Saluda Natural Spring Water AWA - Please rate and give feedback!
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Updated on: 28 May 2018, 06:32
Hi everyone, just wondering if I could please get some feedback on my essay for the following prompt. Feel free to rate out of 6. Thanks in advance!
Prompt:
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine:
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
Essay:
The article in the health-and-fitness magazine argues that Saluda Natural Spring water is a smart investment in one’s good health, despite being expensive. In doing so, the magazine makes a number of assumptions: that the residents of Saluda actually drink Salulda Natural Spring Water; that the low frequency of the residents’ hospitalisation is caused by drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water; and that the benefits of Saluda Natural Spring Water outweigh the costs. As a result of making these assumptions, the argument opens itself up to debate and, therefore, is flawed.
Firstly, the argument links the residents’ good health to Saluda Natural Spring Water, which is bottled in Saluda. In doing so, an assumption is made that residents of Saluda actually drink this water. This assumption can not be made without evidence because there are many possible reasons for why residents of Saluda may not drink Saluda Natural Spring Water. It could be the case that residents of Saluda can not afford bottled spring water and, as a result, drink tap water. Perhaps the residents can afford bottled spring water but choose to drink bottled spring water from another brand which sources their water differently. As we can see, without explicitly stating that residents of Saluda drink Saluda Natural Spring Water the article can not logically link the residents’ good health to Saluda Natural Spring Water.
Secondly, the magazine assumes that Saluda Natural Spring Water is the reason for the low frequency of Saluda residents’ hospitalisations. Since correlation does not imply causation, this assumption is weak. The article does not address the possibility that the residents’ good health is caused by other lifestyle factors. It could be the case that people living in Saluda eat very healthily or that their active lifestyle reduces their chances of hospitalisations. In fact Saluda Natural Spring Water could even be harmful to one’s health and the residents, because of other lifestyle factors, would still have low hospitalisation rates. Perhaps, because of cultural reasons, residents of Saluda do not visit the hospital even when they are in poor health. Therefore, the fact that Saluda residents are hospitalised less frequency does not necessarily imply that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water is beneficial for one’s health.
Finally, the article claims that the drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water is a wise investment in good health. Even if Saluda Natural Spring Water does lead to better health, this claim can not be made without calculating how much a person can save. Better health will presumably lead to lower health insurance costs, lower medical fees, and increased productivity. However, even if these benefits do result the article can not make the claim that these benefits outweigh the costs of buying Saluda Natural Spring Water. There is every possibility that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water leads to $100 per year in reduced medical fees but that it costs $200 per year to buy the water. As a result, without providing the numerical evidence the magazine can not strongly suggest that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water is a wise investment in good health.
While the argument does make a number of weak assumptions, it could be strengthened by including additional evidence. By mentioning the per capital consumption of Saluda Natural Spring Water in Saluda, identifying differences between Saluda and national lifestyle, and calculating the actual savings from drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water the argument could become much more convincing.
Originally posted by
wolfgangkhan on 28 May 2018, 06:23.
Last edited by
wolfgangkhan on 28 May 2018, 06:32, edited 1 time in total.