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# When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted

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05 Aug 2008, 16:51
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.
(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.
(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.
(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.
(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
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05 Aug 2008, 17:16
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IMO E

micky577 wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.
(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. (passive)
(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. (passive)
(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.
(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

It is a close call b/w C and E; however C is passive and the use of "had" is wrong. For active it should be subject + object rather than object + subject.

In C you have object (decleration) followed by subhect (Elizabeth)

E is correct
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24 Oct 2014, 14:11
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26 Mar 2017, 18:15
https://gmatclub.com/forum/when-draftin ... 54285.html
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27 Mar 2017, 06:51
micky577 wrote:
When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.
(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.
(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.
(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention.
(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

I think differently.
I think in C, "had been" is correct because this "had been" precede logically " was adopted". So, why C is wrong
This is hard one.
the reason for which C is wrong is passive. the focus of sentence is on who do including. this is main idea of the sentence. the passive in C distort the meaning by not showing the agent of including.

the problem is the lesion of difference between passive and active mode. we use passive when the action is the focus. we use active when the agent of action is the focus

very interesting point
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28 Mar 2017, 10:19
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement. --- This is the in passive voice while E is in active voice. That is the reason that A is inferior to E.

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.-- altered and absurd intent. Cady didn't write the convention

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it. -- altered intent. The female enfranchisement was included only when the draft was being made, not before.

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention. --- A fragment of a sentence. There is no action verb.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. --- A perfect complex sentence in active voice. It refers to the draft. This is the best choice.

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29 Mar 2017, 00:21
victory47, you're right that the inclusion of the call for female enfranchisement could have preceded the adoption of the Declaration. I'll take it a step further and say that it must have preceded the adoption. When a group adopts a document, first the document is written and possibly amended, and adoption would typically be the last step. For this reason, past perfect is entirely unnecessary! Remember that while past perfect is certainly used to refer to one event that preceded another, it is only needed when that time relationship needs to be made clear. For instance, I would never say "Marie had been born in Poland and died in France." Of course she was born before she died, so we don't need past perfect to make our meaning clear!

Another problem with C is that in shifting to the passive voice in the second half, it obscures who included the call for female enfranchisement. It should make clear, as E does, that Stanton included the call herself. As it is written in C, I'd assume that some mysterious person or group inserted this call into Stanton's document. It feels something like this: "When my article was finally printed, I was surprised to find that a disclaimer had been added to it."
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Re: When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted   [#permalink] 29 Mar 2017, 00:21
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