<Warning: Contents are from GMATPrep>
It would be great if you can share a few points that i can include to make it a strong essay. Though i thought of a few points, i ran out of ideas very quickly. Would really appreciate you help!
__________For your reference, this is all i could come up with in 30 min__________Please feel free to add the points i missed_______________
The arugument state that, Motorcycle X manufactured by United States has been copied by a foreign company, which sells it for a lesser price and yet, the foreign company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers. The argument points out that, it is because of the quieter product made by foreign company and that, the customers actually love the louder one made by American company. The argument fails to address why even though foreign company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers is selling as well as motorcycle X. This leaves a logic gap, which author fails to fill, but has tried to substantiate using an example that, motorcycle X is not advertised with the loudness but durability. To find out, what is wrong, and what could be straightened up, lets breakdown the argument.
Firstly, the argument mentions that, the foreign company has failed to attract motorcyle X customers and reasoned it out saying that, it is because of the noise difference. This argument is flawed because, there could be various other reasons, such as, the parts of the American made car is probably readily available than the foreign car. But, this fact is refuted, because, author clearly mentions, they sell as well as the American cars. Thus, it means that, motorcycle X customers, are more loyal to American company hence, don't prefer the foreign-made cares. Thus, the main argument by author that, motorcycle X is all about the noise is baseless.
Secondly, the author brings out a paradox stating that, the television ads highlight durability and sleek lines and not the noise made by the car. The author deliberately assumes that, the ads is the only thing that influences the customer choose motorcycle X over others. Since, the evidence shows otherwise, it would be most appropriate that, the reason cutomer chooses motorcycle X could be through, word of mouth or experience rather than a television ad. The author, thus fails to provide proper reasoning as to why motorcycle X is selling despite the television ad.
Lastly, the argument fails to clarify the fact, as to why the motorcyle X ad has durability and sleek lines and not the sound, despite the fact that, customers prefer the noisiness of the car. This could very well mean, that the company makers of motorcycle X aren't aware of the customer preference of that and that when the ad was first conceived, they wanted to highlight the positives - durability and sleekness and underscore the negatives - noise by the voice-overs or rock music.
In conclusions, the author seems to deviate from the point as to why foreign company cars have failed to attract motocycle X customers and hasn't provided proper reasoing to support the paradox. The argument fails to establish why foreign-made cars still sell as well as the american-made cars. The argument, pointlessly brings in the company ad to show a paradox and leaves it at that, without any proper evidence. The argument would be strong, if the above incongruities are addressed.
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