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TOEFL Writing Essay on topic Independence of young adults

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Joined: 16 Jun 2017
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TOEFL Writing Essay on topic Independence of young adults  [#permalink]

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New post 16 Jun 2017, 05:20
Hello gmatclub,

Would you kindly rate this essay and provide possible improvements and feedback?

The task:

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situation do you think is better?

Essay:

In some cultures, moving out of your parents house as soon as possible is very common. In other cultures, young adults prefer to live with their parents as long as possible. Which is the better way, or is there even a better and right way?

Living with parents surely has it perks, especially financially. One usually does not have to pay for food and rent and sometimes you don't even have to ever do daily chores, depending on how dedicated the family members are or if the family can afford a house keeper. Additionally, if there are family members that rely on their families help like elderly people, I think this is a very good reason to stay at home and help your parents as much as possible.
On the contrary, there are values and skills one can only learn by living indepently. This includes daily chores like cooking, washing dishes and washing clothes. I have personal experience: When I first moved out, I could not cook, I was barely washing dishes and I almost never washed my own clothes. I gradually learnt how to cook, a skill I now deem very important. Furthermore I do all chores myself now, which makes me feel a lot of more self-reliant. Also there comes a time where every young adult should move out. In Germany, there is also a certain kind of social stigma about this topic. One shouldn't say: "I live with my parents", when they're for example 30 years old, even more so when he/she is on a date or something similar. This could give the impression that this person has not learn to live on his/her own all his life.

There is a saying that summarizes my position really well: When your children grow up, give them roots. Then your children are grown up, give them wings.


Kind regards,
RM
GMAT Club Bot
TOEFL Writing Essay on topic Independence of young adults   [#permalink] 16 Jun 2017, 05:20
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