skmartina,
I think you can aim relatively high. You have several things working for you: IIT branding, better-than-average international experience, relatively distinctive goals, and best of all strong leadership. Your gender helps 'offset' the fact that you're applying from the competitive South Asian demographic. Whether you are really competitive at HBS and Stanford will depend on how deep your profile is, e.g., leadership outside of work? strong personal story? etc. But based on what you gave me you certainly seem like good material for Kellogg, MIT, and perhaps INSEAD. Have you considered schools like Essec, SDA Bocconi, or NYU Stern? Feel free to send me your resume/CV for a closer look:
[email protected].