saying.... but this rule was probably invented by some dirty old man, heh.

Oh this rule still applies. It's still quoted often (and not just by me )

I think another reason he mentioned undergrads is the lack of commonality between the two. Think about meshing social circles...MBA Guy/Girl is surrounded by professional, driven people working hard to secure an internship/job. You've been through a good deal in life, many friends are now married with children, etc. Undergrad Dude/Chick may be 20 years old, undecided on a major with the only known being spending next semester in Italy with some girlfriends. Their social circle is mostly like-minded young people who always know the cheapest place to score a keg. The two groups don't mingle all that well.

And I know, I know...what if the other person is super mature!?!? It may happen. Just know that your classmates, who will become your new professional network, may not be too enthralled if their good buddy MBA Guy/Girl spends all their social time with undergrads at Quarter Pitcher Night at Waldo's. There's a delicate balance to be struck, most def.

Sometimes I wish I could be anonymous.

Anyhow, I have a different perspective on this.

In school, there are usually a handful of guys who get a reputation for dating undergrads. And they get teased for it. It's mostly good natured ribbing, nothing too serious or indignant (at least when I was in school). And I hear you all about the "different stages of life" blah blah blah.

However, my view now is: WHO CARES.

If you want to, go for it. Seriously. You'll likely have a great time. Don't rationalize yourself out of doing something if your impulse takes you there.

This whole "different stages of life" also presupposes a lot -- that you guys with a few years' experience are that much more mature and "adult" than the undergrads.

And the truth is, you're not. You think you are, but you're not that grown up yet. Especially if you're still single or not yet married, believe me, you're not as grown up as you think.

Looking back at myself and a lot of my fellow classmates and peers, at least amongst the folks with no children, the only substantive difference between us and the undergrads was a bigger bank account, and a taste of the real world. But emotionally and mentally, we were still wrestling with many of the "who am I really?" identity issues that the undergrads faced. A lot of the base insecurities all the way from childhood remain. Yes, you have more exposure to the world, but are you really sure you know that much more about yourself as a person than you were in undergrad? A bit more perspective and maturity perhaps, but you're not *that* far removed from your undergrad days. You have the same kinds of neurosis, inferiority complexes, self image issues, parental issues, etc. that you've had since you were in junior high. You want to fit in, you want others to really like you, you really care what others think of you, and so forth. It's all normal. I've seen most people change the most after they've gotten married, and especially after they have children. Or something monumental in their lives - a death in the family, or some life-changing circumstance, or simply age (you won't be the same person in your late 30s or 40s).

A lot of MBAs seem to be torn between trying to relive their youth in school, and being in a huge rush to be "adult" and older than they are.

Most of you guys (and gals) are in your mid- to late-20s. Don't feel like you're in a rush to become an adult. Because when you're in your 40s, you'll wish you were a lot younger. Consider it an opportunity to do what you can't really do and to be what you can't be when you eventually become domesticated.

Not saying that everyone should date undergrads haha (or any undergrad) but don't presuppose that they're off limits or anything.

Also, if you are to date one, it's not because they want you to join them at some frat/sorority party or anything. They are hoping you can offer what the undergrad guys can't really offer. Which is a window into your world. Going to a nice restaurant. Going to nicer clubs. Maybe even something more cultured. They want to feel a little more adult, and being with you will make them feel that way. Of course, guys are just guys (whether a college dude or a grad school dude) - the desire and goals are the same - just the path to get there will change. As I said before, you aren't that much more mature in b-school than college (not as much as you think), but that illusion of maturity is what they are looking for in you. Of course, not every undergrad will want to date you (some will simply think "ewww. Old" but some will. Note I'm only speaking about guys - no idea how it works with women MBAs dating undergrad guys, or the gay scene (which is a whole other ballgame, no pun intended).

And if you're worried about "MBA network" or "reputation amongst your classmates" -- believe me no one will really care as much as you think. In fact, as time goes on quite a number whether they admit it or not would've wished they went after undergrads too when they had the chance.

Just got back from Cornell's admit weekend.

Reportedly, MANY MBA students were regularly taking a dip into the undergrad pool. And frankly, I don't see anything wrong with this.

Agreed with Alex above (though perhaps more succinctly - heh heh ). Having met plenty of folks in B-school, are we really kidding ourselves that we and our fellow MBAs are really that much more "mature" than undergrads? Sure, we're a few years older, have some more "real world" experience, yadda yadda. But there are still gonna be plenty of wannabe frat boys or ditzy chicks in your finance class. And there are some really cool undergrads out there. So me, I'm totally open to gunning for undergrads.

Building off what Alex said...dating undergrads wont tank your reputation and keep you from ever leveraging classmates in the future. Though I know some girls find it scummy of guys, especially if they are going through a new one every month or less. You definitely will get a lot of ribbing from classmates...you better be prepared to handle a bunch of people busting on you. One thing not to overlook is how old you are. If you are 24 people probably wont bat an eyelash but if youare 30+ then it starts to look worse. Also there definitely is the double standard, if a girl did it then it would be looked at as very strange but for guys its not so bad.

Dating between other grad programs is totally acceptable, even if that person just graduated last year. There just isn't the stigma attached to dating a girl who graduated from college already.
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nice post. will definitely show this to my wife. (who will be halfway around the world for most part of my MBA)

All of this sounds very familiar. I moved overseas to do my undergrad, met a bunch of exciting and interesting people, broke up with my then long distance girlfriend and went through this whole whirlwind of dating, crushes, breakups and rejections etc before settling into a stable healthy and happy relationship with my present wife (been married 2 years now).

This time around , I feel stronger and more prepared. With no 'distractions' , I look forward to making good friends, focussing on getting good grades and trying hard for the MC job Ive always wanted. Feels good to be 'grown up' !

ps :for guys who want to hook up with undergrads..I say whatever floats your boat man as long as you can spin it well. If Bill Clinton can get away with it, why not an MBA student ?

Random question but has anyone read Neil Strauss's The Game? Is anyone involved in the pickup community?
Would wonder what "gaming" is like in business school... must be pretty easy with girls in bars/clubs who are impressed but smarts/pedigree

another random question. Did a Tuck Prof just marry a Tuck student?

EDIT: Oh, it's a former student, that sounds less scandalous.

Where did you see that?

RF

On one of the pages linked in the campus news thread. she's like T'05 and he's a Professor now. when I first read it though I didn't catch the date so I was kinda confused.

I will heed Alex's advice.

I would guess after a couple years no one will ever care about who you dated in b-school. May my impulses guide me.

I liked it - good insight - and I am definitely nervous about bringing a relationship to school.

Thanks for the overview. It's not easy being a partner or a B-schooler with a partner during the MBA program.

There is quite a book guidebook that recently came out, just for MBA Partners: The Unofficial Guide to B-School Partner Life: Balancing between the B-School Bubble and Reality

You can find it on Amazon here : https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/154249060X/

Blurb:
Writing from her own experience, the author offers a go-to guide that’s honest, pragmatic, and empowering. The Unofficial Guide to B-School Partner Life is an indispensable guide for MBA (or B-school) partners who want to make the most out of their experience.

Your significant other has been accepted into their dream business school. Hours of deliberation later, fast-forward and there you are, on campus at the beloved B-school. From that instant, the B-school life takes over, from morning classes, weekend projects, and late-night after-parties to group work and class happy hours. Time alone together has now become rare. You start to think, “What am I doing here? Where do I fit in?”

With this book, learn how to navigate your way through and, ultimately, thrive in the B-school bubble, all while building your network and having a great time along the way. This all-in-one guide provides a pragmatic approach that will help you master the ins and outs of B-school partner life before you know it.

Enjoy it, and hope it helps!