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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted

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22 Oct 2007, 05:53
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

b. Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

c. When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

e. When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
[Reveal] Spoiler: OA

Last edited by PiyushK on 16 Jul 2014, 01:07, edited 1 time in total.
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22 Oct 2007, 06:44
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huoguo wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included n it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included n it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

b. Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

c. When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

e. When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

could you explain why the answer is ( )?

E for direct and active. could be C but didnot like passive and "had been".
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31 Jul 2011, 20:02
Isn't there a pronoun problem in E? Does the pronoun "it" refer to the draft or the convention?
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31 Jul 2011, 22:26
+1 for E.

I don't like the question. Is it "Convention" or "Conventions" ?

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01 Aug 2011, 05:12
+1 for E... Would love to know the OA for this
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02 Aug 2011, 09:16
E is the most direct, but I definitely agree with the problem of "it" that can be resolved if OP clarifies about convention vs conventions.
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10 Aug 2011, 12:59
Is E not run on sentence. Or it is not because of usage of "when" in first sentence.
I removed E for above reason along with "it" issue.
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14 May 2012, 11:21
OA is E

I encounter the same problem today on GMAT prep and the answer is E
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15 May 2012, 11:57
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Hi All,

When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

The way this sentence is written the meaning is not very clear. So let us decipher the meaning first. We get some information from this sentence. Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS. She included in it a call for female enfranchisement. This DoS was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848.

Error Analysis:

1. Modifier “When drafting …” is ambiguous in its role. We don’t know what it is modifying.
2. This sentence needs to be written in a way so that the meaning is easy to comprehend.

POE:

Choice A: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included n it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. Incorrect for the reason stated above.

Choice B: Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. Incorrect.
1. The opening modifier is illogically modifying “a draft”. The draft did not do the action of including the call.
2. This choice fails to say that who included the call for women enfranchisement in the DoS.

Choice C: When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. Incorrect. This choice fails to say who included the call in the DoS.

Choice D: A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. Incorrect. This choice lacks a main verb and hence is a fragment.

Choice E: When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. Correct. All the information is clearly given in this choice.

PS- Pronoun “it” clearly refers to DoS because the sentence clearly says that Stanton drafted the DoS, and when she drafted it, she included in “it” (DoS) the call for women enfranchisement.

Hope this helps.
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14 Jul 2013, 03:24
Is this question really 700 level? It was the first question I got on GMAT prep
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15 Jul 2014, 12:47
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A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. - ambiguous it, A person can't be a call, Dependent caluse and main clause dont makes any sens

B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. - That starts a clause- verb missing in the last part;

C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. - had been is wrong here.

D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention. -It means that call was adopted. Original sentence says that draft was adopted

E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. - Correct choice
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01 Mar 2015, 20:49
HII experts ,

i have a dount in CHOICE E

isnt there a SV dis agreement where THAT refers to sediments and not declaration.

i m in an impression that when ever you use PRONOUN 'THAT' the subject becomes the preceding noun and not the main subject ahead of prep phrase.

a declaration of sediments was adopted is correct.

a declartation of sediments that were adopted is correct ?

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02 Jul 2015, 08:01
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

a When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848,included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

When -> Is to indicate a time frame and some other happened when declaration was adopted.
And also modification is a issue here.

When scoring runs for India, Virat didn't think anything apart from cricket
Here who is doing the action of scoring -> Virat so the noun should come at the start of the independent clause.
Hence we require the author at the head of the independent clause.

And the independent clause "included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement" is quite convoluted.

b. Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

Including -> is a verb+ing modifier (participle modifier) So we need the noun which can get modified by the modifier "Including a call for female enfranchisement" and that is definitely nor "draft "

So modifier error.

c. When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

We are talking about two parallel events and that is the reason why we have "when". There is no reason to use "past perfect" as past perfect is used to order two past events occurred at two different times.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.

e. When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

This is the least of the devil and hence correct

viper1991 wrote:
HII experts ,

i have a dount in CHOICE E

isnt there a SV dis agreement where THAT refers to sediments and not declaration.

i m in an impression that when ever you use PRONOUN 'THAT' the subject becomes the preceding noun and not the main subject ahead of prep phrase.

a declaration of sediments was adopted is correct.

a declartation of sediments that were adopted is correct ?

viper1991 : There is something called as essential modifier.

Consider the below example:

I sold a car with bose speakers that has state of the art air conditioning system.

What does that refer to? Speakers or Car.

Now somethings we need to consider:
That/which can jump over the modifiers to refer to other nouns. The rules for that are:
1) It should be essential modifier.
For example "with bose speakers" is an essential modifier and cannot be placed anywhere else.
2) There is no ambiguity in the meaning.
For example :
Speakers cannot have state of the air AC so it makes sense to modify the cars.

Hence that can refer to cars.

Similarly, you can apply here.

Let me know if you have further doubts.
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02 Jul 2015, 23:26
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.
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04 Jul 2015, 10:33
anewbeginning wrote:
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.

What is included "A call for female enfranchisement " or "female enfranchisement". Rule for Verb+ed (past participle modifier)is -> it modifies the closest noun. So as per the definition, "female enfranchisement" is included and not call. Yes, verb+ed modifier can jump over essential modifier and can refer to the call but both the meaning is possible and that makes the usage ambiguous.

Let me know if you have further doubts.
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04 Jul 2015, 12:22
kinjiGC wrote:
anewbeginning wrote:
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.

What is included "A call for female enfranchisement " or "female enfranchisement". Rule for Verb+ed (past participle modifier)is -> it modifies the closest noun. So as per the definition, "female enfranchisement" is included and not call. Yes, verb+ed modifier can jump over essential modifier and can refer to the call but both the meaning is possible and that makes the usage ambiguous.

Let me know if you have further doubts.

Can you please explain the second highlighted text
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04 Jul 2015, 21:02
anewbeginning wrote:
anewbeginning wrote:
kinjiGC wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

d. A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

Included -> Verb+ed modifier -> this modifier should modify the closest noun which is "enfranchisement". "female" is an adjective which is modifying "enfranchisement".
[b]So "enfranchisement" was included in draft -> which is wrong.
-- I don't see an issue here. call for enfranchisement was included in the draft. Didn't this mean that the 'draft was included in the enfranchisement'

Another issue is

Since we have a modifier 'included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848" between the comma pairs so we can remove the modifier as the modifier doesn't change the sentence structure.

So the sentence becomes "A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention". So that can refer to either "enfranchisement " or a call (in this case as "for female enfranchisement" becomes a essential modifier for "A call" so that can refer to "A call"). Either of them doesn't make sense.[/b]

^^ Please if you can explain the above point, this is not clear

I have posted my doubts in highlighted text.

Can you please explain the second highlighted text

D) A call for female enfranchisement , included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention

", included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, " -> is a modifier within a comma pair . So we can remove the modifier to check the sentence structure. Removing a modifier shouldn't impact the core sentence at all.

After removing the modifier, the sentence becomes:
A call for female enfranchisement that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention

that should refer to the nearest noun -> "female enfranchisement" or "A call" -> Either of them wasn't adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention

In fact, "Declaration of Sentiments" was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention as per the original meaning of the sentence

Let me know if you have further doubts
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29 Nov 2015, 10:08
egmat wrote:
Hi All,

When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

The way this sentence is written the meaning is not very clear. So let us decipher the meaning first. We get some information from this sentence. Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS. She included in it a call for female enfranchisement. This DoS was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848.

Error Analysis:

1. Modifier “When drafting …” is ambiguous in its role. We don’t know what it is modifying.
2. This sentence needs to be written in a way so that the meaning is easy to comprehend.

POE:

Choice A: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included n it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. Incorrect for the reason stated above.

Choice B: Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. Incorrect.
1. The opening modifier is illogically modifying “a draft”. The draft did not do the action of including the call.
2. This choice fails to say that who included the call for women enfranchisement in the DoS.

Choice C: When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. Incorrect. This choice fails to say who included the call in the DoS.

Choice D: A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. Incorrect. This choice lacks a main verb and hence is a fragment.

Choice E: When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. Correct. All the information is clearly given in this choice.

PS- Pronoun “it” clearly refers to DoS because the sentence clearly says that Stanton drafted the DoS, and when she drafted it, she included in “it” (DoS) the call for women enfranchisement.

Hope this helps.
Thanks.

Just a thought. In option C, where its mentioned that Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS, wouldn't it be obvious who included the call? Do we have anything else, that makes it a wrong choice?

Regards
Swanidhi
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29 Nov 2015, 22:19
swanidhi wrote:
Just a thought. In option C, where its mentioned that Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the DoS, wouldn't it be obvious who included the call? Do we have anything else, that makes it a wrong choice?

Perhaps making it very clear, as option E does, is better.

Also "the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton" is not as direct as "Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments". I believe that C is using passive voice. While passive voice might not always be incorrect, we should still prefer the active voice, if it is justified.

Also C uses past perfect tense "had been included" while E is entirely in simple past. Though I feel both are ok here, let's see what experts have to say.
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30 Nov 2015, 01:26
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I think folks have touched on both the main problems with C, but I want to add some detail to them.

1) It's a problem not to say who included the call for female enfranchisement. Sure, it would be natural to assume that it was the author, but in that case it would be natural to say so. By not saying so, we seem to imply that some other mysterious person included it.

2) The use of the past perfect is a problem here. The past perfect tells us that something happened before some other past event. In this case, that would mean that the call was included before the Declaration was adopted. But why are we saying this? If we assume that the Declaration was written before it was adopted, then wouldn't all of its parts already have been included? Why are we going out of our way to say that this part was included before the adoption? After all, we only use past perfect when we particularly want to stress the order of events. (We wouldn't say "When King Lear made its premiere, Shakespeare had written it.") On the other hand, if the point was that the call was added later as part of the adoption process (and maybe not by Stanton), past perfect wouldn't do the job at all.
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted   [#permalink] 30 Nov 2015, 01:26

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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted

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