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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted

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Verbal Question of The Day: Day 86: Sentence Correction


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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted [#permalink]

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New post 21 Aug 2017, 11:51
I’m not sure why, but this question seems to punk my students fairly often. So if you struggled with it, you’re not alone!

Quote:
(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

This is a little bit tricky to spot, but “drafting” is an “-ing” modifier, and it needs to make sense with the subject that follows. But we never really get a subject that makes sense: the main clause is just “included in it by the author… was a call for female enfranchisement.” Elizabeth Cady Stanton is basically just a modifier here, but the sentence would only work if she’s the subject. (A) is out.

Quote:
(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

I’m not crazy about the “including a call for female enfranchisement” at the beginning, since that phrase would suggest that we’re introducing some sort of example, and that doesn’t make sense. But the much, much bigger issue is the phrase “that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.” It looks like it’s modifying the convention, and that doesn’t make sense. (More on “that” modifiers in this article.) (B) is gone.

Quote:
(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

I like the modifiers in this one, but the verb tenses don’t quite work. The word “when” suggests that two actions happened at the same time, but that’s not reflected in the verb tenses: “When the Declaration of Sentiments… was adopted…, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.” That doesn’t make sense: if we’re using “when”, the tenses would have to be the same. Eliminate (C).

Quote:
(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

This isn’t even a sentence. To have a sentence, we need an independent clause, with subject and a main verb. The structure here is “Noun, modifier, modifier.” The subject, “a call for female enfranchisement” is never actually paired with a verb. (D) fails.

Quote:
(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

No problems here! The sentence starts with “when”, and the verb tenses are nice and consistent: all simple past, throughout the whole thing. The modifier beginning with “that” correctly modifies the Declaration of Sentiments. (E) is our winner.
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My Answer: E

When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. --The modifiers are all misplaced. "When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848" should modify Elizabeth and hence should be next to it. Also the last statement "was a call for female enfranchisement" is awkwardly modifying Elizabeth.

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. --Again the initial modifier is misplaced. It should modify Elizabeth. Also, in the latter half of the sentence "that" is wrongly suggesting that Elizabeth wrote Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. --The structure is not quiet clear. When the declaration was adopted, a call had been included. It can be written in a far better way.

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. --First and foremost, a "comma" should't appear before "that" in this option. Secondly This sentence is not complete.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. --Correct. The meaning of the sentence is clear and all the modifiers modify their respective nouns clearly.
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. --- Modification error. After 1848, ECS must come

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. --- She didn't write the convention

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. --- a meaning error--- The call was included when the author drafted the Declarations and not when it was adopted

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. --- fragment

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. --- correct choice.

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Need a little help here. I took 2:30 Sec to solve this and I got E as correct option.
But In real GMAT, 2:30 is really a very bad timing and it should be anyhow under 1:30.

The favor I want from your side is "How to solve these type of fully underlined Question in less time". Also, Usually I end up reading the Question and options more than 2-3 times and it became confusing even after so many reading so many times.

Thanks in advance for your positive reply.

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New post 22 Aug 2017, 06:21
+1 for E. The question suffers from modifier error. In C vs E , I preferred option E because it is in active voice. Besides there is a meaning error in C too. The call was included when it was drafted not adopted. E wins !
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted [#permalink]

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New post 23 Aug 2017, 20:37
daagh wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. --- Modification error. After 1848, ECS must come

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. --- She didn't write the convention

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. --- a meaning error--- The call was included when the author drafted the Declarations and not when it was adopted

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. --- fragment

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. --- correct choice.



===========================================================

Very nice explanation given.

Need a little help here. I took 2:30 Sec to solve this and I got E as correct option.
But In real GMAT, 2:30 is really a very bad timing and it should be anyhow under 1:30.

The favor I want from your side is "How to solve these type of fully underlined Question in less time". Also, Usually I end up reading the Question and options more than 2-3 times and it became confusing even after so many reading so many times.

Thanks in advance for your positive reply.

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Isnt the use of 'it' in choice (E) ambiguous?. It can refer to the "Declaration of Sentiments" or the "Convention"

Please let me know what I am thinking wrong (or right).

Thanks !

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted [#permalink]

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senti_pra Same thought, hope someone can help shed some light on this!

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted [#permalink]

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senti_pra wrote:
Isnt the use of 'it' in choice (E) ambiguous?. It can refer to the "Declaration of Sentiments" or the "Convention"

Please let me know what I am thinking wrong (or right).

Thanks !



Hello senti_pra,

I will be glad to help you resolve your doubt. :-)

Following the sentence with Choice E:

When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

Read the sentence carefully and understand what it conveys. The sentence says that when ECS drafted the DoS, she includes in it a call for female enfranchisement. Her action of including is related to the her action of drafting. And what did she draft? The DoC. So whatever she included, she included in the DoC.So there is no reference ambiguity related to the usage of it in Choice E.

Also note that the that clause after the DoC presents some extra information about the DoC. If we remove this clause from the sentence, then there will be no room for nay confusion about the pronoun reference.

Please bear in mind that presence of multiple nouns does not make the pronoun reference ambiguous. If a pronoun logically refers to more than one noun in a sentence, then we get pronoun reference error.

Hope this helps. :-)
Thanks.
Shraddha
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New post 24 Aug 2017, 14:40
gmathelp101 wrote:
senti_pra Same thought, hope someone can help shed some light on this!



Hello gmathelp101,

Kindly look at my response to senti_pra 's query.


Hope this helps. :-)
Thanks.
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egmat makes sense now ! Thanks !

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted [#permalink]

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New post 25 Aug 2017, 00:36
Merged topics. Please, search before posting questions!
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted [#permalink]

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New post 28 Aug 2017, 10:03
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

structure and meaning error : incorrect

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

meaning error : a draft cant not include a call by itself : incorrect

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

use of 'Had been' is wrong ; a call was included before draft got adopted.

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Incorrect


(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

Correct

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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted   [#permalink] 28 Aug 2017, 10:03

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