aaudetat wrote:
this makes me ill.
coming from where i do, you hear about white privilege and the privilege of wealth all the time. it wasn't until I came to grad school that i started to see it. like my friend whose dad is paying for her tuition and who had an internship in college at a fortune 100 company - because her dad was the CFO. She's a good, smart person and works her a$$ off, but you can't tell me that her birth hasn't helped her enormously. no one i grew up with knows anyone in fortune 500 companies.
our society is structured in such a way that that networks matter. that where you've been DOES make a difference in where you'll get to.
you can work your way through it - i would say that i have done so. my parents, in spite of their humble roots, always pushed me to move forward, to get out and do more than they did, more than anyone I grew up with. i found myself completely shocked that i could, if i wanted to, get a job next spring making more than any two (or even three) people in my family ever made. but even still - even with my solid (though certainly less prestigious) undergraduate degree, my success in my former work, and my top 15 mba and high gpa - i am still behind. i don't know what to wear, don't look the same when i do wear it, and don't have the money to buy it. I still sound like i'm from a small town in the midwest (even if barely).
so even my success story has thorns.
i write all this because i am tired of hearing that people need to help themselves. when i hear this, what i hear is "low-income people and the middle class need to help themselves, but everyone else can use mom's networks and daddy's pocketbook."
I probably sound bitter, and i guess I probably am. but mostly, i just wish we could all admit that the playing field ISN'T even. I don't have the answers - there probably isn't one - but could we all just admit that getting ahead is a function of both luck and bootstraps?
I can understand your pain. Overall, the world is an unfair place and we just have to make the best of it that we can. Additionally, you have to understand that most Fortune 500s and other large companies are meritocracies today. Far more than they were in the past. Just because her dad is the CFO, does not mean that your friend is going to become the CFO within 5 years. She most likely received an entry-level internship position (if she was lucky, perhaps in strategy or corporate development). What she makes of it from there is completely up to her. The reality is that a majority F500s, investment banks, consulting firms, etc. do not have a family ownership structure. The shareholders vote on the major decisions of the company and work with the board and the executive management team to carry forward the company's strategic plan. Most well-run companies that are not family owned also tend to have policies that prevent family members from reporting to each other. Your friend is an exception rather than the rule in America. Family empires are still very common in Europe and Asia, but America is a country that prizes individualism and meritocracy. Just go look at what Warren Buffett's doing with his children.
As far as getting her tuition paid for - I'm sure I'll run into that when I go to business school as well. There's always a few people like that in every class. As long as they're not flaunting it - I won't judge them for it and that's really their business. Due to the nature of business school, I'm sure that everyone in your class will know pretty quickly if someone is the daughter of James Dimon or the son of Lloyd Blankfein - but I doubt that the guy/gal will feel too great about it and I also doubt that they would desire to even speak about it, nevermind rub it in your face.
If you want inspiration - go look at the Forbes 400 list. I would conservatively estimate that at least 75% of the people on it have earned every penny.